Is it normal or has anyone had a situation where their spouse believes that they are counseling you (he still thinks i am the troubled one that hasn’t dealt with my trauma and i am a covert narcissist)? I am still out of the house and will be having a place of my own soon, my husband just contacted me, he was very nice, calm and still very distant (he keeps on saying that he wants to help me and still cares because i am a human being, he refrains from saying i love you, miss you or anything like that) but it sounds like he is thinking properly. I am so confused, he still says that i hurt our pets but i don’t remember it at all, he says that’s the tricky part about being a covert narcissist is that they don’t realize what they are doing sometimes. Please help i am hurt and so confused because i feel like i am the crazy one (he makes me cry and believe that i seriously have a problem)
Taking care of yourself is your first priority job. Do you have a counselor or minister you can see?
I am working on getting connected with a counselor at the moment. He tries to counsel me because he knows that i have gone through some childhood trauma that i never really dealt with. He told me he was going to call me again last night but did not, it is really causing me a lot of mental confusion, sadness, and rejection. I start feeling fine when he doesn’t contact me (except for worrying about his well-being). He says he has been off the meds for awhile now and feels better than he has ever felt on his meds, he believes his meds has caused his major depression but fails to remember his diagnosis of schizophrenia
Thank him for his advice. Like what @oldladyblue said, get outside support to deal with your feelings that you are the one that’s not seeing things right.
Thank you for the advice, i am trying to use whatever counseling resources i have. Just wondering is this a normal behaviour for people who suffer from schizophrenia
Yes, yes, and yes again! It is VERY normal behavior for someone with a severe mental illness (your husband) to reject the idea that THEY are the one with the problem, and to point the finger at ANYONE else (you) they can make to feel responsible.
Phetsy, you have GOT to stop questioning yourself and stop listening to his sickness talk about how you are to blame. YOU ARE NOT to blame, and you also can’t cure him. Sz is a VERY severe uncurable illness. I am so sorry this happened to him, but he is ill. Your first priority is to take care of yourself so that you don’t mentally and physically spin in.
Thank you for the reassurance
This is almost word for word things that my husband said to me this past summer during his prodromal psychosis phase. I do not have any underlying trauma and I am very confident and self-assured and he was trying to tear me down or deflect as I kept trying to figure out what was going on with him.
This was before his first period of actual psychosis, so we didn’t have a diagnosis or meds or anything.
You’re ok, and you are doing the right things in a difficult situation. I hope you’re able to get into counselling for support soon.