Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Sharing a poem. Could any illness be worse? I think not

This is a poem that was shared by another support group. We can all learn from this.

“The nightmare of my schizophrenia”

Creeping stalkers
A sudden surprise
Tactile hallucinations
A shock to the eyes
Perverted monstrosity
Transsexual dream
Psychosis one nightmare episode after the other
Rape and torture constant suffering
Fighting for delusions that make no sense
Being sure of reality, a cruel and awful lie
A distortion of the truth
Broken and fragmented thoughts and feelings
Constant embarrassment shame humiliation
From actions past
The pills they give make everything better
One side effect after the other
Trapped like a wounded animal slowly dying
Trying to escape when there is no hope
Schizophrenia the worst of mental illness
A lifelong diagnosis hope is bleak
Just make sure to take your medication everything will be fine
It’s just to heal your shattered mind
You are crazy you’re insane
There’s a chemistry imbalance with your brain
Dopamine blockers, antipsychotic
Movement disorder Akathisia is hell
Erectile dysfunction no laughing matter
Side effects more than I can bare
Are they permanent or will they go away?
Can I come off my pills and be normal again?
Or is it just a countdown to voices, hallucinations, delusions and another psychotic episode
Will I even remember what I do?
What if I become violent?
I’ve got to come off these pills I can’t take it any longer
But if I do I’m a ticking time bomb
Trapped in hell, never believed in before
I can’t believe this is my life
One second, minute, hour at a time
Day by day trudges by
Sleep is a relief
But then the nightmares come
One day at a time
One day at a time

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A lot of truth in all of this.

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I weep as I read your poem, it helps.

Mother if 50-year- old son diagnosed with
paranoid SZ 30+ years ago.

Still has psychotic episodes.

Med’ s side effects:. :heart: Cardiac arrhythmia, sleeplessness, fatigue, isolation.

from Vermont

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Thank you for posting this. It’s always helpful to read the thoughts of someone who is suffering with this disease. It expands our thoughts, patience, and compassion.

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Thank you for sharing that. It is sad but feels true

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Sometimes I don’t believe any illness could be worse. Schizophrenia destroys you in so many ways. And many don’t recover. But it doesn’t kill you either

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