I’m new here so please forgive me if I don’t know exactly how to explain this.
I’m currently expecting a baby with my SO of almost a year. He’s been staying with me and my family for a few months now due to lack of his own home. He has trouble keeping a job, so money is also an issue for him. He’s a great guy when he’s not going through these phases where he’s incredibly paranoid. He’s currently in one of his phases and has been in this phase for a couple weeks now. He very much believes that there are “invisible” people in the house that we know about and won’t confess it to him. He thinks my mom and brother are watching him and “corralling” him as he calls it. My brother spends an obnoxious amount of time in the bathroom when he’s home and not with his fiancee. My SO believes that he’s not really in the bathroom, I’m not really sure where he thinks he is or what he thinks he’s doing. I’m confused on that. My daughter’s gf will come spend a few nights with us and she’ll do her online college work while she’s not working. He believes that she’s an IT person and she’s not really doing school work on her computer. She’s actually hacking into his phone or something of that nature. When it comes to me, he’s started comparing me to his ex gf that did him wrong by cheating, etc. He thinks that when I’m in bed and moving around (as one does when they are almost 8 months pregnant) that I’m being intimate with someone that he can’t see.
There are more things (reptilians, commenting that he’s not from this planet, etc) Most of these things he just casually mentions in conversations and it’s not something that I’ve ever been that concerned with. He also seems to be paranoid about our neighbors.
I know he’s been diagnosed with ADHD and he’s mentioned being diagnosed with borderline personality disorder.
After reading about things to try and understand and to also try and see how concerned I should be about our son inheriting his dad’s mental concerns. I came across Schizophrenia and everything points to it. He’s never mentioned it, so I don’t know if this is something he could possibly know about or not.
I just want to help him, but I don’t know if I can. I love him, but I don’t think that’s going to be enough to get him to stay and get help.
That sounds so difficult and stressful. Parts of your experience (the paranoia, thinking people are reading/listening to phones, knowing/seeing beings who aren’t there, trouble keeping a job) echo of symptoms my brother has shown. He is diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder, which as I understand it is a combination of schizophrenia and a mood disorder like depression, bipolar disorder, or borderline personality disorder (he is diagnosed as schizophrenic & borderline).
I wish I had more advice on how to get someone help who doesn’t want it - or doesn’t think they need it. I’d maybe begin your search with reading about “schizoaffective disorder” and seeing if any of that rings true for you
I swear it seems like he’s 2 different people. Just last night he was ok when I got home from work. We hung out a little bit, watched videos on Youtube and just had a good time together. Then he got up to go to the bathroom and go smoke a cigarette. I noticed he stayed gone a little while, but eventually heard him in the kitchen getting something to eat. He came back in the bedroom a totally different person. He was annoyed and angry. Saying that he was gonna start sleeping in different places every night to “switch it up on us” and he was gonna start going out during the day so people in the house wouldn’t feel like they have to watch him (not his exact words but pretty much what he meant) He constantly accuses my mom (not to her face) of signaling someone by coughing or singing or humming and when she looks in one of the closets in the hallway he says that she’s doing it for a reason. It’s so confusing and, as much as I love him, I’m getting tired.
Everything is getting worse instead of better. Now he’s decided that he’s not talking to me anymore because I don’t ever answer his questions. I’ve answered the same questions multiple times and he won’t accept the answers. Last night he insisted on trying to keep me up most of the night. Accusing me of witchcraft, sleeping with a coworker, worse than all that he’s started accusing me of sleeping with my own brother, whom he’s decided isn’t actually my brother. Now he’s saying that the baby isn’t his. I don’t know what to do anymore. Every time I would try and explain something he “asked” or answer anything that he had misconstrued as something different, he would talk over me and say that he didn’t care what I had to say because he knows the answer. He’s complaining about us not being intimate, but it’s hard to be with someone who either won’t sleep in the same place as you or lays in bed accusing you of things half the night.
I’ve been through some rough spots with him, but I’ve never seen him like this.
That is a lot of escalation. And is so emotionally draining. Does he have any family you can reach out to? For support, or maybe to help & try to get him to a professional of some kind? It’s hard when your loved one feels like they don’t need help & like they are the only sane one
I’ve never met any of his direct family. I’ve met his uncle (dad’s bro in law) but he’s not around anymore and I’ve met his daughter for a few minutes (obviously I wouldn’t take this to her). He’s been ok the past few days, which is a blessing for him and for us. He’s still dealing with the paranoia aspect of things and I don’t know when he may have another episode, but I’m taking what I can get right now. My family has been great but they don’t really understand his moods so it’s harder for them (my mom especially).