So a friend of mine is being 'mistreated?'


#1

(Before i start, i really care ALOT about my friend with schizophrenia, we know each other for a long time)

A friend of me and my brothers has schizophrenia, as far as i know he does not have multiple personalities, mainly delusions and hallucinations.

Now he does smoke weed, and some of my mates visit him and they smoke together, usually fun times.

Recently there was a break-in at his place, my heart dropped, luckily he is all okay and so are his belongings (out of paranoia he sets up boobytraps around his motorcycle etc, i guess his paranoia prevented his belongings from being stolen).

But he is slowly believing that all of my mates that go there are behind it. (Except for me and my brother, i think he can sense we will support him no matter what)
I am pretty sure it weren’t my friends as they were out of our village that night.

But now they kinda got into an argument and now they arent all happy friends anymore.

And here’s the difficult part, after the argument they are making remarks about schizophrenia and joking about him and the way he acts dodgy sometimes.
I dont find it all that funny, instead im looking for a way to approach him about the delusions and his schizophrenia.

I have suffered myself from some mental illnesses so i know how serious it is.

But his schizophrenia has always been a taboo, we all know that he has schizophrenia, and he knows we know this.

Now what im basicly asking; How can i talk with a person with schizophrenia about his or her delusions and paranoia? I just have this feeling he will think im plotting against him in some sort of way when i start talking about his disorder.


#2

You sound like a really caring friend.Just come out with it straightforwardly, that’s how my true friends deal with my episodes.


#3

Don’t yell. Don’t get angry. My Mom did that over something she thought was a delusion. I said I thought Dad had tried to hit me with his truck (he nearly did hit me. I was extremely scared. If he had hit me I might never get to run again). She got upset. Really. Really. upset. She kinda gently shook me every once in a while for emphasis (I felt like she wanted to shake harder) and just got mad. Not sad/mad. Just mad. Like delusions are my fault and I can snap out of them. I can’t. Neither can he. All that getting mad and yelling is going to do is make him never want to (and maybe he will go through with this) never actually speak to you again. It might seem like you might be able to win with volume or emotion. But you can’t.
I’m not contradicting Laurel. I have never had a delusion get in there really badly. But be calm. Don’t get mad. Don’t yell.
No matter what happens, yelling and getting angry won’t solve it. (Unless he does something that he knows is bad. I don’t know what to do then).


#4

Welcome to the forum StefDons :smile:

Looking into LEAP and Dr. Amador’s book may be what you are looking for.

http://www.leapinstitute.org/ - under resources are free videos on using LEAP
LEAP is a way of communicating to build trust. Listen-Empathize-Agree-Partner.
http://dramador.com/ - Dr. Xavier Amador is a clinical psychologist whose brother had schizophrenia. He is the founder of the LEAP Institute. Wrote the book: I’m Not Sick I Don’t Need Help! Can buy from his website.
Search Xavier Amador and LEAP on youtube.com and you should find some long videos

Using this approach may help your friend to feel comfortable opening up to you.

It sounds like he has been diagnosed with SZ. Do you know if he is on meds and/or seeing a psychiatrist?


#5

Thanks for all the responses i appreciate it very much.
I know he has anti-psychotics, also we both take valium so i know he takes it, don’t know what dose.

@Onceapoet
I don’t see a reason why i should yell or be mad at him, especially since he always says my brother and i can have a “terrifying presence” since we are both above 6’8" and heavily build. He said this after we stood up for him when a few people were threathening him, which is why i try to approach him as careful as possible, i would only yell if he did something terrible (i.e. violating other people)

And thanks @Laurel, i think i will use the approach you suggest.

There is an age difference of about 15 years between us tho, im 21, he is around 35, so that makes it difficult on a thing such as growing up together. I have talked openly with him about his suicide attempt a few years ago (He took around 300mg temazepam, like a whole monthly prescription at once) and started driving his motorcycle hoping he would crash, he did crash or rather pass out at a traffic light. So yeah, things can get really serious for him.

I will read the things you have suggested BarbieBF and try to translate them to Dutch (Yes i live in Europe)
And yes, he has been officially diagnosed with SZ, he visits clinics when he can sense a nasty episode coming up.


#6

Believe it or not, some people do it.


#7

Welcome StefDons! I also think you should be straight forward. Don’t get mad or angry. He might be angry at you for bringing it up. But it will pass if he belives you are on “his side” and supportive.

Maybe his delusions aren’t so deep in his head that you can help him notice them and make a reality check.

Does he have any insight in his illness?