Son assaulted me while in delusion, feel alone


#21

Well, I agree that sitting around doing nothing is probably bad for him, but equally I think that our habit of defining ourselves through our work is probably not good either. That competitive side of social attitudes can really damage people’s self esteem when they have a disability, and that then aggravates their stress and depression. So if you’re not careful, you can’t win. Sheer boredom and loneliness can bring on depression and psychosis, but so can assessing oneself according to unachievable and even dehumanizing goals.

In fact as my son got better step by step, he started doing things. First, playing computer games. He was really cagey about it at first. He thought id accuse him of being lazy, but in fact modern computer games are really hard to play, and good for cognitive skills. So I used to sit next to him and admire the graphics, production values, etc. Then he started doing weights. Then he enrolled for some evening classes. At this point he was off his meds, had a break and was hospitalized. We got him out as fast as possible. He was motivated by the fact he was missing his classes. He started on depot injections. Since then he has carried on improving and studying. He did an art course and is doing online programming courses. As far as I am concerned there is no rush for him to get an actual job. He is talking about getting a part time job so he meets people. I said he can do that or maybe do voluntary work. But basically he wants to have a life, of course. I am sure your son is the same. What I have emphasized to my son is that he should do things that he really enjoys. And that no, I don’t expect him to try to impress me or anyone else by dedication to wage slavery. I want him to have a good quality of life. I don’t care about the Protestant work ethic!


#22

I remember going to our first counselor after our son’s diagnosis. He asked if our son ever was violent toward us? We gratefully said no. It wasn’t a year later he hugged me so tight it either cracked a rib or bruised something. He was sorry but it changed our relationship. He punched my husband in the stomach and I know my husband’s spirit was broken as a result. We probably should have sought counseling then and now. He is on his meds now and I am not afraid. The therapist said to never confront them in a psychotic state. But do not let them run the house either. He thought the community groups were a good idea and we have left that on the table. If he ever starts to get violent do look away and leave. Do not look in their eyes and never get in front of them and the door. We had another instance when he punched me in the back thinking I was a demon. I just happened to be in his room when he was delusional and couldn’t get out.

We started to the hospital and he punched me in the head. I picked up my husband and we drove him to the hospital. It was very risky but I try not to use the police since we don’t have a CIT officer in our county. Even remembering those days are sad but I can assure you it hasn’t happened since and you did the absolute best thing you could do if it got his attention. I don’t understand why they held him in jail though. Were the hospitals full? God bless you Mom and I hope you heal from this trauma. I know you love your son and it wasn’t him who did this, it was the illness.


#23

Hi, Sobrien!

My son has been aggressive towards me several times too. You are not alone. I fill out involuntary commitment papers and have the police pick him up and take him to the hospital. You can press charges but that will only cause him legal problems. Does he have to live with you? Right now my son is in the hospital after being in jail for violating his probation. He spent 2 months and two weeks in jail. Then because he did not do well on his assessments in jail the judge asked me to fill out the papers to send him to the hospital. That is where he is now. This has been a terrible year for him and me. It is never ending. Before he was taken into custody I was at my wit’s end. Caring for someone with this illness is not easy. Now I am thinking how will he be when he is discharged. He cannot live with me because he has a felony record. Before going to jail. He was sleeping at my place at night and living on the streets during the day but now it is cold. I had a place but he will not stay there he prefers the street. This is the best site only someone in your shoes knows what you are going through.

I do the best I can do and try to live my life at the same time. I hope your situation gets better and I will pray for all of us.


#24

Hi Sobrien. I noticed that you posted this in February and I’m wondering how you are doing. I’m not sure what I would do if my daughter assaulted me. Someone on this thread mentioned going to court and having it mandated that your son receive shots – I think that is what I would do if my daughter physically assaulted me.