Son in hospital


#22

I’ve asked as was told that at this time I probably wouldn’t get it. It seems she has to do something real bad to get them to help her,ugh


#23

My maternal grandfather had bipolar. He was not one of those manic people who attracted everyone. When he was manic (and only when he was manic) he was an argumentative, in your face type person. My mama told me years ago that when her Daddy was sick he ___always turned on the people closest to him. _I remind myself of that whenever my son has been accusatory toward me.


#24

I read somewhere that risk of suicide is highest right after release from hospital. I would not leave him alone.


#25

It took 3 years to get a doctor to prescribe an antidepressant for my son. The fear of suicide was very real, but psychiatrist kept saying psychosis has to be stopped first. Well guess what? Psychosis is till not completely gone! And I doubt there is any prescription that will completely stop the voices. Depression is just as dangerous in a different way as psychosis, and I believe the depression causes voices to be mean and derogatory.


#26

He was released from the hospital on Tuesday and of course was very happy and positive and each day that has gone by he has been a little more down a little more down - he goes to his psych and to therapist today - I hope it helps - and yes those closest ones are the ones that get the brunt of it all - I guess it’s because they feel safest with us


#27

Have you heard of Westbridge in Manchester, NH? It is a therapeutic community that deals with dual diagnosis. I wonder what kind of reputation they have locally?


#28

My son also has no idea how to do anything. He could never live alone, paying his bills etc., doctor said he would never be able to learn how. He is well maintained on invega the monthly shot but cognitive deficit and all the negative symptoms remain rendering him incapable and what was the word? Described as an inadequate individual. Yes, it is sad and hurtful. I’ve always hated that description of my son!!


#29

I’ve never heard of westbridge,we have insurance so she could even go to mclanes in Mass but she doesn’t want to.
I really wish my wife would get a shot then we wouldn’t worry if she’s taking her meds but of course she says no way.
I got a really surprising phone call from da wife today and she said she really loves me and realises how much I give up for her. I can’t remember when if ever she talked to me like that.


#30

Catherine, your son sounds so much like my daughter. I can’t imagine her living alone. I just had a therapy and doctor visit. Yep, I need meds for the depression and anxiety of all of this. Therapist brought up the possibility of a group home. Daughter is very bright and I could never see her living in one. Psychiatrist said I need to talk to her case worker about housing for her because she is bad for my mental health. I really don’t think they get it at all sometimes. I love my daughter and she is very sweet, non violent, thank God.


#31

She’d be bad for your mental health in a group home too - you’d still worry about her, maybe even more than you do now.


#32

Help ,my sons been drinking again :confounded:He usually smokes weed but he says it’s not working. I’m just hearing noises of him falling around in his room . He’s in no sense to talk to right now. He allways says after I won’t drink Again , then we’re back to square one :sob:


#33

Your heading caught my eye: ‘son in hospital’. I am in the same boat. This is day 6 of my son’s first psychotic break and he is in care. He was put on xyprexa and it has helped his symptoms tremendously. Each day gets a little better. For me, I am a wreck. This has been devastating beyond belief. I read the posts here and see lives of unbelievable sacrifice by moms trying to do right by their sons. That’s how I feel too. We don’t have a history of sz in the family but I did have a bad flu during the first trimester of my pregnancy with him. That may have predisposed him. I don’t know. But he also smoked a lot of strong pot and that DID NOT help. Now it is a waiting game to see if he ‘gets his brain back’ as one therapist put it.

He is 24 and like I said, has never had a psychotic break before - that I know of. I realize now that he put all his energy into trying to hide his hallucinations and delusions from everyone. What I don’t know is how long this has been going on. He will not talk details with me.

He has always been socially awkward, riddled with anxiety and interested in things that other kids couldn’t care less about. He has struggled with personal hygiene, executive functioning and motivation. He did hold a retail job for two years while living on his own in a roommate situation. Unfortunately he lost his job and was evicted just a few weeks ago. He had totally isolated and would not respond to texts, phone calls, emails or anything. We had to drive across town to his house to communicate with him. We did not know how bad things had gotten until one of his roommates contacted me and told me he had four days to get out of there. His psychotic break occurred just a few weeks after this incident.

But I visited him in the hospital today and he seemed like his old self so I felt hopeful - cautiously hopeful. I know it is a long road ahead and the professionals are waiting for a formal diagnosis. There is a chance he will be referred to an early intervention psychosis program so I have some hope there.

That waiting is really hard. Those of you who have been living with this for years have my utmost admiration. I am still in devastation mode. All I can think of is - No wife. No family. No job. No future. I can’t bear to think about it.


#34

That doesn’t have to be his future. My son struggles right now because they are in the long process of adjusting his meds and he lacks insight.

He is in what they call an “intensive community treatment” program here, but he’s not accepting most of the help he could get.

The case manager there told me that they’ve seen people come through their doors that most would consider lost causes. They’ve managed to reach some & through both medication & therapy, some have went back to college or gotten jobs or done all kinds of things.

It’s too early to say your son won’t have a good recovery.


#35

Thank you for your insight slw. I haven’t lost all hope but I will admit that when I saw/experienced my kid in this psychotic state and I didn’t even recognize who the person was in my son’s body, my mind just cut to the worst case scenario. During his psychosis, he became extremely agitated and, similar to some of the stories above, told me things like that I had NEVER listened to him a day in his life, that he couldn’t ever hug me again, that I better not get emotional, that this is really who he is, and other such shocking words. Never had I heard him say anything even remotely close to this kind of thing, and using the tone he used. Honestly, it was traumatic. I also can relate to the poster who talked about her sad mother’s day. On that day, I told my son it was mother’s day and he just stared blankly, the flat affect. We ‘celebrated’ the entire day, even went to his grandma’s, and never did I get the sense he even knew there was a special occasion happening.

So, my worst case scenario tendency is, I guess, a form of self-preservation. It is an ‘expect the worst and hope for the best type’ of thing. I’m so new to all of this. Our local NAMI group isn’t meeting for 3 weeks so my husband and I are in this state of perpetual shock and trauma with no outlet except forums like this. All we talk about is what has happened. I can’t face people. Good thing I am retired.

There has been talk of intensive out-patient therapy once he is discharged. There has also been talk of an early-intervention program. We don’t know what the team will decide/recommend but it’s getting close to discharge because he is stabilizing. My son will come here to live so I need to educate myself on how to talk to him. It’s going to be a long, hard road but I feel like momma bear and I want to do right by my boy.

I worry about nagging him about meds though. I have no idea how he’ll be about that. The one GOOD thing I can say is that he is interested in the treatment he is getting. He attends the classes they offer that pertain to his illness and I can tell he is learning some coping skills. His psych is wonderful and has a way of talking with my son that gets him to open up quite readily. I have learned a lot about how to talk to him from the doc.

So, yes, hope is alive. I know he could still have some kind of quality to his life. One day at a time. For me, one breath at a time.

Really thankful for this forum right now.


#36

I hope he’s referred to the first episode psychosis program. Keep advocating for that or any other wrap around treatment. Intensive out-patient would also be good.

Communication and coping tips: http://www.schizophrenia.com/family/60tip.html

Books (my top three with quoted notes from the main website that hosts this forum):

1.) The Complete Family Guide to Schizophrenia: Helping Your Loved One Get the Most Out of Life (Paperback) - “Do people with schizophrenia ever get better? With the vast majority of those with the disorder dependent on their families for care, close relatives often grapple with that question. The Complete Family Guide to Schizophrenia inspires hope. Authors Kim T. Mueser, PhD, and Susan Gingerich, MSW, walk readers through a range of treatment and support options that can lead to a better life for the entire family. Individual chapters highlight special issues for parents, siblings, and partners, while other sections provide tips for dealing with problems including cognitive difficulties, substance abuse, and psychosis. Families learn to help their loved ones manage day-to-day tasks, develop friendships, and set personal life goals. Like no other book, this powerful, practical resource helps families stay connected to the individual behind the disorder so they can work together toward recovery.”

2.) Surviving Schizophrenia : A Manual for Families, Patients, and Providers (5th Edition) by E. Fuller Torrey (Author) “Dr. E. Fuller Torrey’s book “Surviving Schizophrenia” is an book we highly recommend for every family affected by schizophrenia. Dr. Torrey is a leader in the schizophrenia research field, and has a sister with schizophrenia, so in writting this book he has drawn from extensive personal, clinical and research experience.”

3.) I am Not Sick, I Don’t Need Help! - Helping the Seriously Mentally Ill Accept Treatment by Xavier Amador
"This book helps you learn what the latest research says about why so many do not believe they are ill, why they refuse treatment, and how you can help. A good book for people to read if they have a family member or friend who does not understand they have schizophrenia and don’t think they need help. It is written for families and therapists."
—This book also has really good communication skills in general, even if family member has insight.—

As to recovery, there is a kind of rule of quarters with first episodes of these illnesses. 25% recover fully and do not relapse. About 25% improve significantly and live the type of life you want for your son. Approx 25% recover somewhat, enough to live meaningful lives that they choose. The last fourth includes all the bad outcomes. Also, the later it happens, the better the chances of recovery. 24 is good for a male.

So, there is a large chance of recovery, especially with treatment, which he is receiving, and especially if he stops using marijuana and other intoxicating substances. It’s so good he is interested in the classes.

You are observing yourself well. You noticed you are traumatized. Maybe you can find someone to talk to or spend time with who can really listen to you. One day at a time is definitely the best path.


#37

Thank you hereandhere. Just hearing kind, encouraging words like yours helps.

I too hope he will get into the early intervention program but they won’t take him unless drugs are ruled completely out and they’re not there yet with his diagnosis.

You are right, I need help. I can’t imagine a mother reacting any differently than I have, though, given what has transpired not only in the past few weeks, but all through his downward spiral which goes back about a year.

I was in a very happy place in my life before my son started circling the drain. I know I can get there again. But like his recovery, it will take time and effort.

One understanding friend wisely told me that I can’t cure him, so there is no sense in letting my life be ruined over this.

And thanks for the book referrals.


#38

My son has just became part of the intensive community treatment program here in the last few months, but he is not really working with them. They are waiting for him to get more stable before they try to get him involved since he’s resistant & has some level of paranoia about his case manager.

If what they’re offering your son is similar, they will have a team that includes a dedicated psychiatrist and nurse plus a set of case manager/therapists. They all work as a team, so a participant may work with any of them if their main case manager is out sick or on vacation or for some other reason.

They can come out to your home & work with the person there, and they can do med management in the home. But, it’s not supposed to be like traditional therapy. They go out & do things & just have normal conversations about what’s going on. They try to keep the people active & engaged with the community & they’ll work on goals the patient sets, whether that’s to get a job or go back to school or do anything else. Even if their goals sound totally unreachable to us.

A lot of the times, they may just take someone out to grab a bite to eat or see a movie, but they also take day trips to the beach or similar places. Sometimes they go camping. One trip to the dr’s office, we saw a group of them having a cookout by the office & playing cornhole. It looked like they were having a lot of fun.


#39

Some first episode psychosis programs have a six month waiting period after drug use. If that is the case where you live and he has sz, after six months he can possibly reapply.


#40

Well, we just found out he is being discharged tomorrow and back into my home he comes. I am terrified and I hope this feeling passes quickly. I just don’t know how he will be.

At first he will attend intensive out patient therapy 3-5 days per week for up to three weeks. In the meantime he is being referred to a much longer and more comprehensive first psychosis intervention program which is a situation where they would have to accept him. Dear God in heaven, I have never wanted anything so much in my life. I feel like this is the key for him. He might be able to have a chance through this program.

It is looking like he was vulnerable to sz and the pot was likely a factor but not the sole cause of the psychosis.

If they don’t accept him I will be devastated all over again. They have to accept him. If anyone has any advice on how to advocate for this PLEASE LET ME KNOW.

He is doing better on the xyprexa but is still delusional at times and it is very hard for me to see and interact with him like this. I guess I have to learn how to accept this part of my son I don’t like at all. The hardest thing is that he is totally unaware that without our support he’d be living in the streets. He adopts an arrogant attitude, like he’s got everything figured out, and it is all in flat affect. It’s really tough. REALLY tough. I know it’s the disease, but knowing and feeling are two very different things.

This is the worst grief I’ve ever felt, only no one brings casseroles like when someone has cancer or has died.


#41

Zyprexa is a good drug. My son was mostly stable on it for about 8 years.

They say the delusions are the last thing to go, and in my experience that’s true.

If you can, change the subject when he brings them up. If you can’t, don’t try to reason him out of them - these thoughts are his reality. You’ll start to see when they loosen their grip, but it’ll happen slowly and there can be lots of ups & downs.

For now, don’t exactly agree with him if you can help it.
Some phrases people use are “I believe that you believe it” or “We’ll have to agree to disagree about that”. My son’s caught on to that a long time ago, so I use “I’ll take your word for it” or “That’s interesting” - more recently it’s been “Well, I know you wouldn’t like to me”.

I got a lot of good advice from a book called “I’m Not Sick, I Don’t Need Help” by Dr Xaviar Amador. There are videos about his LEAP method here, on his website & on YouTube I think.