We finally got a callback from the subsidized apartment my son has been on waiting list for. They have an apartment for him and are getting it ready for his move in within the month. He is excited about this but I am feeling worried today that I won t be there to look after him as much. I try to make sure he eats fairly healthy and that he has clean clothes and I turn his light out at night when he falls asleep, you know, things like that. Since he doesn’t drive I know I will see him to run his errands and apps. I feel we are very close now and I am very attuned to his symptoms and he tells me if he isn’t feeling good. I know he needs this independence, but I still feel I need to watch over him a lot as he is only 2 years into this illness. Any thought or advise?
Breathe and know that anytime he is moving towards more independence in any form, it is a good thing. We won’t be here forever for them. I hope I don’t sound insensitive because if I put myself in your shoes I would be feeling the same way you are. Nervous about how it will affect him. If he is excited, I think that is great. I wish you both the best.
In this situation, I would probably maintain as much face to face contact as my family member was comfortable with. Call or text once a day. Then, if there were any rough spots, they would have the chance to ask for support.
Thanks Mom2, I am praying and am going to see him a lot. He doesn t make friends easily and just started seeing one old friend from high school occasionally. I am afraid he will isolate himself more. Thanks for the kind words, always appreciated.
You are so right about face to face contact. He will be close to my place so I will be over there a lot and bring him back to my home to visit. Thanks for your thoughtful reply.
Several years after diagnosis, we are facing the same challenge. My son is fairly functional and still drives. His route maybe somewhat convoluted, but he generally gets where he is going. He eats well. Not so much interested in grooming and bathing. I am forbidden to help him unpack he will do it himself. Same with cleaning. I handle his money, but he is suspicious of me so he needs to see me pay the bills. He will let me shop for him, but we have to discuss every item. I really have to let go of a lot of what I would like to “control” (his word) and do whatever can reasonably be done his way. Deep breaths and a smile go a long way. Don’t think I am perfect…have snapped a time or two already, but in the long run, him living on his own is for the best. But it is hard not to worry.
Thanks for your reply, I think it will be a challenge ,but you are right about the smile going a long way. My son drove until about 18 months ago when he got in an accident. He isn’t comfortable on buses, so I am his transportation. He is good company most of the time, unless he gets anxiety or paranoid. My son is 22, how old is yours?
He is 32. He was 24 at time of diagnosis, but hindsight, began showing symptoms at 17. Completely understand why buses are not going to work!
Your feelings are normal! Of course you will worry! But there are lots of reasons to be hopeful. Is there any oversight at this new residence? Regardless, I expect you will continue to be close. And I can tell it is important to you to find ways to show him love. I completely relate to that part. You will still be able to do that without overstepping. How wonderful he can have some independence. Yes, the illness can continue to change, but we have to take one season, or one day, at a time. He will be learning and using good skills!