He did finally go to bed after I posted and seems to be sleeping which is good.
So right now do something relaxing!
We have settled into a routine. He gets up around dinner time and stays up all night. Every morning Iām getting up to the living room a mess. Stuff spilt all over the coffee table and floor. Getting him to clean it up is a test in patience if it happens. My husband woke up this morning to him hysterically laughing. He started last night too and I just tell him that if he needs to do this to do it in his room and he stops. Every morning he says that he has insomnia that he took his pills and still canāt sleep. So I count them and no he hadnāt taken them. He really is that confused. He takes them (Clozapine and Lithium only) and within 45 minutes goes to bed and stays there for 10-12 hours. Zero personal hygiene. I did get him to wash his bedding and a load of laundry the other night. Making up his bed I found knife holes in his bedding and the mattress. Itās a $800 mattress that I got for my daughter after her scoliosis surgery.
Oh man, 
It sounds like heās not doing any better at all. He does sound like the confusion is kicking in and heās having a hard time keeping track of stuff like meds and sleep and self care.
Iām sorry your waking up to a trashed house. Itās hard enough getting up in the morningā¦ but getting up to a trashed houseā¦ Is he eating?
Iām sorry heās taking these steps backwardsā¦ Sending the best vibes I can. 
I can relate to thisā¦ 
And also to the destructionā¦
Iām sorry you are going through this ā¦
He is eating. Not like he usually does but most days he is eating some dinner and he makes popcorn every night that he sometimes eats. He is drinking. Even though he is in bed 10-12 hours I havenāt heard him snoring or moving around like he usually does in his sleep. So not doing any better but I guess the Clozapine is stopping him from getting worse.
My husband actually locked our bedroom door when he left for work this morning. I woke up locked in my bedroom 
He called to let me know why but I kinda figured he was worried about something.
I know you are going through similar. Feeling helpless to stop it is the hard part.
Iām glad your husband is keeping you safeā¦ I do hope your son is letting go of some of his anger at you.
No anger right now at all. In fact he tells me not to yell at him when I try to talk sternly about him cleaning up his messes. I did give him a hug and a kiss last night and told him that I loved him and he told me that he loved me too.
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I am very sorry to hear that your son refuses to take meds. That will be devastating. But this is pretty common among us Schizophrenics. I rejected medication myself years ago. Then I got two severe relapses in 2012 which frightened me. I went thought the torture of dreadful hallucinations plus seizures, TD and one month long sleepless period. And then I was sent to the hospital. In the hospital I thought I was dying. The Pdoc put me on Invega. About 7 days later, these seizures, TD, hallucinations, delusions , insomnia, all disappeared. I realized that my life was saved by antipsychotics. I accepted antipsychotics and took it ever since.
I hope your son comes to the realization of proper medication sooner than I experienced.
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I think that may be part of the problem with my son. I wonāt say his breaks havenāt been hard on him however for the most part his experience with the negative is limited. I donāt think he has had a break that scared him or was so bad to experience that he doesnāt want to go there again. He was diagnosed paranoid sz but he is only paranoid when he is in psychosis and/or high. My sonās sz centers around a quest for answers about his soul and the afterlife. Answers I cannot give him but that his voices seem to tempt him with. I say tempt because almost 4 years later they havenāt given him the answers that he seeks but instead leave him in limbo. His voices are mostly funny and rarely get negative with him that I can tell.
I donāt know how to fight this other world of his when he gets so much pleasure and enjoyment from it. Sorry didnāt mean to get all sentimental but it is part of the experience 
Before the relapses in 2012, I had not heard voices or intrusive thoughts. I just had paranoia. So I rejected the label of SZ and medication. My reason was I had not heard voices. However, after I stopped taking meds, My SZ symptoms got deteriorated. I started to hear voices and had intrusive thoughts. Also the delusions became terror-stricken. not as funny as beforeā¦So i guess your sonās symptoms will get worse and worse if he rejects medication.
Sigh. I hope for better days ahead. I do find that a little affection whenever it can be slipped in makes both me and my son feel better.
My son is having some renewed delusions and paranoia, but where his is at right now is handling it fine, and because I know that, I can handle it better too. Saturday he was with me all day. In the late afternoon, he took a shower and then I could hear him yelling in the basement. Never sure how to handle that. There is something to be said for the fact that he took it downstairs. I would like to just completely avoid it, but also feel it is best to try to short circuit it if possible. So I went down and asked him to please quiet down. He got confrontational, but not in a scary way, so I just was able to go back upstairs, and eat my dinner. I kept asking him to please stop yelling, and told him I was open to talk about anything, just not to being yelled at. He calmed down after about 20 minutes and told me he was sorry for putting me thru that.
Sunday had an excellent time with him, out to eat and a visit to the bookstore, but then he was sending his dad text messages filled with his paranoia about the military. All I could say was - at least it seems to be confined to the military, and doesnāt involve the aliens right now!
I smiledā¦ It can be amazing how we take things in stride and how our perspective of things change.
My son has been awake for 38 hours and no signs of wanting to go to sleep. He ate some rice yesterday for supper but other then that hasnāt eaten for about 35 hours except maybe a pickle or two. He isnāt even making his normal messes because he is doing so little. Randomly laughing here and there. This morning looking at himself in the bathroom mirror for about 10-15 minutes until I asked him to leave the bathroom. Takes him a couple of seconds to respond when I ask him anything. Sometimes just stares at me. Yesterday spend hours just looking at his blank computer screen.
This is so different from his last decompression since there is no marijuana involved. I canāt believe how hard this is to watch when itās not as bad as when he was admitted in September of last year. That was so much easier as he decompressed so quickly that getting him admitted was easy. This however is frustrating to say the least.
I just talked to his case worker and she is going to drop by and assess him. She advised I take him to ER or call an ambulance but if they arenāt going to keep him then whatās the point? All that will do is confirm in his eyes that he is ok.
I donāt know if I should keep trying to get his Clozapine into him or not so that he can reach a point of needing admittance as really itās not helping him at this point just maintaining him not having a full break. I did notice 3 of his Seroquel missing that he says he tried to take but then stopped taking them. I donāt know. If he took them and still didnāt sleep then thatās a bad sign of how strong the schizophrenia is working in his brain.
Deep breathes right! I just hate feeling so helpless.
Iām sending the best vibes I can. I remember a bit that feelingā¦ the wax build-up that makes it hard to move, hard to hear and respond.
I donāt know if itās this way for your sonā¦ but there were times I was sure I was moving at normal pace and it just wasnāt fast enough.
Itās a tough callā¦ Your rightā¦ if you take him in and they sayā¦ heās not bad enough yet, then it doesnāt help. But at the same timeā¦ If you take him in, they might just see how bad he is give you some ideas where to go from there.
Hang in thereā¦ the answer will come to you soon. Youāll follow your gut decision and it will work out.
His case worker just left with him to take him to the hospital for a ācheck upā. Probably wonāt admit him but I can hopeā¦ He has downplayed the not eating as fasting per the Muslim religion and that not eating and sleeping is energizing his body and mind. Paranoia is showing some in that he is worried about moving into a place without his own room as it will be full of thieves that will take his stuff. Surprisingly he is more aware of time then I thought he was. Knows what day of the week etc. This slow decompression is ridiculous. I unfortunately didnāt keep it together and cried in front of him and his worker so now he wants out of here because Iām having a mental break down and he canāt handle it. I just told her that I canāt watch this happen again. Maybe if he is in a shelter then they can get him admitted or the help that he needs because I canāt.
@BarbieBF , I hope they admit him in the hospital. They can do blood work and other tests to see how he is doing health wise and check his state of mind. I know itās so hard. Hang in there and I hope they will do something today. Good thing you are home and see how bad it is. Watching him is probably worse thing a mother can do knowing that he need help sooner than later. Good luck and I will be looking for your messages. Stay strong.
He doesnāt meet the criteria to be admitted and there are no beds available anywhere today so he is coming home. Hopefully he will go to bed and get some sleep when he does.
Iām sorry BarbieBF itās so hard to see our children have to go through this and we have to wait till the right time to get them help. Iām not sure how the laws are in Canada about getting him admitted to a hospital but if heās not eating and starving himself 36 hrs and not able to take care of himself it may be considered gravely disabled. Is meeting criteria harm to others/self and gravely disabled ? Has he had a past of hurting himself during episode or unable to speak or function? If yes, you may be able to get him admitted before a full-blown episode. What are the full-blown episode like in the past? I know my son always tries to hurt himself in a full-blown episode or becomes gravely disabled canāt move or do for himself , speak .eat , dress, not able to use restroom/urinates and lays in the same spot for long periods of time. I always let the police or CAT team know about his past episode and how he deteriorates or becomes suicidal. Also , I have learned in Ca. you can also ask Doctor while he is in hospital if you can get him on LPs guardianship temporary for 1 year and maybe get him into a Board and Care or Long term care . Hope this helps prayers to you and your family.