He did crash for 10-12 hours. Things went down hill quickly yesterday. I was trying to get him in the shower as after two weeks he was really bad. Was making me gag bad. I interrupted his ‘private time’ and he got mad. Started punching the wall. I didn’t think just reacted and called 911. They couldn’t do anything. Once my hubby got home from work we took him to a men’s shelter. I called them later to make sure he actually stayed and wasn’t out wondering somewhere. Surprisingly he actually signed a release for them to talk to me. I gave them all of his treatment information and names. He actually ate which is the first time since Tuesday and it was 35 hours before that so a plate of rice in 5 days. He was upset but seems to have calmed down. I don’t recall everything the lady on the phone told me but since he is in a shelter for the first time there are services available to him which include family mediation. They will try to help him! It was a tough choice but I think the right one at least for now.
Wow, you have had a very long string of very tough choices. I hope a new place and new people will reset things and help him. It sounds like a good place if they have family mediation services and some support care.
I’m glad he finally ate. Have you had a chance to talk to him today?
I was worried about the environment since I found this shelter on my own. It wasn’t part of the list that PACT gave me. He had taken his knives with him and we had to go back and get them because he can’t have them there. They have control over his medications and I think keep all meds locked up. I gave them a heads up on his love of benzo’s. I think this will be a good learning experience for him when someone other then mom has expectations or rules that just have to be followed. It’s not me being unreasonable lol.
No I haven’t talked to him yet. I just called PACT and gave them a heads up that the shelter may be calling to connect so they can help him. The shelter is in a different district so they didn’t know who PACT was. I want to be there for him but at the same time I think he needs to learn to rely on others so I think I will wait a bit. Give him time to settle in and adjust. Through out all of his breaks he has always remembered both my telephone numbers and has never felt like he can’t call me so I know that he will when he is ready.
When I was going off the rails and Mom and Dad had nothing left to give and I got put in a group home I was SO angry at them. I remember sitting there waiting for them to come and pick me up and I had it in my mind that I was going to expect an apology before I LET them take me home.
But they didn’t come. I was left to stew in my mess for a while. Not once did I give any thought to how hard that might have been on them too. Seeing this side of the wall sure is an eye opener.
I see now, my parents desperately needed to recharge the batteries.
I hope the family mediation services help out.
One day at a time… I’m rooting for you.
(I have to go call my Mom now and apologize for being such a butt back then)
@BarbieBF if it’s any consolation I think you have done completely the right thing…my experience of mental health services in the UK are that if there is good family support available then unfortunately the patient stops becoming a priority…and the family are left to try and manage the situation themselves. Several times professionals have ‘off the record’ advised me to make my son homeless so that he gets the treatment he needs quicker. I am thinking of you all and hoping that your son is more stable soon. Take care of yourself.
I know I haven’t been around much lately. Trying to deal with my own emotions that are pretty confused right now and my hubby is off for the long weekend so I try not to be on the computer as much when he is home 
My son called me yesterday on the new cell phone that he just bought. When the police where here I ended up having to give my son back his disability check that he already signed over to me and I had already sent him an email transfer for his portion after paying me for his board and lodgings for August. Thanx to one police officers wonderful intervention, yes I’m being sarcastic, I ended up having to give my son back the $832 check. So as it stands right now I’m out my $700 for supporting him in August.
Honestly the phone call pissed me off. Here I was worrying about him for two days and he is at the mall spending this money. I don’t even know how to handle this. Since it’s the long weekend all the normal support staff that know the system is off until Tuesday. If I contact his disability worker I’m worried that he will lose his medications coverage as what he is doing is fraud, I think. He just doesn’t get it. Really he only called me to get the number of his disability worker so that he can try to get more money. Other then that he has no reason to call me because he doesn’t want anything. It’s hard dealing with the fact that the only worth I seem to be to him is what I can financially give him.
Unless something happens, things are on hold til Tuesday when I can talk to people and find out what my options are.
Sorry, Barbie! I believe schizophrenics are more often the victim in misuse of funds, but clearly they can be the instigator as well. It is not a nice feeling to be used for someone’s financial play. My understanding is that your son doesn’t have the smarts to make a regular pattern out of this present shot he took.
My sister stole some money from me, and what really hurts is that it is in the way of a relationship between the two of us. In her mind, she’s the one who is wronged in the situation, which is almost incomprehensible. But until I realized how twisted her thinking has become, I did some more damage to the relationship by insisting she just set things straight as she ought to do.
I didn’t want to lose a relationship with a sister.
Jayster.
.
It’s noon Tuesday here. I haven’t been able to get a hold of his case worker with PACT. Ready4Life doesn’t have a release to talk to me so I’m not even going to bother trying to call them yet. I did talk to a lady at the shelter that he is at who has some knowledge of the disability system. Doesn’t appear that there is anything I can do about getting money from his last check. I can call and let them know what he is doing with it and urge them to put a trustee in place however there is no rush I guess. I will try to give PACT a chance to get involved, if then can, because he is in a different district that this PACT does not cover.
I got a call from the police in the area that he is in yesterday evening. Of course they couldn’t tell me what happened as he is over 18, just that he didn’t know the name of the shelter he was staying at, that I would know. Luckily he signed a release at the shelter for them to talk to me. I guess he tried to buy $500 worth of drugs and the person didn’t return with the drugs so he went to the police… I don’t know whether to be amused by this or dumbfounded. He is obviously not thinking clearly.
I let the shelter know some other details that he is registered with Ready4Life and a heads up that he can’t handle stimulants like Adderall just in case he tries… Someone will be talking to him today, to get more forms filled out etc. I let them know that I am here and available for family support if he needs me. He has been taking his Clozapine and Lithium so that is good.
@BarbieBF, I am so sorry for what you are going through. Wishing you the very best. I know the it has not been easy but as parents We got to do what ever We can.
Sorry about your troubles, Barb, but I think letting him go and butt up against a whole range of new people is going to be good for him long term. He is obviously being supported too. So, if I were you, I would sit back, take a well-deserved rest and let it all roll for a while. If you read people’s stories on this forum, all the recovered people have passed through this phase.
Tbest1, I did this by telling my son to leave home (at 26). He did end up in homeless accommodation for a year but now has an excellent flat, an excellent Early Intervention team and he’s well into recovery and our relationship is also back to excellent. I am still giving him quite a lot of financial support, but when he was at home and sinking into a pit of despair and paranoia and withdrawal, I was paying for everything anyway. The money’s not the issue. Now he’s got a life. This week he’s talking about making his living room nice first so he can have guests and a social life. Me, I am crying with relief and gratitude!
Hatty sometimes we have to take a calculated risk and sometimes it pays off 
so glad its paid off for you and your son. One of the hardest things to deal with is other peoples (well meaning) advice. You should do this…you should do that etc etc…at the end of the day we have to do what sits right with us as individuals and families. Love is love whether its tough love or not. If me and my son can end up like you and yours i’ll be happy