Hey all,
How are all of the caregivers out there balancing (or not!) with care-giving & Coronavirus? Are you ok?
I don’t know about y’all but I am burning out hard. I can’t see an end to anything. My spouse has been struggling with his SZA, and I am a public school teacher in a state with a climbing deathrate and several hotspots. My spouse’s doctor’s office has been a dumpster fire-- back in March they closed and transitioned to telehealth appointments, and said “we regret that we cannot complete any paperwork at this time.” Took me 2 months (TWO MONTHS) to get his disability paperwork completed, and he almost lost his job because the dr’s office was not responding to our phone calls or HR’s requests for communication. This office management is bad enough that my husband’s doctor is leaving the practice, so we are now in the process of finding another doctor.
I know about “self-care” and how it’s supposed to work, but there’s just nothing left for me. I don’t even have the energy to be pessimistic! I am not sad or upset. I hope I am tricking everyone around me-- I don’t want anyone to know that I don’t have any hopes for the future anymore. I am just robotically trying my best. I know seeing a doctor and a therapist are good ideas, but my husband’s medical needs take priority, and we can’t afford more, especially right now.
Hey laughingsteps… I’m not sure how helpful it is, but if you’ve your own primary care and any kind of insurance left at all (I personally don’t know a lot about how teachers in the workforce have been managing, but I do want to thank you in general first just for your chosen profession. I’ve always felt you guys have been undervalued, much like some in healthcare…) but if you call your primary care they should have a general phone number for you to call for therapists in your area. Many have opened up their practices in this time of global crisis outside of their usual networks and are also offering extremely discounted rates for those not carrying insurance. When you call, somebody will assess your needs wether it be anxiety and stress, depression, loss or grief, etc. and schedule you a teleconference with the appropriate therapist specifically for your focus.
My thoughts are with you…
thank you so much for your kind response! It’s really comforting. I’ll try to reach out- I know our school system did try to establish some resources. I feel so frustrated and overwhelmed, but I also cannot even really be mad at the administration. EVERYONE in the school system is working with too little, too late right now…
it makes it that much harder to ask for help, though. because it’s really everybody… the parents are calling me, panicking that they have to go back to work, and where will their special needs child be? and I can’t even promise to protect them.
at least, when we do active shooter drills, I can put myself in front of the door. I can’t even do that right now.
First of all, I DO understand. I am SO sorry how hard this is for you, me, and everyone. With you being a teacher, I can’t even begin to imagine the added stress you feel. Please try to hang in because while you can’t see the hope, I know what it’s like to NOT see the hope anywhere, it IS THERE. You just can’t see it.
I feel like I tell myself that after November 3rd, we get a competent leader elected and then help and solutions start to reveal themselves and we get closer to a working vaccine for ourselves and our loved ones and things begin to enter the LIGHT again with some sanity and some kind of returned sense of “normalcy” and I use that term very carefully as I am not sure I really believe in normalcy anymore. As for self care my friend, I know how that feels too, I really do, with NOTHING left in the tank to do anything even breath right or even give a crap about the “next steps” let alone know what they are.
I have changed my approach to self care…No rules anymore for me, which means if I need to lay down and pull the covers over my head in my bed I just do it, no reasons or excuses or anything. Maybe I lay there 10 minutes or maybe I lay there 10 hours , I mean it is what it is. If I need a HOT shower and I just took one but I need that feeling of it…in the shower I go. If I need a salty snack or a sweet snack …diets be damned…If I need to talk to a sane person about serious things, I am lucky enough to have a therapist that I have had for a long while and while there are no in person visits we can talk by phone for an hour twice a month…I can’t recommend that sort of thing ENOUGH if it is at all possible to obtain…it’s more valuable than you may realize.
I also try my best when the weather is okay to find a secluded patch of forest to go walk in, alone or with my sz son and just listen to the silence of the woods or the birds chirping or sit on a bench and stare up at the clouds or close your eyes or talk to the trees. I hope you are getting my drift. This is an IMPOSSIBLE and extremely stressful time for so many…You are not alone…but you thrived before all of this happened…You truly can thrive after it passes, and it WILL pass.
I have not met you but I believe in you and I have faith in you and I appreciate you for the teacher you are (I adore teachers!-my oldest son is a teacher!) and I appreciate you for the loving caretaker you are. You are stronger and tougher than the burdens you bear right now. Anytime you want to message me for any reason even just to chat or complain or vent PLEASE feel free to do so!! hugs