@hope and @Day-by-Day Yeah I just let it sit. I didn’t even respond. It’s too hard to determine what the future may bring. My BF never knew my son when he was well. On the other hand, I don’t particularly care for one of his sons and he’s not even sick.
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My son takes continuous showers when off meds. I have figured out he does it to sound out noises. he’s not taking showers. We have turned the main water off at times,
We are here for you no matter how dark you are feeling. We all take turns 
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Omg Leiann. That’s so true. We certainly do seem to take turns venting our dark days and periods. I know I sure as hell have.
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Happy Cake Day Leiann!
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That means it’s her year anniversary?
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It makes such a relief in my life to have this group. So good to know we are not alone and can relate to someone who really understands the sadness we can feel. I went to a movie tonite with my partner and it was kinda sad and I started feeling so bad about my son. Also I sometimes feel guilty when I do something fun and he never wants to go anywhere.
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yes, I do like the cake day recognition, I’m a big cake fan from way back😀
I get that Irene. To some extent, I’m sure we all have moments every day like that. My son had a bad day yesterday but when all was said and done, he watched tv with me for a bit, and when he wasn’t looking, I caught myself just staring at him. Remembering him before this disease I hate so much. Felt so sad in that moment of normalcy. More than I did when he was telling off the voices earlier that day. I feel better knowing there is this group, people who have gone through hell as well, and who are fighting as hard as I am for the people we love. You get it. Sometimes, for some of us, it’s all we got. Thank you to all of you, though I wish that not one of us had to go through any of it.
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I was wondering what that was Thank you Hope!
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I know the idea that some of us may experience “different personalities” in our loved ones is being discussed on a different thread, but I’d just like to say that tonight we are enjoying the “nice” personality, as opposed to the “jerk”, as we not-so-fondly call it.
We love when we have “the nice one” because he so much more closely resembles the son we raised and enjoyed for the first 19 years of his life. It’s the son that we would’ve had from here on in, if this illness hadn’t struck him down and messed his brain up.
For us, this illness hits in phases. Trying to breathe the good moments in.
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I’m a big cake lover too. I’m a frosting person. I always want a corner piece.
Better yet, I’ll take a bowl of frosting.
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Thanks for your reply… I exactly know that feeling of catching my son in a “normal” seeming moment and thinking of how he could of been had he not been struck down with this hated disease. Yes I do understand that the love we feel for them is so intense and we want them to have any small pleasure to savor in their lives. We are so grateful for “good” days and sometimes it almost seems like my son is normal, but not for very long. I am so glad to have this forum because it makes a huge difference in my relating to my son and realizing how things I used to think were important just don’t matter to me.
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And make it buttercream frosting - yeah- buttercream on chocolate or buttercream on white or buttercream on yellow
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Hello all,
Just checking in, doing okay, had a surprise visit from my daughter and grandson. It was wonderful!
Our family is still in the dark waiting to hear about our sons (Lou) competency hearing. For some silly reason I thought it would just take a few days, it’s been 3 weeks. I’m going to make some phone calls to the holding facility where he is supposed to be. And also call the state hospital for an update.
Saying my prayers and waiting patiently. AnnieNorCal
Edit:
Wmac, thank you for your response. In California, they move the patient back and forth between the hospital and the court.
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Hang in there, Annie. The competency testing may have been done but the report needs to go to the attorneys and then a court date needs to be set. In our state there are courts set up at the state hospital so patients don’t have to be transported. It took over 3 weeks for my son’s competency testing to make its way to the courtroom (and another 6 months before he got the NGRI plea).
I’m lucky in that my son was willing to sign a ROI for me to have information. I am so sorry that you’re being kept in the dark. Knowing what was going to happen next was somehow comforting to me ( I am a nurse and I like information). Keep calling the facilities- you may find a sympathetic ear- and remember, even though they can’t talk to you, YOU can talk to THEM and give information that may be helpful. And one of my philosophies is “the squeaky family gets the grease”
I can relate to your anxiety, believe me.
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Hello all - my husband went on a 1 week vacation, and my son did GREAT while we were gone!
The vacation was wonderful and much needed, and him doing well made it that much better.
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Excellent! I’m glad you were able to get away for a break. Where did you go - if you don’t mind me asking. So glad your son did well. Did you make meals for him and check in every day or so?
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We went to Southwest Colorado. Spent a lot of time relaxing at the hot springs at Pagosa.
He told me what food he wanted, and I prepared enough food for the week, as well as leaving him with a few treats. I sent him short messages and a picture every day.
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I wanted to double heart or triple heart this; I’m so glad your son did well and you were able to have fun and relax. That’s wonderful.
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