@daytoday. I hear you. I feel the same today. Exhausted from making multiple trips to stores for ,t daughter, and taking her to the dollar tree. I am tired of cleaning the house every day, multiple times as well. My only hope is knowing that tomorrow is a new day. I hope you have a better tomorrow.
I’m not good. Feeling hopeless and like my son’s illness is slowing sucking the life out of me. He is medicated but if this is as good as it gets, then it’s not that good. I’m exhausted from fighting the insurance company. His Invega is $2,600 per month and we are going broke. Angry, resentful, sad, heart broken. Grateful for this forum.
Can you get him on Medicaid or is he under 18? I’m sorry it’s so expensive!
He’s 27 and was diagnosed at 19. We’ve applied for disability but they keep denying him. He wasn’t able to finish college and has never held a job for longer than a month or two. At this point all he does is sleep and eat.
My daughter has been denied also. I can’t understand how someone can be denied then they very obviously can’t work. It is so frustrating!
I think sometimes social security thinks that if they live with their parents, they don’t need any help. They don’t consider a lot of parents, like us, cannot afford to pay for things. My daughter can’t work and has separation issues big time so I can’t work outside the home. We are really struggling to pay the bills. We had a hearing with an administrative law judge last month and are awaiting his decision.
@dkgreggm not sure what state you live in, but your daughter may qualify forbin Home supportive services. She can pay you to take care of her, and it will help with your financial situation. Sometimes it is a slow go, but check it out to see if she qualifies.
I am so sorry. Who completed his SSI application? Has he ever been hospitalized or a danger to himself or others? Does illness affect his ADLs? I’m no expert on this, but I think SSI benefits are strongly influenced by whether the person’s ADLs (Activities of Daily Living), that is, “The things we normally do in daily living including any daily activity we perform for self-care such as feeding ourselves, bathing, dressing, grooming, work, homemaking, and leisure” are affected, and income (possibly less than $3,000 annually). If you have not already done so, you might consider using or at least talking to an attorney who does not get paid until benefits are actually awarded, in which case, the attorney gets a percent. And then he might also qualify for SSDI if or when there is a qualified parent who is receiving retirement or disability benefits or passes away.
Hi Day-to-Day, I am sorry you had a bad day. We get a lot of them when we have to deal with this illness. Being a caregiver is really hard and relentless, and not what we signed up for in life. I understand that feeling where you just want to collapse because you can 't do it anymore. Today is a new day and hopefully will be more peaceful for you. Stay strong and remember you are not alone and for right now you are doing the best you can for your loved one. I pray all our sons have a peaceful day and some joy today.
@bananna, in some states, you can get Medicare and Medicaid, which will cover a lot. Was your son diagnosed before he was 22? Here, that qualifies a person who has a serious mental illness also. Some states will provide help through in home supportive services. You should check your state and make an appointment. You can get paid, minimum wage for caregiving. Everybit helps
My son is in the state hospital on an NGRI after his second psychotic breakdown when he injured me with a knife. I went to see him in the hospital last night. He is making steady improvement and is working on a relapse prevention plan and on understanding his warning symptoms. As part of that, he and his therapist listened to the 16 minute taped statement I gave the police in the ER after the attack. What he said made the biggest impression on him was my insistence that he not be prosecuted, because of his mental illness. Apparently I was very vocal about that, because he and his therapist were shaken by it. My son said the therapist told him that this was proof that an adoptive mother can love her kid as much as a birth mom. He teared up as he told me this, which made me tear up as well. Oh, the insights this kid is having…
@WAmac - I got goosebumps and teared up myself on your story. Glad your son is doing so much better!
I’m on vacation and I try to go to a garden. My dad drops me off and yells “Get in the car, get in the car I’ll drop you off in front”. People nearby proceed to look back and I just get in the car and don’t even want to go anymore. Stop embarassing me. Stop yelling, even if you’re try to help.
Dear WAmac and all
Thank you for checking in with me. Lou was at the state hospital in Patton, Ca. In May 2018 he was transferred back to San Diego. We just received word that he is competent at this time and the judicial system is considering going to a pre-trial for the assualt on all charges. He is being held on 2 counts of first degree attempted murder, 2 counts of assualt with a non fire arm, and 4 counts of mayhem. Pretty glum.
I’m not even sure if I should be on this site, my problems are so extreme.
As you all know Lou suffered a horrible auto accident which he only survived due to medical advances that saved his life. Otherwise he probably would have died. The assualt happened as a result of the traumatic brain injury. I’m just so sadden by everything, not much hope. Sorry for the grim reaper attitude. AnnieNorCal
Edit: I’m not sure if this posted to all on this site or just WAmac, I apologize if this post offends anyone. I’ve have not told my daughters yet and it just breaks my heart to share. Don’t know how to tell our family. We are good people facing a situation that I hope none of you ever experience
I am not at all offended and have great sympathy for the pain you are going through. There are no problems too extreme. I’m guessing most of us are not surprised by anything and we care so very much. I would hope that a court would acknowledge the brain injury and be lenient. Will Lou have a court-appointed attorney?
Hi Annie - I’m so sorry for what you are going through. It makes me want to cry. You do need support and I think this is a good place for you. Please stick with us. I agree with @hope4us and most people here that I hope the judge is lenient and realizes that this happened because of your sons accident. I will be thinking of you. I am so so sorry.
Yes Lou has one of the best court appointed attorney. The judges opinion now stands no leiniency for lou. There is no offer on the table and looks like this will go to trial for the maximum sentence. Still in the pliminary pre trial stages. Thank you all AnnieNorCal
Edit: We have not seen Lou for almost 2 years. No visitors or phone calls. I can however send letters via email, even though it is one sided, I know he receives them. We will persevere and continue to remain faithful.
@Annie. I agree. You need support for you. That is what this site is about. Is there a possibility that his sentence could be to confine him toa hospital setting. Being legally competent is different from being physically and emotionally competent to deal with incarceration. If he has a brain injury, this should be a mitigating factor, I would think.
Sorry for what you are going through.
We are really thankful for the court appointed attorney who is on Lous case. There have been many evaluations and forensic reports.
The hard part about all of this, Lou is one of the nicest, kindest, loving people you would ever meet on the street. He’s grandmother kind, loves his family, loves his sisters and nephew. Would never hurt anyone. He is the young man that every daughters parents would love to have for a son in law. So sad, his outcome is never going to be normal. AnnieNorCal