Here’s some more unsolicited advice.
Ask them what they would do if it was their child? If they would be any different, or do anything different.
I’m sure they mean well.
Of all the things I’ve heard, the one comment that bothered me the most was a co-worker who would say I must be a really strong person to deal with it - implying that most people would turn their back on their own child in the same situation, something I don’t want to think is true.
That’s when I got the idea to put the person in my shoes.
I finally told her that it’s not that I’m any stronger than anyone else. When it’s your child, you do what you have to do because you have no choice. And, ended it with, I’m sure in my position you’d do the same.
I’ve been in this for almost 13 years, and every time I think I’ve accepted things, it all changes - and I have to find a new level of acceptance. It’s more than a moving target - it’s a constantly shifting reality for all of us.
But, we are strong people. In it’s own way, this is much worse than cancer, or even the death of your child - if you get through this, you can get through anything.