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Both of these items I can agree with.
I hope you are doing OK @mbheart
Hi @oldladyblue , my son is going thru a period now where he is talking about stopping his meds. He’s actually done this before and it landed him in jail. Very very scary and causes so much anxiety for me not knowing if and when.
Ive decided to use reverse psychology this time and told him to just go ahead. I told him I would support whatever decision he came to.
However, I did remind him of the road he was on with no meds and the road to get here. He’s showering, he’s talking, he’s cooking, he’s keeping his apt organized, and most importantly he seems content and no longer has the strange scared look in his eyes.
I told him if he was ready to lose all that and possibly be hospitalized/jailed again, I told him to go right ahead. I kept calm and told him whatever happens will happen.
I’m hoping his current sane state is absorbing what I said and I’m hoping he makes the right decision.
Why do they think they can just stop the meds and be well without it?
Anyway, this is what I’m dealing with these days, waiting constantly for devastating news. Thought of going thru hell again is… hell.
I hope you and your daughter continue to remain in a stabilized state and I hope you are finally at peace.
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You’ve asked a very good question @mbheart , “Why do they think they can just stop the meds and be well without it?”
I don’t think there is a good answer for that. I sure felt the frustration each time my daughter was hospitalized, put on meds, and came off meds, until the time she stayed on the meds that are still working for her now. The yoyo of emotions that go with getting a loved one on a good stabilizing routine is hell.
I truly hope that your son absorbs what you said, it is great that you kept calm while talking to him about such a monumental life changing choice for him. I can understand the anxiety you are going through. I’m sorry this is happening.
It probably took a year for me to find peace myself, and for my anxiety to subside, after my daughter’s psychosis eased and almost totally disappeared. The past year has been pretty good, very good in fact, until today, when I found out that I have breast cancer. Now a new scary time starts for me. Funnily enough, when I told my daughter this afternoon, she was very upbeat, and hopeful that all will come out OK because “there are good medicines and treatments to help”. She used to be pretty much against all medicine and drugs, and believed only natural vitamin supplements helped. I think she understands the benefit of her monthly injection to her ability to hold a job, and that was the most important thing to her, to feel valuable at work. Her psychiatrist helped her to stay on her monthly shot the recent time she asked to come off of it. It’s not come up since.
You and your son have been through so much! I believe he can process the good place he is in now and compare it to the bad place he was in before and make the right choice. Maybe you will have to just reiterate your view gently enough times for him to come to the same conclusion himself. I hope so.
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Oh there’s lots of possible reasons… I was misdiagnosed. It’ll be different this time, last time I was under stress, had a breakup going on, a job, a boss, a difficult roommate, etc. Other environmental issues caused the illness. [I had a (non diagnosed) girlfriend associate symptoms with the house I was living in at the time. She compared it to the Amityville Horror house.] I don’t feel any different, or these drugs aren’t really doing anything (the side effects of some newer medications can be so subtle you don’t “feel” drugged). Or the side effects are worse than the disease. The drugs are poison, they weaken me, I’m having sexual side effects. The supplements I’m taking are enough. It’s gone into remission. I miss how I felt off drugs, my life is so boring now. I can handle it and can always start back up if I notice symptoms. (most people with SMI I know, set aside a stash of medication for emergencies. I’ve done it, and I know just recently my brother depleted his stash and found getting a GP to prescribe or finding a psychiatrist to see him during a pandemic is super difficult.)
And this is just a sample of a few I know or experienced. And outside of obvious cognitive impairment or anasognosia. Impaired minds are even more creative at “justifications” and convenient to true amnesia about their past episodes.
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@oldladyblue im so sorry to hear about your health! As if though you haven’t already been thru enough!
I’m really glad to hear about your daughters stabilization, and the fact that she’s now supporting you thru this, you truly deserve this.
I’m going to have to make that dreaded trip to the doctor myself, I really have not been feeling well since this whole thing erupted in my life, not just mentally but physically, and lately it has really escalated to persistent symptoms that I can no longer ignore.
I truly will be hoping for the best for you and your daughter, and I’m hoping my son comes to his senses. I don’t know if I can withstand another round of this cycle.
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Hi @mbheart I just re-read this today, and it made me wonder how you are?
Hi @oldladyblue, well I still have not made it to the doctor. I’ve scheduled it at least 3x, but ended up canceling each appointment. It seems like something more pressing always gets in the way. My furnace breaking this winter, looking after my son and his needs, also I’m in the process of buying a small mobile home for myself. It’s a lot to handle.
I’ve decided to let my son move into my condo and me move out to a smaller place. He was going to get this house anyway after I pass, so why wait until I pass away? I can no longer stand where he is living. It was nice 5 years ago, but has gradually declined as far as the type of tenants he’s around and also the maintenance is terrible there when something breaks or when he doesn’t have heat. I can’t stand to see him living like that in that not so great area and the type of people he’s around constantly.
But… we CANNOT live together.
So I think I found a small mobile home for myself alittle further out away from the city, 1 bedroom 1 bath mobile home. Very small but nice, and great location. Better to have me live in the mobile home than my son.
My condo where my son will be moving into is in a really nice neighborhood in the suburbs and close to major bus routes which is convenient since he does not have his own car. I told him I wanted him to be more self sufficient and start living life as though I’m no longer here to help him. Of course I’ll help if needed, but trying to make him understand I’m not going to be here forever. This includes going food shopping, laundry, preparing his own meals, and keeping condo clean. The condo is only 10 years old and I told him as his landlord, I will be checking in weekly on the condo.
So far he’s doing really well on Zyprexa, and weekly therapy sessions and monthly visits with his psychiatrist. He gets his meds only on the condition that he meets with his therapist and psychiatrist.
He’s experiencing a lot of the negative symptoms from zyprexa, but very stabilized and understands he needs meds. Psychiatrist wanted to prescribe a mood stabilizer and anti depressants, and we both talked about it, and decided against it.
My son was on an anti depressant before and it made him extremely irritable so he was hesitant. But we will see…
My son and I talk a lot on the phone or when I see him about his condition. I’m always pretty blunt with him about the consequences of his actions and don’t sugarcoat anything. I don’t beg or plead. It’s always black and white and he responds better that way.
I tell him daily I love him and he is my life. I think he gets it.
I hope you and your daughter are faring well and she is continuing to work and progressing and stabilized.
Thank you so much for checking up on me
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Hi @mbheart , so glad to hear from you. It sounds like you have worked out a good solution for your living arrangements and I can totally understand that you want your son out of a bad area/ bad living situation. No heat? Oh my. I am glad he is taking his meds and doing therapy. I know you were worried for awhile that he would continue or not. I have many friends here in Fla that live in mobile homes, they are very happy, I hope you get yours fixed up to make you happy. Moving you both will be a strain, but worth it in the end for long term stability.
Please do try to make the time to see a doctor for yourself. It is hard to fit in self care sometimes, but I am hoping you will get the things that worry you checked out, and do the standard tests/checkups recommended for us all at certain ages. I am thankful for the VA taking good care of me. Without their insistence on regular check ups I might have been in big trouble. But all is well.
Being blunt with your son sounds like it works for you both, and I am so glad that you can talk on the phone easily. My daughter is slowly talking more to me on the phone. She likes to call me from work during her lunch breaks now. She rarely talks to a few others when they call her, but she rarely calls anyone. Yes, thank you for good wishes, we are both doing well, and I guess this stability has surprised me at how well it is going.
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