Trying to be there for my son's future through exercise


@DianeR Happy cake day DianeR! Gosh you have had a busy year with your son - and such positive outcomes!


@hope Thank you! Wow - what a whirlwind of a year! I am so thankful for you and this forum helping me through it! Much appreciated!


@wreklus While I am doing my best to be patient while I “work the plan”, I became aware this past week that my husband’s strength workouts were getting longer and he was losing weight! The cad! (That does tell me he has noticed the difference in my muscling.) I quickly accused him of “spousal dieting” and he denied it while laughing happily. I’m sure he was just waiting for me to notice.

We both have always had to watch our weight. While some people diet to get into their wedding apparel, we were both overweight when we got married. Our goal is not to fit into our wedding sizes. They used to say as a rule, a female shouldn’t have a male diet partner because too often the male reaches his goal much faster (and we females think easier) than the female. A humor columnist years ago wrote about “spousal dieting” describing it as spouses who diet competitively with each other.

Here I am working my plan and he rockets past me. I packed up the jambalaya leftovers into lunch portions yesterday. Wait until he sees how much jambalaya I squeezed into them for his lunch.


I am really glad to hear that your husband is on board with exercise and he definitely seems to be inspired by your hard work and your results!
Can’t fault a man for wanting to be attractive for his lady!

I agree that you can’t get into a competitive mindset with your husband. Remember that it is not at all about short term gains, this is an adventure that should be life long. As a lifelong adventure, you -will- achieve your goals, it is inevitable.

My girlfriend sometimes talks about how “easy” it must be for me.
I remind her that I push myself to the brink nearly every workout and that it is very rare that I “take it easy” on myself. As a man, I will never be strong enough. I will never be satisfied with my proportions or ability. That comparing herself and her progress to anyone else’s, especially mine, is a rabbit hole that leads to nowhere good.
I recommend that she only compare her effort every day to what she expects from herself. Everything else will fall exactly in line with that measure.

I think you are already looking at things that way.
I’d definitely say that you’re doing an incredible job of working toward your goals!

My girlfriend needs a little extra reassurance, but she is on her way. Lately, I’ve been encouraging her to talk about how she feels about her last workout. Her level of effort, the intensity, how her body feels. I assure her that I saw how hard she was working and that I know the soreness she is feeling.
It’s fun to joke about how neither of us wants to use our arms, or pretend to wail about having to walk up stairs. It’s a kind of bonding we didn’t have before getting serious about working out together. It helps to curb the competitive instinct we each feel. I’m really glad we have it in common now!


I joined a nearby gym today and will go for a one hour assessment and be given a routine program to follow on the 23rd. I haven’t the faintest idea what to do to begin the exercise path again, I have been inactive except for gardening for the entirety of my daughter’s illness (2.5 years) and after reading this thread off an on, took the dive and signed up. The at home exercise videos I bought are still sitting there unused, so, will try the gym. Hoping to find some gym mates to spur me on to show up there, or maybe a class or two at a regular time, as it is not required that I be at home so much any more (and hasn’t been for a while).


@wreklus My husband does free weights, yoga and elliptical workouts. On weekends I join him for his yoga and he will join me for an easy pilates session, he finds yoga to be easier - how that can be I do not know. Maybe its because he doesn’t like the ab work - pilates will nail the abdomen down. He has used yoga to help deal with the stress when our son lived here. It is a wonderful Sunday when we do yoga together:)

@oldladyblue - YEAH for you for joining us! Lucky you with a gym, now that I am into it more I can see why wreklus wants the gym atmosphere. We will love hearing the results of your assessment and what they have planned for your program.


Congratulations on the gym membership!
Remind yourself that the hardest part is showing up. Even people who are super motivated have slump / lazy days. I recommend making a quick, easy “get ready for the gym” ritual. Personally, I recently modified my ritual; I prepare my gym clothes, then mix a pre-work out suppliment, look myself in the mirror and say something like “I am excited to go to the gym!” Or “I will be stronger tomorrow because I put the work in today!”
It really helps get me off my butt, maybe it will help you, too.

Working out in tandem is a really awesome habit! It really does help to see your partner work hard. I always feel renewed appreciation for my girlfriend when we workout together.
You may not have a gym nearby, but you should definitely take advantage of any space you might have. I remember we talked a little about this before. It’s probably getting colder where you are, or it will soon. Work to modify your workouts to enable yourself to enjoy some outdoors and maximize the time you are able to spend working toward goals (rather than prepping equipment or managing clothing layers). It should help to make up for the lack of a gym by associating certain spaces with hard work, rather than relaxation or taxing gear preparation.

I am taking a lazy day today. For one, I am officially between jobs until Monday. Woo! And for the other, I have big, outdoor plans for the weekend. I tend to work myself harder on off days then when I work, so it should balance out nicely to be lazy today.


You both made me smile with your kind words of encouragement. I will probably wander in to the gym for a class or two this weekend, it is only a one year old building and nicely maintained. They have a movie room set up like a theater with steppers and bicycles to do aerobic while watching a movie. I’d never seen such a thing before, and a sauna… so I can at least start getting more active.


Cardio theaters are really great!
If you go when the crowd is sparse, the staff might even change what they play at your request.
I recommend working with a personal trainer if you are able, at least to establish some baselines for heart rate and intensity. If you can’t get a trainer, talk to your doctor about your exercise goals and ask them to recommend a target heart rate to maintain when doing cardio. Being in an optimal zone for heart rate is the key to beginning conditioning for sure!
Good luck this weekend!
Keep us up to date on how it goes!


Yes, wreklus, they spoke to me about 4 sessions with a trainer for 1/2 price, and I splurged and purchased them. I really want to do this right, get back in shape, get the weight off, feel stronger again, and be healthier. I do have cholesterol problems since gaining 35 lbs probably from sheer worry and sleepless nights for the last 2 years.


Though I do not follow the Kardashians, I do a derrière routine that is supposed to build up a Kim Kardashian size bum.

At this point, I would like to “weigh” in on the controversy of whether her bum is real or implants. Since I no longer fit into a lot of my non-stretch wardrobe, I am beginning to suspect it is quite real.

My husband made an observation (!) and I told him these new muscles are my “fat burners” since I am still not dieting. They aren’t for decoration, they are working muscles.


“They are working muscles”
That’s great! Haha!
I think your attitude toward working out and embracing changes is really on point!

Any updates yet? Have you started already?
I totally agree that there are probably a million factors that lead up to you deciding to make fitness a priority. I certainly don’t encourage anyone to be too hard on themself, but being realistic about your lifestyle and how it effects your health is essential to finally seeing the changes you need.

Update for me:
I set up my office very well, if I do say so myself!
I have a set of heavy resistance bands anchored to the closet door and enough room behind my desk to get some really solid routines weaved into my work day.
It’s really great to be able to knock out a quick few reps while I think, rather than just sit there and stare at my computer.
It’s not going to get me to my goals in itself, but every little bit counts!


Of course it might be more accurate to call them “cookie eaters” - we finally found something our grandson would eat with enthusiasm, turns out its Tollhouse cookies. We are making them regularly now and they are slipping into our afternoon coffee routine on weekends.

Love that you are getting in workouts at work! Years ago when I coached at a high school I had to schedule campus monitoring hours. I would walk around all over the campus, picking up garbage and making sure to use all the stairs. Loved getting paid while getting a workout in.


Those chunks of exercise throughout the day really make a big difference. That’s what I’m aiming for these days!
Cookie Eaters? More like Cookie Destroyers!
The amount of calories it takes to build and sustain muscle should help balance out the occasional treat. Keep it up, because it sounds like you’re still doing really great!


I had my evaluation assessment at the gym with a wonderful energetic young woman. She and I will have 4 more coaching sessions to get me honed into a routine. This visit we targeted lower body. Didn’t feel like I did much exercise at all, but when I woke up this morning, boy, could I feel it. Hahah, she knew what was coming for me with just the few things she showed me. I will visit the gym twice on my own this week and then see her again next Tuesday. I’m happy I signed up, although I’m not happy to be pushed (gently) into buying more coaching time. Ugh, I wish I had more spending money, but I told her that let’s just make the most out of our 5 sessions as continuing personal training is probably out of the question.


i know some who people swear that having a personal trainer work with them is the way to success. Glad it was a soft sell, but I do know what you mean about not being happy about it, I don’t like anyone encouraging me to buy something.


I think the workout chunks scattered really are effective for keeping metabolism up and my energy as well.


@oldladyblue - Epsom salt baths help after a work out. It helps me the day after! : 0 )


Congratulations on getting started!
Don’t let the fact that the exercises seem low-intensity at first. Everyone must go through a period of preparation (I call it conditioning) before they can safely ramp up the intensity.
The soreness and uncomfortable feeling will change as you continue to exercise and soon it will actually start feeling good.
We’re all rooting for you! I can’t wait to hear your next update!

I agree. Soaking after exercise is really good stuff. Especially when you know you deserve the extra pampering, haha!

Things are going great for the girlfriend and myself.
She is focused on building muscle and keep pushing cardio.


Sorry for the double post here. I know it’s faux pas.

Today, my brother joined me for a workout.
I don’t take it easy very often, and today was no slouch of an exercise routine. My brother kept up, which is a testimate to his strength (he was an athlete for most of his life).
It was a really great experience to both push ourselves in the gym together! I am grateful to have had the good health and inclination to work myself into a shape where I can give my brother a run for his money in any exercise.
Still, he has certainly had plenty of complications getting in the way of his health and fitness.
Either way, we had a good time. I look forward to making it a regular thing!