Uncontrollable Tears

Yes, I am more emotional. I seem to cry at the drop of a hat. I feel you!

1 Like

This is a good reason for us to attend a support group like NAMI. Trained leaders help us stay focused on the hear and now and use group knowledge to help each other. There is comfort in sharing. And there is therapy just in getting out of the house.

@hope4us, it honestly did not help me. I tried a few times. Also they only meet once a month, 3rd Monday of every month, and Mondays are when my older son has off from work, so our family always does something on mondays which of course includes my sz son. Itā€™s all for him.

At the end of the day, we have to work things out with ourselves first. But yes, there was a lot of comraderie & understanding there. They also gave me a bunch of informative pamphlets on whose who for mental health.

I still came home feeling the same sadness. The support was nice while there, but my heart still felt heavy coming home.

There are NAMI Family Support Groups that meet weekly where I live. I have attended 3 different groups and found that although they follow the same format, the feeling is different depending on the leader and on those who are actually in attendance on a given week. I attend a group that is very sweet and it does help me to share and to learn from othersā€™ experiences. And quite frankly, similar to this site, it helps me to be able to offer advice that comes from learned experience and encouragement to others.

And I did/do learn a lot on this format. The actual meetings were similar to this forum.
Great group of people? Yes. Informed? Yes. Sense of feeling that youā€™re not alone? Yes. Still sad? Yes. Still cry a lot? Yes.

Just something I need to work on, and manage daily at my own pace I suppose.

Crying is OK from time to time. We have real grief. Hugsā€¦

1 Like

Hello all,
I truly believe that we all grieve in our own way and there is no set time for when we should stop crying or feeling sad or how we should heal. One day at a time is enough grief in its own. One thing I can say (for me) Iā€™ve learned to live with this ambiguous loss, yes there is always sadness lurking in the shadows. I have more and more acceptance about my son Lou and a little more tolerance with time.
I live in a small town and there is one NAMI meeting a month. My concern about attending is my privacy. Everyone in the community knew my son and I am very cautious about who I talk to.
Thank you all for accepting me.
AnnieNorCal

3 Likes

This is exactly how I feel. We all need to grieve @ our own pace

Same here @AnnieNorCal. Only a couple of family members know.

It is the same for meā€¦ and they not on the most convenient days of the weekā€¦ so we have never gone to a NAMI meetingā€¦ this forum is my only support right nowā€¦

Names are not recorded at NAMI meetings, first name and last initial only where I attend. There is no ongoing record of attendance, only the numbers, which may affect the organizationā€™s funding. Everything discussed in a NAMI meeting is supposed to be confidential. That being said, I have told lots of people outside of NAMI about our sonā€™s illness. I hope that wonā€™t be harmful to him someday, but I think more people need to know about how devastating such illnesses are. He has even told people to the extent that he recognizes his situation. Many people themselves have a family member who has an SMI. You would likely be surprised. But I can imagine it is more challenging in a small community.

This has been happening to me all week, which is why I sought out some type of site like this (Iā€™m a little new here) . My husbands symptoms havenā€™t been problematic most of our relationship. They gradually started worsening over the past couple of years and the past month his symptoms have accelerated tenfold and Iā€™m having a hard time figuring out what to do. Iā€™ve been struggling to keep it together at work. I just want to be at home with him trying to enjoy the better moments

I break down when anyone asks what my son is up to, or is he in college, or why I canā€™t go to functions anymore. Only my closest friends know what has been going on in my life and I know these acquaintances are only asking innocently to make conversation but it is just like a punch in the gut and all the lost hopes and dreams just flood over me. I cry when I see a picture of him happy because I am scared I will never see him that way again. I cry when I think of how many years of this hell lie ahead of us. Sometimes though, when something happens that I would think would make me cry, I canā€™t because I feel numb and scarred. This is the most horrible disease ever.

4 Likes

Yes @Brokenheart17, it is the most horrible disease ever. My son became ill as a college freshman. He wouldā€™ve been a second semester senior now, if this tragedy had not happened. My heart aches every single day.

Iā€™m so sorry for you, your son, your family, and all of us.

2 Likes

@Brokenheart17, I can relate to everything youā€™re saying. It does feel like a punch in the gut. I had very little knowledge of sz or its symptoms and the ramifications of this illness, the dark hell it would create. I just thought oh, itā€™s mental illness. Never in a million years did I ever think this would happen to our family. A tragedy for all. Itā€™s a death, but my son is not dead. He is not even close to how he was as a child. The grieving and the darkness that fills my heart every single day is unspeakable. The worst is when his former high school friendsā€™ parents ask how my son is doing. Thatā€™s when the tears just come. I canā€™t even fake it anymore.

1 Like

@Day-by-Day The word tragedy is so fitting because this totally derails someoneā€™s life and everyone that loves themā€™s lives. My heart aches for everyone touched by this illness.

3 Likes

@mbheart I totally relate to this being a death but they are not dead. We grieve the loss of who they were because they are a totally different person. I honestly think it would be easier to lose someone to death because their is closure and knowing they are at peace is comforting. There is no comfort in this and every day when we open our eyes we are faced with this death over and over again.

4 Likes

Yes, as you and @mbheart said, the children we raised are gone. In a flash, due to no fault of ours or of their own, theyā€™re just gone.

It really is a tragedy, in every sense of the word.

1 Like

My wife and my youngest daughter and I were all crying a lot after we had to leave our MI daughter at the psych ward of the hospital for the first time ever this past weekend.

How is she doing at the psych ward?