What do I do now?

So last night, my son who is on so many pills for schizoeffective/bipolar meds, decided to take his entire weekly dosage of gabapentin in one day. 21 pills! Needless to say, he was not able to function at all. He tried to eat dinner and dropped the food on the floor. I talked him into going to bed. He was there for maybe 15 minutes and came out saying that he wanted to eat his dinner. So I made him another plate and took it to the table where he ate 4 bites, dropped that plate and then dropped a full glass of water. He did all this cuz he doesnā€™t feel he can go to a meeting without ā€œsome helpā€. I was supposed to take him to an NA meeting. What do I do with this? I donā€™t want him living with me, but he is unable to take care of himself, how can I get him to stop? I know I canā€™t make him stop, but what can I do?

Hello Tippy, hope you and your family are well today. My son is 22. What Iā€™m experiencing is pure chaos. He is not on medication, aggressive towards me, and Iā€™m unable to be in my own home at this moment. I have felt like you that I want my son out of my house. My reality is if he is capable. Itā€™s VERY hard to just leave them in this condition. Is there a ALF, group home or something? Iā€™ve been looking for a new place to buy with a guest house. Iā€™m willing to sell my home to make it work for the both of us. One thing I can say that you can be grateful for is he is taking his medication the last thing you would need is for him to stop if no one is there to help him with it. The fact that he took that many pills shows how unsafe he is alone and canā€™t manage his medication. The guilt you would feel if he ever overdosed. I know itā€™s hard. I know exactly how you feel cause I share the same feelings. Our truth is that they really need us and they donā€™t have anyone else. Iā€™ve been struggling with this so much just like you are. I have the means to buy him a house and I just know that I canā€™t do that to him. How will he eat, get food, his medications (if he goes back on), clean, and laundry ect. Are there things you can do to make it better for you guys. Can his medications be simplified? Can he get help with functioning at a higher level with therapy? Iā€™ve heard a lot about cognitive behavioral therapy. Iā€™m hoping to get him on medication functioning and hopefully in his own place. As of his this moment he can not. Hang in there Tippy. Just hearing how he dropped the food and water took so many pills crushed my heart :pensive:.

2 Likes

My daughter took more than the usual dose of antipsychotics when she felt very much unwell at one time. She kept taking meds as she wasnā€™t feeling well and forgot how much she took. I took her to emergency and she was under observation for a few hours and everything turned out fine.
Her condition exacerbated then due to a number of things that stressed her out, so we started unwinding most of her commitments. It took a few weeks after for the regular dose of medication to kick in, and in addition, long walks together, lots of talk whatever and whenever anything disturbed her, and for us God to give her strength and hope to pull it through. She also took care of a stray cat who later became our house pet and that helped her mental state tremendously. She now has a psychiatrist whom she could reach out easily to get advice on medication, adjusting to changes in her condition, and also a counsellor (psychologist) who is a wonderful person and is advising her on coping strategies and topics of a sexual nature that I am not comfortable talking. We are not totally out of the woods yet but it would have been so much harder without help. Wish you the very best forward.

I so relate, and love what Ihavethevictory said about getting a small house for them. Iā€™m working on finding another house now, with lots of land, and some space to build a small studio for my mom to live in - or, if she prefers, possibly a bus renovation to make a movable living space that she could park on the land when she wants or needs to, since she sometimes like to be on the go (she is able to drive and has a license) - and Iā€™d feel better knowing she had accommodations with her on her travels (sheā€™s expressed that she would also like that.)

This isnā€™t easy; youā€™re doing great. Itā€™s so hard when the people in our lives who are suffering canā€™t seem to receive enough from us and arenā€™t able (or sometimes willing, although with SZ/psychosis it seems these are essentially the same things) to meet their own needs - let alone seek joy.

If you can find some way to have space from him while also being able to keep an eye on him and help out with meals and meds, etc, that might be the ticket. If you donā€™t own your home, something like a renovated (stationary) bus might be something to seek?

No idea what the best fit for you and your son are, just putting it all out on the table in case any of it sticks!

2 Likes

Hello, if there are group homes for my son, I am not aware of them. The closest thing I found was someone who wanted us to pay WAY more that what we can afford, and all she would do was provide food, shelter and med disbursement. No scheduled activities, no chores. He could come and go as he pleased. It was not a good situation.

1 Like

Is there a business model to aggregate our kids in some community that focuses on SZ? Hell Iā€™d buy the home/land if someone would live there as a caretaker. Our kids could cycle in and out with a safe place to go. Life learning skills. SZ primary diagnosis only. Focus on love and grace. And help them live their best life. Iā€™m in Texas.

We need an alternative to Sober Living, Medicaid Group Homes, and ā€˜keeping them at home while our souls disappear in the darknessā€™. @RishI

4 Likes

I would build my son a home there! I keep thinking the same as you. Thatā€™s the kind of living our loved ones need.

Count me in for a small group home with a caretaker and a consulting psychiatrist. Our sonā€™s condo building is taking us to court to evict him! If we lose we also have to pay for their high-powered law firm.
Weā€™ve also thought of buying/building him a small home or putting a trailer on a piece of land. There really is no where at the present time for them to go other than the streets.

3 Likes

I wonder, if your son is declared disabled, can they evict him? These are the things that worry me about getting my son a place to live where his living arrangement is attached to someone else. I just donā€™t see how my son could manage without having his own space where he doesnā€™t bother someone on the other side of the wall! I hope all goes well for you. I agree that a better living arrangement is desperately needed. I want my son out of the house so bad. I hate living on pins and needles with him. Living on the street is not the answer.

1 Like

I take ganapatin for Ms. itā€™s strong. Iā€™m not surprised that it cost a lost of motor control. I would call someoneā€”the prescriber of the med-/and tell them what happened. He definitely overdosed on it. It may just need to wear off. Poor baby.

Not easy for you, too. Hugs.

1 Like

After taking so many Gabapentin, my son was barely able to stand up, could not walk a straight line. He finally went to bed and slept it off. I was monitoring his blood pressure and breathing most of the night and he was so out of it he didnā€™t even know!
Now our latest blow! My son was denied SSI, stating that he did not qualify! This is so unbelievable to me. He is delusional. He believes that he is capable of getting and keeping a job, he believes that he can handle his finances, he believes that he can go to college all of which are not true! So 1 meeting with a Dr from SS and we get denied! He is on so many antipsychotic meds, meds for sz, depression, bipolar, anxiety and depression and he got denied?!! WTH! Now I have to file an appeal. This is so wrong!

1 Like

Hi Tippy
I am about to apply for SSI for my 30yo sza son.
I heard that denial rate is 60-70% so his psychiatrist suggested I speak to a lawyer and that is what I am doing. I have to wait for the appointment but Iā€™ll let you know what I find out.
It seems unbelievable that a psychiatrist would deem an actively severely psychotic person capable of work but sometimes people w sz/sza can pull it together long enough to hide their outward signs of symptoms.
I know you should appeal and you can get a lawyers help for that.
It doesnā€™t cost you anything unless you win.

Hang in there!

I believe we need this everywhere. Our daughter, now 40, lived for 2 years at Spring Lake Ranch Vtā€¦2004-2006. Very expensiveā€¦she got a healthy scholarshipā€¦ the old farm model for MH, prisoners ā€¦ states could do thisā€¦did do thisā€¦ all about lonlinessā€¦ group homes that involve some chores, work, communityā€¦ not rocket science can be done affordability
We need structured community living

1 Like

Oh yes! That is what is needed! If only there was this magical place!