Right now, it’s trying to keep my SZ son from running around and not taking the pandemic seriously. His dad and I are both high risk due to our age (son lives with us), and he is oblivious no matter how many times we try to talk to him about this. He is 29, became ill his freshman year of college at age 19. This disease is exhausting.
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Knowing the difference between schizophrenia symptoms and drug use. They can be so similar and she will lie and say its her mental illness. Her irresponsible spending, not paying her bills. Her accusations but wanting to be supportive. I believe her extreme symptoms anger, belligerence, voices, thinks man in floorboard of her car, etc are from drug use Meth. Without drug use her voices never go completely away. But she is a kinder person when not using illegal drugs. You truly can’t help someone if they refuse help.
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My anger towards her
As a part of the living grieving I am always in the middle of with my sister
Makes me frown, appologise for things I might have had a thought or something so i say I’m sorry for no apparent reason
I can’t talk to her
She is at the moment constantly warning me that my husband will leave me and take all my money
That he and his mother are both involved and they will give the money to the church
None of us are involved In my family with religion
This is pulled out of her fears for me
She says she feels sorry for me and he’s a pirk etc
We could not be more solid, 10 years married and neither of us want to draw breath without the other being so in love till death us do part
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A family member is not medicated and refuses to engage in conversations about anything but food and does not accept other people’s opinion on anything. Luckily for us he is not abusing drugs or any substances. We live in Bulgaria. He was hospitalized once. He was doing better on medication but strongly was against it. We cannot force him to do anything. I know its hard not to lose hope but maybe day this nightmare will pass.
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Welcome to our community. I’m sorry you’re going through this. Don’t lose hope. He might go on and off meds. That is pretty typical and can be heart breaking to witness. Do you two live together?
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I hear you. It is so exhausting taking care of someone else, especially when they don’t see things the way you do. Do you plan on having him live with you for a while? My mom had SZ but lived independently with help from a social worker. Do you think he could do that? (Pardon me for asking such a direct question.) I know there are lots of parents here with adult children living with them. I can’t imagine that burden. Also I have a 20 year old son at home who is respectful yet he pushes the boundaries with social distancing too. It drives me nuts.
I understand it is extremely exhausting. My son is 19 just got diagnosed in April. We are now on our 4th medication none have helped with the voices. They tell him to kill himself constantly. I am trying to get him on the right medication it’s so hard. I also feel that many psychiatrist don’t care. I feel so weak, but I have to be strong for him it breaks my heart.
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Most don’t care , just about the money . Your the only one that can help your son , try and find a psychiatrist that has been referred to you by someone if not do a lot of research . Reach out to Nami . Educate yourself as much as you can about this illness and most of all show your son every day how much you love him and how much you are there for him as I find this is a big part of their healing … Hang in there …
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hi Mrsbigsky, sorry for the late reply I hope you and your family are well! It’s my brother. I live abroad now but my family is taking care of him. I’m going back this month but he has been quite delusional/lost in his own world for a while. Maybe you guys have some tips on how to handle this?
Boy, do I know what you mean. I have had holes in the walls re-sheetrocked and filled in holes in the ground, swept up broken glass, plates, hauled off broken furniture and seen and done things too horrible to mention. The hardest thing about dealing with a crazy person is keeping your own sanity. Today he got out of the mental hospital although I told them he wasn’t ready. I took him to the pharmacy to fill his scripts. There were many, including Viagara (seriously!) which insurance wouldn’t cover. He got angry because I wouldn’t buy the Viagra and started screaming, cursing and spitting on me at the Pharmacy. I am a 68 year old woman, 5’4” weight 115 lbs. He is a 35 year old man 5’9” 270 lb… I called the police and left him at the pharmacy. Didn’t know what else to do. Dear God, help me. I don’t know how much more I can take.
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The feeling of helplessness, the frustration of hitting brick walls wherever you turn, the anger, the shame and guilt, even though logically you know it’s not your fault, the loneliness as one-by-one your friends abandon you because his existence makes them uneasy, even though they try to be supportive for a while—or worse, the friends who call you co-dependent because you can’t seem to bring yourself to turn your back on him, no matter how badly he treats you.
He’s my only child. He was an addict long before he became sz, and there is a good possibility his symptoms would not be so bad but for the drugs. I have grieved the loss of my son for more than 20 years, but still have to contend with this man/child who hates my guts, but can’t make it without me. I wish I had some inspiring words of encouragement after 20 years, but I’m sorry, I don’t. It sucks and I don’t think there is anything good about it.
My mom was sz before they had even the first generation anti-psychotics. She did exhibit full blown psychosis until she was in her 50’s though and I was a young adult. It was very scary and traumatic for me but that was because I suddenly had responsibility for her and she was off her rocker. Once she got on Zyprexa the world changed for the better. As long as she stayed on her meds she was fine. As long as meds work and he stays on them, there is no reason he can’t be a good loving father. However, he has to be supervised when he is with them at all times and if there is any indication that he is heading down a rabbit hole, get the kids away from him until he stabilizes again.
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Today is New Years Eve and I feel that nothing is new. When my son has a good day, I forget about all the other crud and let my guard down and everything hits the fan. I started learning about mental illness when I was in my early 20s - after I married - now I’m 68. Not a year into marriage and I knew something was off but didn’t know just what. I thought my ex was just a spoiled only child but years later I found out that he’d been adopted so I had no idea of his family medical history. I knew nothing about his issues and by that time, my son had been born. When we divorced, his mother told his next wife that it was all my fault. She (his wife) would call me to talk after he’d thrown a carafe of coffee and grounds at the wall in their apartment. She finally told me what his mother said and that she knew I had nothing to do with it. She was my cohort in crime if I had to track my son down during the night; if he was released from a CSU and caught a bus for Savannah but now wanted to come home; she went with me to court hearings; made sure my ex paid his child support; worked two or three jobs after my ex went on disability; and on and on. She passed away three years ago from cancer and he remarried within six months. Now, his current wife understands him to be “needy.” Friends can no longer come to my house; I’ve gotten pretty good at sheetrocking but I also feel that I am no longer myself. My only child’s common sense is disappearing within the SZ but he believes he is always the one mistreated or held hostage, He can no longer follow directions and after repeated attempts to explain anything to him - it literally gets lost … just lost.
`sorry but this afternoon has been exhausting and I’m heading to bed. I hope we all have a better year in 2021 and wish you all the best. HUGS to all!
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Virtual hug to you. Wow. I thought I was the only one going through this horror show. We need to help each other find a way out. A way to live a good life. It’s not our fault and we can’t fix it or control it. I think we need to have boundaries. I just don’t know where or how to draw one.
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I’m so sorry. I never really had normal. I just didn’t know how bad it would get. I can’t imagine how awful to have it happen suddenly like that. My heart goes out to you.
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Thank you , praying for us all
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Thinking that is so cold overnight and my son is sleeping under a bridge.
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Thoughts and prayers for your son.
Loneliness. Being sad all the time, frustrated. Giving up on so much you don’t even care to list it otherwise I’ll just get depressed.
The main concern varies.
As a caregiver I tend to adapt to what’s needed in a particular situation.
It’s a symbiotic relationship.
Nowadays I would say that I’m not sure if that was how I was supposed to spend my life, taking care of my mother and having no life of my own. I’m not saying I regret being her ccaregiver. Because I don’t. But somehow taking care of her began as this one - though very important - thing I had to do, and turned into my full time occupation. Her illness and her needs took over my life and I’m grasping at straws here.
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@riseabove0073 Just ran across a post about your son. April will be a year for us since this nightmare started with our son as well, he is also the same age as yours. How is he doing?