A lot of help that might potentially be available to you and him depends on where you live. In most cases and in many states- you would first have to have legal guardianship of this person to be able to apply or use any of the services that might be available to help you. With guardianship you can secure disability income for him if he doesn’t have it already and with that comes Medicaid/Medicare which have additional service availability. Then you would be legally able to get him a full medical and psych eval (he may have multiple issues going on) and it would open up the possibility for you to then have in-home nursing and housekeeping assistance. It can be a tedious process, but possible. The only other solution I can think of would be to contact Adult Protective services and perhaps even your local probate court and find out what would need to be done to have him declared a ward of the state. Then the state would be his legal guardian and they would concern themselves with his most very basic legal rights and needs to live-which may not be maintaining where he lives now. You may also want to call your local NAMI office and see what they say. OR see if you have a Mental Health Ombudsman in your area…they are a conduit between the caregivers of the mentally ill and community services… I wish you both the best.
I have no legal power here, I am with this guy because I needed to share the roof. He doesnt recognize my existence though, let alone my attempt to have a two-person household here. Everything you said is very familiar, and such information shows up everywhere , not just here, but the point is everything you say here just dumps him into a system which already fails the people in it. He is ok and I am the wrong one, according to him. The same system ALSO severely threatened ME the CAREGIVER for caring too much and trying too much…according to them. Nobody is supposed to understand what schizophrenia really is, according to such system. My understanding of it is invalidated from the get go, by this dude AND the system. And I am supposed to just shut up and go away, according to same system. No help here because the invalidation, coercion, toxicity and shame and further isolation and despair they seem to hold out as the standard remedy, is off the table in our case. And this is not the first place I have reached out to, obviously, or I wouldn’t see that it’s just the same old well meaning but useless BS. NAMI and Schiz Annom are a BIGGGG part of the problem btw.
I’m her mother and she and her two small children live with me. I’m doing the best I can and I love my daughter and children but it’s very challenging. There are good and bad days but so far the good have outweighed the bad. About 3 days out of each month (just before her menses) she struggles with paranoia and delusions and often believes I’m trying to kill her. I think those 3 days of each month are the hardest for me to deal with. She is 33 years old and was diagnosed with sz at 19.
32 yr old daughter to 61 yr old father… suffered from brain injury when he was 30… never got to meet my father before brain damage and Schizophrenia illness
I am a mother and guardian for my son. My husband is secondary guardian.
My husband and I are the caretakers for my son. And we love him very much. Good,bad and ugly.
Girlfriend. My boyfriend is schizophrenic and it is difficult to find answers when you aren’t blood related
Don’t worry. Even if you are blood related and 100% financially supporting a family member who lives with you and requires daily care, the vast majority of providers will not talk to you or give you answers.
I agree with hereandhere. Even if you have guardianship you can’t get answers or sometime even a care meeting invitation. It’s sad. This site is a blessing and I love the resources the admin suggest.
Fiancée, soon to be wife.
I’ve mentioned a dozen or so times that they’re starting case management with my son at our county mental health support services office.
Not only did they try to talk him into signing a release so they could talk to me once his therapist figured out drugs were not the main problem, they allowed him to sign a release when he was willing during a meeting to set up case management even though it was clear he had no idea what he was agreeing to.
I guess they wanted me to be involved pretty bad - or they felt sorry for me.
Of course, he can always take it back at any time, but it does make me feel like these people really do care and they really are trying to help even if everything there moves at a snails pace.
That’s really nice that they did that. Whenever we find practitioners who are well versed in the needs of people with serious mental illness, they include us and first make sure the inclusion is acceptable to our family member.
Case managers at a county or regional health department. yes, these are professionals who most likely understand what our families are going through. I"m glad you found someone to work with your son.
My son, who is 30, and been back with us since 2013. Why all men get sz?
I use to care for my mom.
Hi Cleo, I just joined today. I notice that there are very few partners in caregiver support communities. I went to a NAMI group, and everyone there was a parent. Do you ever have difficulty feeling like others don’t understand your unique situation as a partner? I’ve really been struggling, and I’m interesting in hearing how other couples manage this terrain.
You mentioned that ‘low income therapy is worse than useless.’ Are there any universities near you that have a Master’s in Counseling program? Sometimes they have a clinic on site that offers therapy to the community at very reduced rates. Even though the therapists are students, they are supervised by very good therapists directly, and often are able to provide good service, despite their status. And sometimes you might actually get the professor, so they can model to the students. It’s worth looking into.
50yr old mom taking care of 32 yr old son with bpd and sz! I find it hard to talk to people other than on this site bc nobody seems to understand or even want to. They all think I should just have him committed!! That’s the most typical answer I get!
I and my fiance take care of his sister now. We are 35 and 36. His sister is 34. We are clueless and stuck. Tired and frustrated. Angry at the dishonesty and disrespectful way she treats me.
She was diagnosed September of this year.
My fiance doesn’t seem to accept it, or see issues where I do.
Their mother is also now under our care. She is schizophrenic as well. BUT has been under treatment for 30 years. She is in a good place. WE have to find a way to get power of attorney away from the sister as she is not sound enough to take care of herself.
I get that a lot from family. It hurts when my sister tells me when my son needs to be in the hospital like I wouldn’t know. It’s a sore spot between us.
Do the people who tell us to hospitalize our family members understand that that is nearly impossible to do?
I was shocked by the lack of medical care, non-response from doctors, and non-existence of resources when I first entered this world.
There are so few psychiatric beds that most people stay in the ER for days waiting. And then patients are rotated through the hospital quite rapidly and without follow up treatment.