Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

When everything feels like it is falling apart

#1

I feel sick and anxious because it feels like Schizophrenia is tearing everything apart. All the work and progress and energy that I have put in…it seems like it might end up being all for naught. It is so hard to be positive right now because I am just so exhausted. I know my family will never be a normal one, I just wish it wasn’t so much work to hold everything together. I have been working so hard for so long that I just want to let go… and logically, I know that it has been toxic for me… But I love my husband and my child so much and I have vowed not to let Schizophrenia scare me away from keeping this love alive.

I just wish SOMETHING was easy. Just one thing. Everything is on my shoulders and when things really start going down hill, I get so overwhelmed.

Hopelessness
#2

Sound like you need to find a quiet place just to breath and calm your mind

#3

i hope you are doing better today. :heart:
take care :alien:
p.s hamster :hamster: hug.

#4

While I am promising no miracles, I will say that I have seen many when pts are properly dx’d an medicated for their particular circumstances. This is far from always the case. (In fact, it might be mostly not the case in many parts of the so-called civilized world.)

One may need to find a board-certified psychopharmacologist who specializes in the psychotic disorders. One can find them at…
https://psychiatrists.psychologytoday.com/rms/

Then… Work with that p-doc to develop a medication formula that stabilizes your symptoms sufficiently so that you can tackle to the psychotherapy that will disentangle your thinking from reality effectively. The best of the therapies for that currently include…

DBT – http://behavioraltech.org/resources/whatisdbt.cfm
MBSR – http://www.mindfullivingprograms.com/whatMBSR.php
ACT – https://contextualscience.org/act
MBBT – https://www.newharbinger.com/blog/introduction-mind-body-bridging-i-system
10 StEP – http://pairadocks.blogspot.com/2015/04/the-10-steps-of-emotion-processing.html

…or standard CBTs, like…
REBT – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rational_emotive_behavior_therapy
Schematherapy – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schema_Therapy
Learned Optimism – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Learned_optimism
Standard CBT – http://www.beckinstitute.org/what-is-cognitive-behavioral-therapy/About-CBT/252/

What I am says is that there may be a lot more wiggle room out there than you know about right now. I learned the hard way that I could not afford to settle for Brand X.

#5

I would just like you to know that I am the spouse of a schizophrenic and every time “we” experience an episode I am afraid everything will fall apart to a state of being unrepairable. I say “we” even though he experiences them and I am the observer. I can clearly see the patterns, but he can only see them when the episode is waning. We both decided that we would attempt to function in love instead of fear: fear of losing him, our home, our future together, etc. But he forgets and disregards all these positive steps we are making the instant his episode begins. I am seeking all the advice from those who suffer the episodes on what you think is the most helpful thing I as a dedicated spouse can do during these episodes so that I do not cause them to escalate or do more damage emotionally by responding incorrectly. Does my reassuring him during his episodes register as a positive, or will anything I try to say translate as he puts it “an appeasement”? I would value anyone’s input or opinion on this as I feel like I am on the verge of losing him every time he pushes me away when he’s spiraling. When two or three days pass he comes back to a level state of mind and we can process information again, but until then it is very rocky, very scary, and I wonder what I will do if he actually follows through with all the threats he voices and if the underlying feelings are his true feelings or just defensive words when he thinks I’m hurting him. Based on your experience are you feeling like the persons who stand by you will walk away every time you have an episode? Is this fear real even after the episode ends? I cannot relate as I don’t know where the mind takes you when it goes there, but if this is a real fear for me I can only assume it’s very real for you. Thank you for sharing.

#6

  1. Read this: http://coda.org/index.cfm/meeting-documents/patterns-and-characteristics-2010/.

  2. Get and read this: http://www.amazon.com/Surviving-Schizophrenia-6th-Edition-Family/dp/0062268856.

  3. Find a local support group via NAMI at https://www.nami.org/.

  4. Get realistic about your spouses’ particular circumstances.

#7

I recommend finding some counselling for yourself.

I guess it was 6 months ago I finally had to acknowledge that I can’t handle everything. I’m now on a low dose of antidepressants and I have started seeing a counselor. It is such a relief even if it is only for 1 hour here and there, to have someone listen to me about me. We matter too. I’m trying really hard to stop taking on the responsibility of other people’s feelings or the consequences of their decisions.

#8

Thank you! I’ll definitely look into those links and continue working forward to discover a reasonable solution. I appreciate you taking the time to offer advice! :blush:

#9

I’ve been in therapy for a few years now. Although it is really helpful, right now is really hard because I am transitioning to a different therapist who specializes in EMDR, who is currently not back from being off work for a year… just another month though!

It is good to hear you are getting help and it is working. It is exceptionally difficult to not take on the problems of your loved ones… especially when you might have your own troubles to cope with, The desire to be supportive of my family is far greater than my desire to care for myself, which is something I’ve been working on.

Hope things work out for you! Thanks for responding. Every bit of effort someone else makes for my well-being is so valuable to me, So thank you for spending a moment to read my post and reach out! :two_hearts:

#10

Being overwhelmed is something that accompanies many sz’s. Of course, I’m sure you have a heavy burden of responsibility. Maybe you could get some help from your family. Try to get some support from them. Also, maybe if you took a break - went out to eat or to a movie, it would recharge your batteries.

#11

Thanks. A LOT has happened over the last day. I wouldn’t say I am better, but some feelings have been shuffled into the right places and I am hoping that things improve from here.