Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Where are all the fathers, husbands, etc?


#1

It seems that an overwhelming number of posters in the family section are women. Where are the male family members? You’ll see a boyfriend here and there but not many fathers or husbands. I wonder, why? Is it the general trend for men to not seek help or support?


#2

You are probably right, women tend to be more nursing.


#3

Even in this day and age, females tend to be the ones who wind up giving (and who are expected to give) emotional and other related support to family members that need it… So I’m not suprised that there’s a shortage of men posting in the family section.


#4

I think that partially explains it but also still as @mjseu says women tend to take on the caring role. I do know there were several men who posted in the parents section of the old forums but not sure if any came over to the new forums.


#5

It’s probably a combination of circumstances. If there is a father or husband in the picture they may be the one out working so it’s the female at home during the day and able to find resources like here. I’m guessing there are a lot of broken homes and generally kids stay with the mother when this happens. I also agree that maybe men don’t seek support the same if they are in a situation of being a caregiver.


#6

I was going to post that question!

Are women more anxious than men?


#7

Women are more likely to be anxious than men by a ratio of roughly 2:1 but levels of anxiety pre puberty ,although still higher in girls, are more even.


#8

For me, that raises the question, would people with sz like more balanced support? From their male relatives, as well as female? Or do they in fact get just as much support from their male relatives as from the female ones? My DH is supportive to me, and provides all the funds, free time etc for my support of my son (whose bio father doesn’t help him at all).


#9

I found that neither my father or mother took on an active caring role when I became ill. Whereas my father was more reserved but contradictory ,ie treated me as though much younger than my age v telling me that most people of my age not in education would be in work and paying keep so to hand over over half my benefits, my mother was much more vocal but in a highly neurotic way. Neither were particularly supportive despite educating themselves as much as was possible in the mid 70s.


#10

I’m a father and personally I don’t think I do too well, so I don’t talk about it. Besides my father was never there for me either.


#11

My father was in a pretty bad state when we were young but he got much better as he got older and we all forgave all his past “misdeeds” because we understood he didn’t intend to do any harm and for his last twenty years, things were pretty good! He died at 83.


#12

i think in our society it is seen as unmasculine to ask for advice or help. which is stupid.


#13

My parents are still married to each other. Both of my parents have stood by me and been on my side, but it’s my Mom who went to support group and has been more vocal about support and help.

My Dad is a fairly open man… but even he has a limit. He’s been there for me, but he’s much more quiet person.

During the worst of times for me… my Mom was the mover and shaker, my Dad was more stoic.

Plus, my Dad worked a heap more back then so Mom could be on the sub list and have more chance to stay home with me…

yes, even 10 -15 years ago, male teachers made more money then female teachers even working in the same school dist.


#14

Bcz women are expressive


#15

My daughters father is an alcoholic and not in her life. She is 25 and this piece of her identity is missing. He hasn’t seen her in about 3 years. The last time he saw her was when she was just released from a drug/alcohol treatment facility and he picked her up and she stayed with him 4 days and he bought her a bottle of vodka and let her get drunk. Before that it was about 10 years since he last saw her. I hope she doesn’t end up like her father. I feel she would do much better if he was a good father and had his support but that will never be.


#16

Im afraid that there are a lot of broken homes. My ex and I never agreed on my son-even when he was small. My son doesnt get along well with his father. I know that my son would have done better if our whole family had stuck together on his issues–divorced or not. This disease split my family apart way after the divorce.
I know that my ex and his wife think I overreact and that Im too emotional. True enough. I think that I have always been compensating for my exhusbands lack.
Well, anyone that had to work fulltime and take care of 2 other kids ( who didnt get what they needed from me because my son was an emergency ) would probably be a little emotional. Sorry, I can feel some stuff coming up that wasnt intended. Do not want to start ranting…


#17

Both my parents helped me. My whole family (I have two older sisters too) used to be in family group therapy.
It was therapy/support for multiple families at once. Us and one or two other families. Other fathers came too. We did that every Tuesday night for a year.

Just a side note: I have seen more than one person on here say that they have a hard time following conversations or understanding what people are saying while they are talking. I was in this family group around 1987. Everybody had to talk. For about half the time I was in this group I could not for the life of me follow or understand conversations. Even when my own family talked. Conversations would go on for 1-5 minutes and then they would ask me what I thought about it or what I had to say but I had no idea of what was just said. People would talk to me or each other and I would just get lost. It wast very frustrating to me. I’ve heard other people describe this and I just want to say it was a temporary thing. After the group disbanded I found after a short while that I could follow conversations again. But for a awhile it was a a big problem.


#18

my dads been very supportive and helpful. he has a tendency to not be able to accept the things he cant control and stresses over it. he also prefers to pay people to take care of important matters rather than be hands on, but i know he cares


#19

My ex-husband is pretty much in complete denial and has no idea what this diagnosis means. My ex and my daughter have a limited relationship-she finds him difficult to deal with. My husband and my daughter have a good relationship and he is very supportive. He probably would consider going to a support group, he is a big believer in support groups, counseling and all of that-but he has his own issues to deal with-recovery from a TBI and PTSD and sometimes that makes things more difficult-he does need to focus on that because he needs to get better too. I think he would join something like this if I made him feel like it was okay with me, and I didn’t need it as my own private “space.”