Days like today are hard on me and I am sure, other carers too. You log into facebook, for example, and many of your friends have left glorious tributes (often with pics) to their wonderful fathers filled with love and admiration for the man who raised them to be successful, healthy adults. Likewise, their husbands who are wonderful men at raising their own children.
This is the first year that I have not sent my 80 yr old father a Father’s Day card. In the past, I’ve always done that, along with a gift, only falsely wanting to “thank” him for being much short of a wonderful father. When choosing a card, I’d always find one with the mildest message.
How do you “thank” someone for years of emotional neglect? For all the times he was not there to comfort me, keep us afloat and out of homelessness, and now, forgetting to send a card on my own birthday, at Christmas, or the birthdays of my child (his grandchild)?
Ilness may be the diagnosis, and therefore, the reason, for it all. But it doesn’t lessen the pain of having a parent, spouse, sibling or child who just can’t seem to connect with you.
Just letting it off my chest.