Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

26 yr daughter newly diagnosed, need some advice


#1

My 26yr daughter was diagnosed with “Paranoid Schizophrenia” from a Psychiatrist 2 weeks ago, during her 9 day stay in the Psych Hosp. Her hosp stay was her 2nd stay in the Psych hospital with the same symptoms this yr, her previous stay was in March. Because both hosp stays happened approx 6mths apart with he same symptoms (psychosis, paranoia, etc) she was given the diagnosis.

She has 4 kids (age 7yr and under), who are in dcfs care (they were placed in care March 2015). The fathers are/were criminals, 2 kids have fathers in the U.S, 2 kids dont. My daughter wants to get her kids back and live happily every after. I know thats not possible, she is unaware she has been neglecting her kids emotional, physically etc for yrs. She jumps form man to man, in order to survive.

My daughter has a very long history of mental illnesses, she was in a short term residential mental hosp for 6mths, she was their longest staying patient, coz they did not know how to help her when she was a teen, it was the first time any medication worked (Abilify), but the hospital didnt titrate her meds up, and then she was sent home, she refused to take her meds. The residential facility didnt want to give her any long term labels/diagnosis that fall under “personality disorders” because she wasnt 18yr at the time. She exhibits many symptoms that fall under borderline, histrionic, anti social, she also has left and right brain hemisphere impairment/brain damage and learning disabilities. She has had bizarre symptoms for many many yrs, she is defiant and doesnt seem to have a conscience or empathy or shame, (she sees nothing wrong with having 4 kids to 3 diff guys, all 1-2yr apart), she seems like she has bipolar, she cannot form healthy relationships. She has always had very poor personal hygiene, she hoards in case of catastrophe, she is an habitual liar. She has always said im the crazy one, and that she isnt sick. From age 4yr old, she would stare right through a person when being spoken to (like a death stare, with no emotion), I have been asked many times over the yrs if she was deaf. schools labels her a strong willed stubborn child. I dont know whether all of her symptoms, all along were mild schizophrenia or not.

My question is what sort of support is out there in the community for people with Schizophrenia? My daughter has burned bridges with her family members, and we are all so worn out from her. I have called NAMI and will be meeting with them tomorrow.

My daughter recently lost her job because of her hospital stay (she couldnt call in sick during her hosp stay). I now realize she most likely will not be able to hold down a full time job due to her illness. She is living with a new boyfriend. He knows about her diagnosis, but expects her to make a full recovery now that she is medicated and sedated, meaning he expects her to get a job (she has been out of the hosp less than 2 weeks). She being released from hosp 2 weeks ago she has had to attend a dcfs meeting, a she had to go to her work and hand in a sick note only to get fired, she has a dcfs court hearing this week = too much stress.

I have a 23yr son with schizo-typal and avoidance personality disorders, and a 21yr son who has severe a.d.h.d who is very narcissistic. Both boys self medicate with alcohol and marijuana. I am wondering when or if should I tell them about their sisters diagnosis? Both seem to live in their own world of troubles. I am scared they will self medicate and the schizo typal kid may trigger a psychotic episode of his own. My daughter is ashamed of her diagnosis, I have suggested to her that we let her brothers know about it (my kids are unaware of each other mental health diagnosis). She said she will tell her brothers herself, (she wont, she has a hard time following through with simple tasks).

Our whole family have been estranged from my daughter for over 10yrs, Because of my daughters long term undiagnosed mental illness, I have only swooped in to save the day each time my daughter has had her babies and during hospital stays, other then that i have kept my distance from her. This time, she has a diagnosis, so I want to help from a distance, eg: calling NAMI. Im physically disabled, but my options are limited. Im looking forward to hearing from you veterans :smile:


#2

As I’m sure you know, working on your daughter’s illness is a full time job. Try to blame the illness and not the person if you can. Meeting with NAMI is a very positive step. You might want to impose rules on your daughter which if she follows you will help her out with what things she needs help with. Be firm. Try to find what kinds of assistance will make your daughter more mindful of your parental authority and which she needs or wants. You are probably doing these things already, but maybe you can step up the process. Getting on this site is good. There are sites for caregivers that are also good. They might have more insight than I.


#3

**Welcome to the forum!
i can only give you my opinion.
There is no reason to tell your sons. At this point, you need a lot of support-good that you are going to NAMI.
It might be best to just stay away from your daughter for now-it doesn`t sound like you can do anything to help her right now.
I really feel for those children!
You have a lot on your plate, and the more support you can get-the better!
There are no easy answers, but I think you should focus on yourself and family…and those kids if you are having anything to do with them.
Take care of yourself :bouquet: **