Twenty years have passed since my brother got schizophrenic.
All those years I fought together with him. Me and my sister and parents went through many sleepless nights, spent many days in tears, visited doctors together with him many times too, thought about his medications, side effects, his well being. We put so much into his health and his life that again, many times we had to sacrifise our own life and needs in order to help him do better. I remember times, for example, when for two years at least I went to see him every day after work, to spend afternoon with him instead of going to visit my friends that I missed or do sports or other things that I loved. We let our parents home completelly to him, we surpported him finantially etc.
In one word, we did a LOT for him, to make him have a life that is “normal” as much as it could be with such illness.
Recently, he got married (we also arranged for him to meet his wife at the first place) and I was very very happy to see him in a relationship. All was well until my husband (who is not a person of a greatest character) insulted him and his wife, saying a few bad things about them. I was very angry with my husband, I got really nasty to him, but I could not devorce him for that particullar reason because our children, my daughters love my husband dearly. Instead, I apologised to my brogher and his wife and they accepted my apologies, but not for too long.
My brother, for whom I sacrified half of my life, beacause he gets subtelly paranoid from time to time, now accuses me of being an ally to my husband in that matter, not respecting him and his wife and trying to control them too (the controling bit is comletelly paranoid).
Now, when I went to visit him and tried to talk to him to explain that my husband and I are not the same person and that I do not share opinions of my husband, but I do have to live with him because of our children, my brother did not want to listen (in a typical schizophrenic manner he was convinced he can read from my eyes), threw me out of the house, he pushed me and when I turned to convince him again he pushed me down a starecase. I fell, I did not get injured and when I woke up he pushed me again and just closed the door behind me - explianing to his wife that nothing happned (as she was coming to see me).
He did get aggressive from time to time before, he hit my late father few times, but he never pushed me so violently - so I could break something.
I am very hurt, of course. I know he is always a little paranoid (it never went away completelly), and he seems like on a verge very often. But his anger would usually pass away and when I would call him or visit him after, he would be ok again. This time though, I guess he was fighting for the pride of his wife too, he pushed me with no remorse.
What should I do? Should I stop communicating with him until he understnads he hurt me? Should I get offended or take this incident as a part of the illness? If I go again to talk to him I am afraid he whould do the same thing.
I am very sad now, as I did really so very much for him, much more than a sister would do for a brother in trouble and I still want to help him, but do not know how to go about the thing that happened.
I am sorry for the long post, if anyone gets to the end of it - please advice…