You know how it is. You listen to a lot of stuff that you would rather not hear, but you don’t challenge the psychosis because what’s the point? But sometimes you really want to, because it is making YOU crazy…
Last weekend we had a tough day, and I lost it. A little bit. I had had my fill, and I left. After a while we did some texting, and even tho it seems pointless I challenged the delusional thinking, saying point blank - these things are not true. That is your illness talking.
And…
I haven’t heard any mention of these things for the last 5 days. Was it just the right time for him to hear these things?
I find it almost impossible to differentiate between my illness, myself and others (and the world around me) have a hard time communicating
I know that is how schizophrenia is experienced, which is why it can be so hard to address - if it is experienced as real, how can I argue against it? What seems far-fetched to me seems real to him. That’s why I typically don’t challenge his beliefs.
Who is “him”? But I feel the same way, I mean, who is an authority (a real one, not god, buddha, or whatever, though I respect all these) on what’s real and what’s not? Don’t drug me up, put me away and say the things im seeing/experiencing aren’t real. That’s what sparkles revoultion (and Im ready for one, lol, or more, lol) this man-against-man mentality is the source of all fucking evil.
In a tribal society, sz’s would, in most cases, be respected and acted as counselor-type-things (shamans/jedi, in a more understandable definition)
As have come to see it, I feel the world is the schizophrenic and I’m only the victim (though I don’t like to see/experince myself as one) of this world.
The whole, "it’s solely a chemical imbalance-thing-viewpoint I disagree with, strongly, but also the whole "new age-yadda-pleadians.annunaki-god.shit is just as much a load of crap.
If we were seen as, and experienced as, “extra-ordinary” people, this illness would be much more beneficial and productive than the-Social-outcast-madman/women-western viewpoint.
“Him” is my son.
I entertain all kinds of alternative views and possibilities in and about the world, and am open to discuss any number of things. It is some of the paranoid and delusional beliefs, and accusations about things that I am supposedly doing that make life difficult for him and for me.
Living angry and unhappy and lonely is not a great way to live.
Sometimes the things he says are so extra-ordinarily insightful, it blows me away. I would hate to lose that about him.
I know it’s nearly impossible, but try not to take the things personally. No one with this illness, consciously wants to blame anyone of it (other than us/them-selfes, which makes it twice as difficult.
Right. Most of the time I can handle it fine. Just sometimes… it gets a bit… much. Being only human, sometimes it gets under my skin. Mostly tho, we just wade through it together until we get to the other side.
I’m just surprised is all, because I really didn’t expect any change to come from what I said - because I understand that it is his reality. And we haven’t had a hiatus of this long from some of these particular expressions of his beliefs for some time.
You sound like a very strong and amazing parent.
Sometimes I wonder how my parents did/do it without cracking.
Positive reinforcement goes very far for me.
Much respect.
**Hi @valleypenne~
Sometimes I have done the same thing–its hard to keep it together sometimes. My son does the same with me-and will not hear ANYTHING that pertains to his illness. You never know what will sink in. My son seems to have a bottomless pit. I just sent a post about guardianship-Im thinking about it.
Don`t be hard on yourself. Your are probably taking it harder than your son is. **
I think it’s ok to point out that something does not seem possible. I do do it with my son depending on where he is at. I tell him that I think he is experiencing delusional thinking if I think he can handle hearing it.