Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Advice needed please


#1

My daughter has schizaphrenia this is all new to me she is taking college classes two days a week she has a A in one class falling the other she doesn’t think she is though what should I do take her out of classes or? She’s is also not taking her meds and hearing voices again when though she won’t admit it she is talking and not making sense and is being mean I am lost I don’t know what to do I don’t have power of attorney so my hands are kinda tired she thinks nothing is wrong but I can tell she is getting sick again I’m so worried and just don’t know what to do


#2

Im am not going to shock you talking about my 24 year old daughter while in collage… From my perspective, many SZs are adversely effected in social environments like collage, it makes them worse with the increased stress.

Given she is an adult and you are familiar with the legal process, in my opinion there is nothing you can do unless she violates the law or tries to harm herself or others. . Others here will give different advise.


#3

Daf,

When did you find out she had scz? Since its all new to you, have you had a chance to learn much about the illness?

Can you check to see if there is a NAMI organization where you live? If they have a support group, the people in the group can help you talk decisions out, if you would like that sort of help.

Does your daughter understand that she has a mental illness? Does she live at home with you? Has she said why she is not taking her meds?

Does she want to stop attending school? Hope.


#4

She doesn’t think she has this illness she was diagnosed October 2015 yes I am a part of Nami but they just started here in my town and there is no support groups


#5

No she doesn’t think she is failing but she is last exam she got a 17 out of 60 I have her in her own house she works three days a week I can tell she is getting ill again she not really making sense I just don’t know what to do there is no one in my town I can talk to her doctor is on a 5 inch screen there is no help here for mental illnesses


#6

Is that why she won’t take her meds - because she believes she isn’t ill?

How is she doing at work?

You might want to consider letting her continue with school since she is already signed up and wants to continue.


#7

Yes she believes she isn’t ill and but if she if failing still let her continue and work she can only work three days more than that she is stressed out


#8

its so difficult, everything stresses them out.


#9

I want her to sign up on disability but she won’t


#10

and to do it without her you probably need guardianship My son agreed to let me apply for him after refusing for quite a while.


#11

I might suggest looking at her college’s deadline dates. The last day to withdraw from classes is usually about a month or so away from now- however, she may not receive any money back if it reaches the last deadline date. Not sure if that is an issue. However, since she has a diagnosis, she might be able to appeal and get some money back, haven’t had to look into that before but wouldn’t mind looking for you if you need any assistance. Colleges are getting much better at trying to be proactive about this with freshman having to take mandatory guidance classes (sometimes a semester long and still fulfill requirements). But each institution is different.

College is a time when this often happens, if it’s going to happen ( that jump into early adulthood, going into the military and moving out of mom and pops can all be situational circumstances).

If it were me, and I knew then what I know now…I’d probably withdraw and let her focus on the class she is doing well in. Eliminate as much stress as possible.

Hugs


#12

Not easy… Best of luck, hope some of these suggestions help…


#13

I feel for you. My daughter was diagnosed in 2009. She’s 29 and has been living and home since 2010. She stopped taking her meds two years ago and lied about it every time I asked.
She kept getting worse and lost a lot of weight and eventually began having auditory and visual hallucinations. It came to a head two+ weeks ago and she knew she needed help. She voluntarily agreed to go to the ER for a crisis evaluation. Fortunately we found a bed in a facility and just got out Monday. She still needs some more time and a med adjustment, but we are hopeful she will be able to live independently in the next year.
Does your daughter have a trusted friend who could confront her about her meds or behavior?
Unfortunately, stopping meds seems to be a common problem. My daughter became angry at me and everything I did or said was wrong. She had even begun to call me by my first name.
Now, she’s well on her way back to being her sweet self and even let’s me hug her again. Hearing her say ‘I love you Momma’ is welcome sound. She hasn’t told me that in over 9 months.

Try to talk her into an appt with the doctor. …“just to see what they think”. I know it’s hard.


#14

Hi Hope - How did you get your son to agree to let you apply for him and did you have get guardianship in order to do that? My son will not admit he has the illness at this point, in addition, he won’t talk to me. He will, however, read texts and emails and sometimes I can get a few comments to him in person. Sometimes he responds, sometimes he does not. Thank you! Diane


#15

Hi Daf,

My son was diagnosed about 4 months ago, he has not accepted it yet nor will he take meds. He did, however, take Chinese herbs for about 8 months which seemed to help a bit. He stopped taking them and things got worse. We got them from a Chinese Herb Doctor here in Boulder. They need to see you in person and do a whole health evaluation. My hairdresser’s son is bi-polar and hears voices if he doesn’t take his herbs. I think it’s ok to post the link to our doctor. Here it is in case you want to take a look - maybe there is someone where you live who you could see if you want to consider that. I also have an energy worker in MI who told me my son needed folic acid as he is not absorbing folic acid. Here is the link to Chinese Herb Doctor. http://stillwaterhealthboulder.com/charles-site/

Best of luck - I am finding we are not alone and there are many people affected with this.

Diane


#16

Also, I accidentally posted a question about getting on disability in the forum for people who have schizophrenia and one person told me to try to help him realize that not thinking you’re sick is part of the mental illness he has. Which I thought was pretty good advice.


#17

Hi DianeR,

My son wanted the healthcare and gave me permission to apply for him. You don’t need to have guardianship to help them apply. I didn’t talk about the disability a lot, I mainly spoke with him about the healthcare and how he could have food stamps (SNAP) if he had ssi and ssdi. He really likes having a SNAP card. If they get ssi, they will qualify for medicaid, after being disabled for two years, they qualify for medicare and medicaid.


#18

Thank you. I was planning on making an appointment with them. Good idea not to talk about the benefits. Thanks for the tip!


#19

My son was the same way at first. In fact, I had an appointment and brought my binders in and son said he didn’t needed it. He only needed a loan so he could start his business. He did have to be hospitalized and I filed guardianship while he was there.


#20

I wish I could give you a huge hug!! :hugs:
I’m in the same situation as you are (although they’re all a little different I’m sure) my fiancé has schizoaffective disorder (schizophrenia/bipolar/ADHD). One big difference is that my mother had it and so does my youngest brother so I had a little bit of experience with it and knew somewhat what to expect. I didn’t realize that they can manifest in completely different ways. My mother thought everyone was out to get me and my younger brothers, so mostly she was just extremely over-protective (and maybe just a little crazy). So I was completely shocked and taken aback when his psychosis named me the enemy. I’ve never been anyone’s enemy! I had no idea that that could even be a manifestation! It was really hard to learn that aspect of things. No one had ever called me a whore, or stupid, or evil. He goes into a complete shame spiral once he is himself again. He knows how much he has hurt me and does everything he can to make it up to me because he is a beautiful soul.
During those times that he’s not himself, I look at pictures and videos of times when he is himself. It reminds me that this person that looks at me with suspicion and disgust is still him, but it’s the person any of us would be if we saw the “truths” that they see. I watch him when he isn’t looking at me and I see how much he struggles to act normal because that’s all he wants. He just wants to be normal so that we can be happy and he can show me how special I am to him.
I’ve gotten damn good at my poker face. I’ve learned that you never say that everything is just in his head. I ask questions instead of giving knee jerk answers (i.e. “did you hear someone walking up the stairs?”
“Let me go see if someone is there” or “will you come with me to look”). I don’t get annoyed or angry when the accusations start up (most of the time) I ask for dates when things supposedly happened or I look up my location on google maps to see where I was. Of course none of this is foolproof. This disease is like a virus and it adapts when it isn’t managed. The thing that worked last month may not work this time. (Like google, I made the mistake of giving him access to my gmail so that he could track me not really thinking about times when I’m out of cell range therefore “unaccounted for”).
Patience and counseling. Those are the things that work the best. And sometimes a vacation from him. That may sound awful but, you need it.
I wish you luck! Also, please keep in mind that antipsychotic medications take time to really start working, so don’t get discouraged if something seems like it’s working and then it’s doesnt anymore.