Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Advice on Boyfriend


#1

So I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for about 6 months maybe less. He is really nice to me, he’ll drive my car because he has a better memory and focus. He hands me stuff when I can’t find them, you know, I notice the little things. He always makes me feel welcome and included. His mom lets me come to their house all the time, and it doesn’t seem an issue that I’m at their house a lot. I’d invite him over to my house more but my mom can be paranoid. He understands. He also has schizoaffective disorder, like me. He just ran out of his prescription for Clozaril and they are not refilling it or something about paperwork because it’s on a watch list for side effects. But he really likes it, and said it helps him the most. It’s true he’s very focused on it.

My psychiatrist told me I have high insight into my illness. I talk to him about this stuff but I think it makes him kind of uncomfortable sometimes. But he talks a lot about his past experiences and I like being there for him.

I just don’t know what to do when he gets delusional. I don’t know because I can’t talk him out of his delusions, and he still gets them from time to time on his medication. He just ran out a few days ago. He seemed to quickly start saying more delusional things. It makes me wonder if his medication works as well as mine. But he said what I take made him depressed. He also struggles with depression, where I have more of mania.

I really love my boyfriend, but sometimes I wonder if he likes me the same way. I’m glad I’m with him but sometimes I think we overwhelm each other. We spend a lot of time together. I don’t want him to leave me for someone else. He said he wants to keep dating, but sometimes we don’t connect while other times we connect a lot more.


#2

relationships are a lot to do with give and take and realizing that everyone needs their personal space.
i am really happy that you have a boyfriend but i would not worry about a problem that you have not come up against yet.
that is like driving down a road and wondering if their will be an accident further along ! it is good to be aware but not to over think, sometimes when we do this we can sabotage our selves/relationship .
go with the flow.
here endith the wisdom from dark sith.
take care


#3

I think its marvelous that youve found someone who has the same condition. I wish I personally knew schizophrenics, but I dont. I have dated a girl since i became scz, only for like 3 dates, and I was dreading having to tell her at some point. She’s quit responding to my texts, so i guess i wont have to :smile:

But on anther note, this condition we have can make us behave strangely. I would make medication the priority, I am super pro-psychiatry because I am in remission due to medication, and I was one hell of a schizophrenic before my meds made me think clearly. I was the angry, aggressive type, which is rare, but i must admit I felt like I was on LSD and cocaine.

But not to ramble about myself, I would just keep a perspective…for example, does his delusion guided behavior have lasting consequences? Does it keep him from doing what needs to be done? A little crazy is just fine, it’s when it really effects behavior that it becomes a problem. And feeling a little disconnect is probably just something you should expect. I dont mean to be rude, but schizophrenia is all about having a completely unique (delusional, hallucinatory) view of reality, so your worlds probably will feel father apart when he’s suffering from delusions. I think that these sorts of obstacles test people’s feelings for one another- it clarifies if problems you have or your concern for one another is stronger.


#4

It alarmed me when you said that your boyfriend ran out of his Clozaril. This is very, very dangerous. You can’t stop and start Clozaril like that. It can be life threatening as it needs to be titrated very slowly eg you can’t stop for a few days then go back to the same dosage. Please get him to his doctor immediately.


#5

Yeah his mom is worried. Is the withdrawal literally life-threatening because I asked him and he didn’t know that. He just knows it’s on a watch list. He’s been ok so far but he said when he withdraws it’s horrible, and last time they didn’t fill his prescription for a month and he got a lot worse.


#6

StarryNight, you are with him a lot. Help him to plan ahead next time. It wouldn’t be to hard to work out something between you so that you know when he is running low on his meds and you can remind him to refill his prescription. And keep double-checking to make sure he follows through.


#7

My son is on Clozaril. I know they monitor things pretty closely. I worry about what will happen if he has a negative blood work result as if that happens they won’t refill his prescription and coming off it cold turkey is not good. I think having him talk to his pdoc about having a contingency or back up medication for when this happens would be a good idea. Different medications work differently and what works well for one person may not work so well for another. Clozaril has a mood stabilizing aspect. One thing I did learn about getting blood work done for Clozaril is to not have it done first thing in the morning. My son has to be up and moving around for a bit or the results can register a little low so we get it done in the afternoon now.