Me and my boyfriend haven’t been dating long but have been close for over a year and I’ve felt with his episodes has a friend but this is the first time since we’ve been dating and i dont know if I should help differently
It was very different for me when I went from a friend (of a year and a half) to dating. I was way more sheltered to what was going on during the times that he didn’t show up to things I normally saw him at and his son saying that he doesn’t feel well vs. seeing him every day and knowing what is going on and what he was going through. At first, he would push me away during his bad days and break up with me. Six months later though and I’ve figured out that he was doing that because he didn’t want to scare me away or say mean things to me accidentally. And also, now even though he pushed me away, I didn’t leave when he told me to leave. I sat in the driveway in my car, and waited. That way if he truly wanted space, then he had space but he could also see that I was there for him, that I still loved him, that I’m supportive of him. Once I started doing that our relationship changed for the better, and he’s stopped pushing me away. Sometimes, during those bad days he says mean things but I know that he loves me and if it’s actually something real then I try to work on the issue, but if it’s just his delusions then I don’t worry about it. And sometimes when he’s having a more functional bad day where he still leaves the house, he will say something mean and I will momentarily be upset because it caught me off guard, but then if I mention later in the day that he got mad over something earlier, neither one of us can remember what he actually said and was “mad” about. So, we laugh it off and forget about it.
One thing I’ve noticed though is his son tries to manage his dad’s emotions and tiptoe around him on his more functional bad days.
Keep in mind that everybody is different. I recommend a lot of patience and understanding. Trust him enough to tell you what he needs from you.
Your boyfriend sounds similar to my boyfriend when it comes to his schizophrenia.
I just created this profile 2 minutes ago while researching about my boyfriend’s condition. Being naïve about this didn’t help things by thinking I knew what it meant when he said he had schizophrenia. TODAY I decided to get real about loving him, and everything that comes with it by learning as much as I can about his condition. Right now, he is going through the hardest episode since we started dating and I want to learn how to help and being supportive in a healthy way for both of us.
Well you can get a heck off a lot of information here just by reading all the post…
Id love to hear ur testimony on having a child with ur husband/boyfriend some day. I would love to hav a child with my boyfriend & i know he would b an awesome dad, but am realistic with his schizophrenia.