Hi everyone. I’ll try to resume our situation as best as I can, please if you could take some time to read and hopefully offer any advice, it would mean the world to me.
My mother has always battled with her mental health, mostly undiagnosed. She was very successful and financially independent, which I believe contributed to the delay in noticing something wasn’t right. My mother always went to private practices and if she didn’t like what she heard, she’d just move on to the next one.
Long story short, in the mid 00s she truly began to unravel. I often wonder if the shock of me moving out as a teenager caused it, but deep down I know I left because she was already too difficult, I just didn’t know why. In 2010 came her first hospitalization, but she wasn’t diagnosed with schizophrenia, just that she suffered a psychotic episode. By then her business was in shambles and coupled with the financial crisis, it folded in 2011, when she was 50. She’s never worked since.
After many twists and turns, we finally managed to get her hospitalised this year in a better, specialised hospital. She’s been diagnosed with schizophrenia, has been released and is currently attending the hospital daily, where they do exercise, gardening, CBT, etc. She’s enjoying it. She’ll also be having injections from now on and if she doesn’t show up, they’ll pick her up.
The problem: my mother is in a homeless shelter. She refuses to go back to our hometown and wants to stay where she is, but I can’t afford to buy or rent a flat there. It’s an expensive city. The social worker in this current city says that without any income or family to take her in (my brother lives there but refuses), her future there will be the homeless shelter and later on, a nursing home. I live in the UK, away from everyone.
My question is, I don’t know what to do. I was thinking maybe I can pay for a bedsit there, but what will happen once she inevitably starts creating problems with neighbours? Not to mention the financial strain it will place on me. My brother wants her back in our hometown because it’s small and safe, but I fear this is just putting a strain on her mental health even more, it’s rural, she has no friends left and she’s aware she’s been mistreating people when she’s ill. In a big city at least she has plenty of activities/volunteering places and won’t carry that deep shame she feels. My mother is only 60, I truly feel we’re watching her slip away from us. I fear she’ll end on the streets or die.
I don’t know, I’m so lost. I’ve been crying every day for the past month, I can’t see any viable solution. We can’t afford private residential care and my brother refuses to buy her a place anywhere but my hometown.