I’ve recently been realizing my sibling is in a constant cycle of trauma a lot of it occurring over the last 7 years since my mom passed
In and out of jail hospitals homeless etc I believe he experienced some sexual trauma will being homeless.
And recently he’s in a constant state of thinking that he’s being raped in his home being drugged and raped .
Today was hard I wasn’t able to answer his phone call .when he called he left a message while he was attempting to make a phone call to rain sexual assault because he comes off somewhat aggressive the woman just kept saying I can’t keep being on the phone with you if you’re going to cuss and,
he kept saying please connect me to a counselor I’ve been raped with a few cuss words thrown in.
This is so hard to hear from afar I feel like unless we are literally side by side with our loved ones sometimes to advocate for them there’s no way they can get through life people just don’t understand! people who aren’t trained immediately try to shut him down.
I called 988 tonight to see if they could call him back and talk to him but they’re not allowed to I got a few other local sexual assault numbers and I talked to him and gave him the numbers as I thought he wouldn’t call them he’s too afraid that they might lead to a welfare check.
So I made the ultimate decision to just let him ride this one out ,
Anybody have any quick tips on trauma cycle or how to respond to somebody who’s in a trauma cycle I know nami is now offering a course I just haven’t had time to take it yet
IDK, would you call it trauma or constantly being in crisis or both? Who does he think is raping him? On the other site some people think they’re being raped by spirits or demons or other entities. Does he think these are real people sneaking into his home and raping him?
At this point I believe it’s trauma, I guess I consider crisis to be when he’s in psychosis or in danger of going to jail, the hospital when he’s been homeless.
He believes it’s people breaking in at night and drugging him he has actually been to urgent Care multiple times to be tested for the drug GHB I think they finally took him serious the last time he went in he is waiting on results.
I just wanted to say I’m glad that I waited he seems to have had a much better day yesterday he was even able to go with a couple of people he knows and work for them doing some odd jobs carpet cleaning and the yard. I consider that a really good day for him.
megmeg, I am wondering if what you are describing as your brother experiencing as trauma, could be him experiencing vivid and terrifying hallucinations.
My son had vivid molestation and sexual abuse hallucinations that resulted in him contacting RAINN to report my husband and I for sexual abuse. We once received a call from our sheriff’s office while we were sleeping. The deputy said my son was calling 911 and accusing us of sexually abusing him “through - '“I don’t remember the name”” When I said “I don’t know what that is” The officer said that it was a video game. I apologized to the officer and he asked me to please have my son stop calling 911. I called my son and told him the sheriff’s office had called and could he stop calling 911. He was quite pleased I had received the call, he must have felt heard.
We can’t break any of their cycles. Schizophrenia cycles all on its own. They may be able to learn some ways to avoid psychosis, but we don’t have any way to control schizophrenia.
We didn’t cause it, we can’t cure it and we can’t control it.
If we are very lucky we can get to a place where everyone can cope with it.
My son has delusions that landed him in jail for alledgingly breaking a window. What you are describing sounds much like what I’ve experienced as a SZ caregiver. So I also am desperate to find a cure for him.
When I had him I was trying keto. I also have heard Clozapine is more effective for psychosis, but the medical establishment requires patients to fail on two atypical antipsychotics before insurance will cover the clozapine treatment. It requires a lot of regular blood tests until they are confident it is safe for the patient.
Things you COULD do or try
Somehow get him on a medical insurance plan.
Get him to a good health care provider. Maybe get him to voluntarily go into a behavior hospital. If you can make a case he is a danger to himself or others you could involuntarily ask the court to put him in. We did both of these and they did not make him better, but it does produce a documentary history that could be important, and could start him on a pattern of treatment, and result in an official diagnosis.
Try to keep close tabs on him. You might be able to keep him out of some trouble. The more time you can spend with him and learn his behaviors the better. The more trust you can develop and cultivate with him will likely result in more cooperation with your efforts. This is difficult. These are very difficult people. At the same time you have to prioritize your safety as first.
Recruit anybody that has cared about him to help you. These patients freak people out and everyone distances themselves.
Get him to sign a medical release or power of attorney for you. This can allow you to work with Healthcare providers that otherwise block family participation due to HIPPA laws and individual rights.
Be strong. When I feel so frustrated, it helps me to realize I am SAD because of the curse on him. Make friends with being sad.
I wish you and your brother all the good fortune. I hate this disease and I resent the medical industry and league system for leaving these people to twist in the wind. They will spend hudreds of thousands of dollars to cure a 75 year old cancer patient but they largely abandon these patients by thier meager efforts. I hope we can change this.
It could be real trauma that is perpetuated in his delusions or maybe it’s just delusions and hallucinations based off of a fear (or just completely random). Either way it’s good you are listening to him and showing him you’re there for him. That will help build trust between you. The truth is he needs to be on antipsychotic drugs to lessen these symptoms and give both of you more peace of mind but, getting him to agree to go to the hospital is a whole other story…I hope you can continue to build the trust by listening to him more, assuring him he’s safe and he can go in the near future for proper medicine to help. Best of luck!
Hello Meg. Sorry to hear you have more trouble with your brother. It hurts to see them spiral and suffer and not know what to do about it.
You’re doing a better job helping him than I ever could do for Billy. I couldn’t get him to do anything and he wouldn’t let me help him. When I told him I wanted to help him and he wouldn’t let me he said if I wanted to help him I should drive him around so he could buy some cigarettes and find a prostitute. Helping him clean his apartment or clean his filthy body was no help at all in his mind. His social worker bugged me to do all his dirty work (shopping, cleaning, laundry, etc) completely ignoring that I worked and had my own house, shopping, cleaning, laundry, etc. You can’t win in that situation.
One thing I noticed is that when Billy got older he got a lot worse. It was heartbreaking and appalling to see his rapid decline. I had a very busy life at the time. I was dreading the task of finding him a home where he could hopefully be managed. And I was still mourning the loss of my only sibling to schizophrenia. Honestly Meg, I didn’t realize it at the time, but it was like he died way back in 1979. It was like I went away to college and never saw my brother again.
And then, he died. So sudden, but not unexpected.
I don’t know how old your brother is Meg, but it’s something to consider. Don’t be blindsided. How much help do you think you’ll be able to give him in ten years? Don’t be like me and lose your brother and then realize you’re toiled your whole life for someone who couldn’t care less about you and totally took you for granted, and now you’re all used up.
Thanks Eddie for sharing your experience- my son is 48 and sadly declined in the last 3.5 years when he stopped his medications- I would have done anything to save him- I did so much for him- cleaned, shopped, taxi to appointments etc-in the last 3.5 years he went to jail for a year, local psychiatric hospital for 10 months and now in state hospital since December- he’s still not stable/ and won’t talk to me/ so , so much for building relationship with him- it all fell apart when he chose to stop his psych meds- I hear you Billie, it’s been exhausting/ since he was 17 years old- I’m his medical proxy and have power of attorney- so I keep track of what’s going on- and make suggestions as needed- thanks