Your husband is pointing a gun at your son. To me your husband sounds scary and if he can point a gun at your son he can probably do the same to you. Only you can make the decision for him to leave or not but whatever you do please be very careful. If you throw him out would he try to kill you. Your situation sounds dangerous.
This is so difficult! Having to choose between my husband and my son! Of course I choose my son. But watching my husband leave broke my heart! He sees me as rejecting him instead of realizing that it’s out of my hands! My son has bpd and sz and with my husbands personality and refusal to learn about my sons disabilities, we were just sitting on a powder keg! I’m just trying to be responsible and do the right thing for both their sake! And I’m really angry at this mental disease that has taken over my son!! And really sad that I have to lose one to save the other! Prayers please!
Internet hugs and prayers for peace of mind knowing you are doing your best for all involved. I’m so sorry. I don’t think you had a lot of choice and perhaps he’ll come to realize that. God bless
I’m sending prayers.