Continuing the discussion from Caregiver plans for the day:
I see myself as a caregiver to a 17 year old kid, (blindingly smart though she is, still 17) and she is a care giver to me. Head of my crisis team and keeps an eye out for day to day difficulties.
As many know she lives with me and qualified for the “Running Start” program. Which means she is taking her senior high school year and her college freshman year at the same time. I know it sounds odd, but Washington state is one of the few “Running Start” states along with Hawaii and I think California.
So we’ve been humming along her in college and working at 17 and me working and trying to stay stable and kick down my SZ and the past year has been an interesting push and pull of "Who is going to be the adult today"
For ages she took care of me and I went to my job and then came home and hid in my room until it was time to go to my job again.
But now that something in my head changed and life changed and I’ve been trying to become more self-supporting… the boat has been rocked. She’s not the adult as much. She hit a patch of bad health and panic about school and a patch of terrible horrid boyfriends and a different brother in rehab and on and on. 17 has been a nasty year for her… I think she wants to revert.
It’s come to her attention that some of her friends from high school are going to the prom. Being in running start, she has been spending time on a college campus not a high school one. She is NOT going to a prom. She is going to graduate with honors, but not be in the graduation ceremony, or the year book, or high school swim team. She’s on city league, not high school league. So on paper she’s still affiliated with the high school, academically she’s a college student, and in reality, she says she’s in no mans land. I really worry for her because her sibling SZ support group split and faded and I have a feeling this is one of her most unsupported times ever.
It’s odd because I hear it when the friends talk, her friends are GREEN with envy that she’s got a job,(as a lifeguard at the pool just across the point) living away from home, has her own car, gets to date college guys, no curfew, no parents all the time.
She is becoming a bit consumed by the green monster by her friends who have their parents taking care of every little thing and just handing them money.
I missed my 17th year and have no idea how to relate. Maybe she grew up too fast? She doesn’t want to live back home. ( ) but something needs to happen. How would a non-sz parent handle this?