Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Being nicer to my mom


#1

Two things I was taught…my mom said “the way you treat your mother is how you’ll treat your girlfriend”…I realized I’m somewhat irritable towards my mom ever since she told me I was irritable and irritability was a symptom of schizoaffective.

Another thing I was taught “if a parent is high strung, the children will be high strung”. My dad is very irritable and high strung and it may have rubbed off on me.

So this combo, I will try to be nicer to my mom. She’s the nicest woman I’ve ever met. She’s a little ditzy which sometimes frustrates me and makes me irritable, but she is a smart, progressive woman, and deserves my respect. Maybe this respect I give her will rub off on the rest of my life.

I just have issues with my dad, he does a lot of things that frustrate me I’m not sure if I’ll ever find true peace with him. I feel he’s rude to my mom and only thinks about himself. Well I’ll work on that relationship too.


#2

I’ve got some baggage from my parents too. In some ways they were the perfect parents, but they also had grievous faults - I would almost say damning faults.


#3

I used to tell my son, “take the best of both of us and leave the rest.”

There is no graduate degree for parenting. I tried to read every book I could about babies, but then your instinct kicks in because you know your baby the best.

Parents try their best but they are only human. Then you can forgive your parents for what you think they did wrong and resolve that you’ll never do that to Your kid.


#4

How true it is.


#5

When you’re on a date with your new girlfriend, pay attention to how she treats the waiter…because that’s exactly how she’ll treat you later on in your relationship.


#6

That’s good, we are only blessed with one mom.


#7

I’m so glad you’re making that effort. It is hard, and our relationship to our moms are probably the most complicated, but so worth trying to honor and show love. My mom’s gone six years now and I wish every day I could talk with her. We butted heads, both pretty opinionated etc, but she did the best she could and really did love me. Give your mom a hug :heart:


#8

Ahh, kenforce…


#9

I liked my parents too. They were very loyal, very patient, very caring. Of course being parents, they could make me very angry at them occasionally. My dad was cool and funny but also scary for such a little guy (He was 5’9". Not that small actually). But yeah, I remember him telling me, " Hey, I’m cool. I know I’m cool, and anybody who doesn’t think so can go f*ck themselves". That’s the way he was.

But when I was in the hospital for 8 months, him and my mom visited me every day. My mom was cool in her own way. She was a pretty straight arrow, she didn’t drink, rarely cussed, didn’t break the law, she wasn’t some tough broad. But she was very assertive and commanded respect and was equal to anybody. I miss them very much.


#10

To whoever said high-strung parents make high-strung kids, that’s certainly the case with me. My dad was wound tight as a snare drum. He used to take the Metro in to DC for work when we lived there. He’d get to the Metro station at 4:30 for a 6:00am train. I used to rib him that he wanted to make sure no one moved the tracks. :smile: I am chronically early. If I have an appointment with the doctor at 12 noon, I will be there at 11:15 in case there’s a huge car wreck or a crossing train, or I get pulled over, and a million other reasons. I miss my dad, even though we had our issues at the end.