Boyfriend Help


#1

My boyfriend was diagnosed with schizophrenia about two months ago. We are currently in a long distance relationship. Even though he has schizophrenia I still love him and want to be with him. When he was diagnosed he broke up with me, and it left me really hurt. Then two weeks later he apologized and said he wanted me back, which I happily took him back. Now, about a month later he broke up with me again, and he said he’s not sure if he loves me anymore. He’s been really cold and distant to me, and ignores me whenever I try to talk to him. I really want to be there for him, cause recently his best friend has been diagnosed with cancer too. What should I do? Will he come back? Is this common for schizophrenics? Also, I’m new on this site, so I’m still getting the hang of things.


#2

schizophrenic doesnt come into it. he obviously doesn’t want to be with u so i personally wouldn’t waste any more of my time on him. xxx


#3

It is common for schizophrenics to withdraw from people. So it isn’t you, it’s him. As to whether or not he’ll come back, I don’t know.


#4

Hi,

I recommend you learn as much as you can about schizophrenia. Some of the behaviors you mention sound like typical symptoms of schizophrenia.

Here are some good pages to start on:

http://www.schizophrenia.com/earlysigns.htm

http://www.schizophrenia.com/diag.php


#5

Also - here are some good ideas on how to interact with your boyfriend:

http://www.schizophrenia.com/sznews/archives/005561.html


#6

Learn what you can about schizophrenia. Sometimes I can get very frustrated with my son but I have to realize that at times there is so much going on for him inside of his own head that my feelings are not a priority.

Please look at these sites:
http://www.leapinstitute.org/ - under resources are free videos on using LEAP
LEAP is a way of communicating to build trust. Listen-Empathize-Agree-Partner.
http://dramador.com/ - Dr. Xavier Amador is a clinical psychologist whose brother had schizophrenia. He is the founder of the LEAP Institute. Wrote the book: I’m Not Sick I Don’t Need Help! Can buy from his website.
Search Xavier Amador and LEAP on youtube.com and you should find some long videos
http://www.treatmentadvocacycenter.org/index.php - under problems you will see anosognosia
Anosognosia looks like denial but is different.
http://lesswrong.com/lw/e25/bayes_for_schizophrenics_reasoning_in_delusional/ - helped my understand delusions
http://www.nami.org/ - National Alliance on Mental Illness.
http://www.schizophrenia.ca/ - Schizophrenia Society of Canada

And welcome to the forum. You are not alone.


#7

Thank you to everyone who replied, I am talking to him right now. It is confusing because now he is being caring to me again. I know why he might be unstable though, he refuses to get treatment and has hallucinations and hears voices as well. He said he had schizophrenia a few months ago, but what he didn’t tell me was he never actually went to the hospital to know for sure. Thank you all for all your support, I appreciate it.