Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Could my BF be schizophrenic?

My boyfriend is 20 and I believe he could be showing early signs of schizophrenia. He won’t tell the doctors or anyone the truth about how he acts/feels so please let me know if this sounds like he is developing schizophrenia. I’m scared and confused. We have been living together for a few months and have 3 months left of our lease. Here is the story, I’ll try to be brief:
About a year ago he started showing signs of depression. Before that, he was happy, loving, and carefree. He was in college and doing great and had a passion for theatre and film which he was very involved in. Slowly, he started getting less motivated to pursue his interests. We started fighting often and he would say things like “You’re not good enough for me” and then say he never meant it. He did this A LOT. I told him that he needs to go to a psychiatrist and get some help. He told me he did and he went on Lexapro after being diagnosed with anxiety and depression. He also told me he went to biweekly therapy sessions for 3 months. Last August, we moved to Los Angeles together, a plan that we’ve had for a long time so he could pursue his dreams. Once we got here, though, he has no desire to go to auditions, make films, etc. He has dropped out of school and has a part time job but he calls in sick more often than not and is on the verge of being fired. We get in fights almost every day. I am a very calm person but he is always yelling at me. We’ve had police called on us by neighbors and we’ve been reported to Social Services because my neighbors thought I was being beaten. The tiniest thing will set him off- like normal every day things. He’ll go into a fit of rage. He’ll yell at me, say things like I don’t love him and I don’t care about him all the time. He’ll scream and his eyes will cross. He’ll hit things, throw things (even furniture), and rip out clumps of hair. I found out that he invited an ex girlfriend over to our house multiple times while I was out of town and confronted him about it. I wasn’t accusatory but he called me a bitch, liar, etc. and threw himself down the stairs saying he was trying to kill himself. He has set up cameras in his room to watch me when I come in. A few nights ago, we got in a fight and he tried to leave and say he was going to kill himself. I said I was going to call 911, and he said “do it, I’ll be dead by the time they find me.” I blocked the door so he said “Fine, I’ll do it here” and grabbed a kitchen knife. I called 911 and they got there within a minute, before he was able to do anything. He then put on an act. He acted completely fine and told them that everything was fine and we just got in a little fight. They made me take him to a hospital and they released him after he told them that he just needs new medication. Now I found out that he never talked to a psychiatrist and got Lexapro from his general physician. He never went to therapy. He lied to me that whole time. He doesn’t talk to his family and I have tried to tell them what is going on but they don’t understand the severity because there is little communication between them. He has completely isolated himself from friends. He only talks to me. He refuses to go to therapy because he thinks they will control his mind. He has been saying weird little things like believing in lots of outrageous conspiracies and saying that I put things in his food and refuses to eat it. He hasn’t mentioned hearing voices specifically except by saying “my head is telling me that” when he says that I don’t love him or care about him. He is paranoid that I will find someone else and doesn’t let me leave the house without him. I’m alone and afraid. I’m 19 years old and don’t know what happened to him or how to handle it. Please help. Thank you

Hi, It sounds like your boyfriend might have some kind of mental illness or personality disorder. The behaviors you have described are troubling. We internet laypeople cannot diagnose anyone, but it sounds like he has real need for assessment and treatment.

In my personal, layperson, uneducated opinion, his behavior does not sound like sz.

From your post, I am more concerned about you being in a difficult relationship. Hoping you are safe and cared for, my thinking would be that you consult a confidential domestic violence hotline in a way that he cannot overhear or discover and find a way to get yourself safely out of the relationship.

Doesn’t sound like it, I would most likely go with Borderline Personality Disorder. You should leave, it’s not fair to you for him to do that to you. It’s really difficult to have a relationship with someone with that disorder, they act like sociopaths who are constantly seeking pity from others and never doing anything for themselves or someone else.

It sounds as if something is going on with your BF. There is an early intervention program for psychosis in people aged 12-35 in LA who are experiencing changes in their thoughts, feelings, behavior, such as unusual thoughts, distorted or heightened perceptions, suspiciousness, ideas of special identity or ability. Additional changes may include reduced concentration, reduced energy, depression, sleep disturbance, withdrawal from family/ friends, trouble with school or work, anxiety, and irritability. The program is called The Staglin Music Festival Center for the Assessment and Prevention of Prodromal States (CAPPS) and provides assessment and treatment at no cost. Prodromal states are the period of time leading up to a psychotic break. He may be headed in that direction. The phone # 310-206-3466 and they are at UCLA. Call Monday and talk to someone. They will likely be able to help you or guide you. Best wishes!!


Does not match any of my sz family members’ behavior.

Sounds extremely dangerous!

with the threats towards you or self harm, you should be able to get a court order or what ever it may be in your area. To put in the hospital, i mean. You might just save his life.

From a parent’s perspective, i would want the bf of my daughter to tell me such things.

From a gf perspective (sorry, just being honest), I would not stay in this relationship. It is not like he got sick after you’ve been together for ages…

1 Like