Good morning all. UK follower here and I have just found this forum.
I’ve been in a relationship with Katy for 5 years.
She has schizzoaffective disorder. She was upfront with her condition from the start of our relationship. The first year of our relationship was amazing. She is beautiful kind and caring for the most part.
The next 3 years were a bit up and down. She doesnt seem to be able to deal with Anger and quickly resorts to being abusive or threatening to end the relationship. Usually when she doesn’t get her own way. Although she was prescribed medication I was aware she never took it.
She ended the relationship with me this time last year. Her behaviour was getting ever more hostile towards me but never physical. After the split she was then sectioned under the mental health act here in the UK and spent 3 weeks in a psychiatric hospital. We spent 4 months apart when I dated another woman and she dated a couple of other guys.
At the end of July last year she reached out and apologised for her behaviour. We patched things up. She was regular with her medication and things have been great. Aside from 1 instance where again she would get abusive. We spoke after about it and she apologized but equally tried to shift the blame onto me because I had wound her up
Anyway this year in when the Ukraine war started she became increasingly anxious. She became obsessive to the point she would be watching the news all day long. I tried to comfort her and tried to explain I didn’t think this was doing her any good.
She then started looking for comfort in religion but again quickly became obsessive and started being delusional about her role to save people from ww3 and lead those who would follow her to the new world/paradise. I listened to her and tried to provide comfort but at this time it was beginning to take its toll on me.
I then unfortunately caught COVID but Katy was insistent that I stayed with her as she was sure she would have caught it and we can self isolate together. We slept in different rooms and she began to complain that she wasn’t sleeping well without me with her.
One day we had a fight. I’m unsure of the reason as it seemed to escalate very quickly. Again she got very abusive and I reacted by standing up and shouted that I won’t be spoken to like that.
This then provoked her even more and she came up to me. Grabbed me loosely round the throat. I then unfortunately reacted and took her hand and said “go on then. Hit me if it makes you feel better” and struck myself with her hand". I then found composure and apologised and the whole thing dealescalated.
2 days later. She tested positive. That night she wasn’t sleeping and despite my efforts to encourage her to go to bed she didn’t.
The following morning she was visibly in a rage with me so I took decision to go to my place. We texted throughout the day and she was making no sense at all. Calling me gay,. Then talking about religion and just not being herself.
Later that day. She started posting on Facebook. Something about me commuting crimes on camera and then asked what the quickest way to kill a Jew was.
I called the police and put a concern for welfare in. I found out later that night she was taken in.
I’ve since found out she had stopped taking her meds and been smoking cannabis
Since then I’ve had threats and allegations that police are after me. She made a threat towards one of her neighbours. She’s fallen out with her best friend and sister.
She has since been moved to a psychiatric hospital and I visited her and brought her some things. She then told me the relationship was over but could be friends. I explained this wasn’t what I wanted but accepted it. We still spoke often but seemed she was itching for a fight. I also found out she was being confrontational to the staff .
One day she tried to make me jealous that some guy on the ward she had a instant connection with and on another occasion sent me a screenshot of a chat she was having with a guy. Who didn’t appear to be replying to anything she said.
Last Thursday she had a hearing to find out if she could be released but they refused. Things seemed fine until I told her I had to go to bed. She then kicked off. Again was cruel and has since blocked me.
Obviously I care for her and love her but keen to give her the space to get better.
I’m just at a loss to understand why she is being so hostile and narcissistic.
Can anyone give me any insight or share their experiences?