Something you said really struck a chord with me, about finding it so impossible to ‘give up on some one you love’. I am not sure if sharing my experience helps at all but I have been in a similar situation with other family members and it is beyond hard emotionally to commit to only what you truly can manage in a ‘healthy and quality’ way. I did not learn this until just the past few years and I am 58 now. If I did not learn it I am not sure I would have made it to this age. I had so much in front of me-so much stress, my mother has alcohol induced dementia and other mental health issues, and my 2 younger half sisters handle her. They approached me once when I was in the worst throes of dealing with my son’s schizophrenia and I just looked dumbfounded at them and said I just can’t. Then there was my other sister I mention here time to time, I love her dearly although it is one sided due to her illness. I have tried several times to help her out, with food and money and transportation and referrals to other sources for help. She is very ill and not in proper treatment, she is isolated in a tiny efficiency apartment and only takes Buspar, which is like a drop in the bucket to handle what she contends with mentally…she has many problems from anxiety, to bi polar, to schizoaffective, some delusions and even borderline personality disorder. In addition she has been a crack addict in years passed, although last I saw her in March of this year, she was only using pot and was preaching the evils of anything more than pot. Anyway, several of her doctors called me because over the years of her allowing me in and out of her life (more out than in really) some doctors kept my number and asked me, actually pleaded with me to get guardianship over her, and I knew in my heart of hearts as much as she needs some one there and she has no one else, it just could not be me, I have my son’s guardianship and to me one guardianship is enough, my son is doing well right now and I know that that wellness is not a lifetime guarantee, meds can stop working at anytime, I have heard stories of that happening 10, 15 or 20 years down the line…and maybe things will stay fine, again, one can only hope…I also want to take my own care seriously for a change now that I can breath with my son, I have to pay attention to my health and my wellness and after so much neglect of myself over the years caring for me alone seems to be a full time job…lol,…anyway…there are others in my family also unwell and I have just systematically had to say I cannot care full time or even part time for anybody else, does not mean I don’t have care or have compassion, I just know I have limitations. Sorry so wordy, I just got to thinking, and I thought I’d share those thoughts… Thanks for listening/reading.