Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Desperate For Educated Help Regarding A Loved One

The longer you are on the board you will become familiar with the more regular members. While it can seem impossible to any of us during our own severe crisis situations, there does seem to always be someone in a worse situation than our own.

From what I understand, Clozapine is an anti-psychotic mainly used for schizophrenia, but maybe you meant anti-psychotic instead of anti-anxiety.

I often think that if someone were to become a love interest in my son’s life -if he were to become medicated at some point- I would feel a great deal of concern for their choice to be with my son. On some difficult days - and we all have difficult days- I would think that it would be in their best interest to not be with my son. It would be very hard for me to not warn someone to avoid the situation, especially with a child in the home. Our loved ones can be a full time occupation at times. I think my son is wonderfully lovable, his illness makes his life quite difficult at times.

Good luck with your choice - whether its true or not, I do hope that its easier for those in relationship to keep their loved one stable on meds, than it is for we parental units. You get a few stronger cards to play from my perspective.


Maybe you can ask her again on the day of her next appt. If she agrees, go with her to the appt. Don’t give her a chance to change her mind.

If she balks about giving consent at the visit, you and the doctor can help explain why it’s in her best interest to allow you to help in her recovery.

It’s worth a try😃

1 Like

Yes, but I have no medical evidence to back her utter dependence on Klonopin, just what I see. Nothing triggers her more into a panic that losing that, even if it’s only missing for 5 minutes trust me.

As far as the Adderall, being little more than a speed pill I can easily see how it can increase her anxiety yet that’s apparently what they prescribe “troubled” people who are depressed and unfocused. If it’s working for her I fail to see how or why. Honestly from my vantage point the anti-anxiety meds are more practical but I don’t know what I don’t know.

What I do know for absolute certainty is that all of them are little more than a flimsy band-aid doing little to nothing positive overall.

1 Like

Hope that’s an extremely thought provoking post and I fully respect it. I think we have maybe a 10% chance of making it now but it’s so hard because I know she loves me and no matter how mad she likes to pretend she is, she’ll eventually be let loose in a sea of sharks that will swiftly eat her alive in her current state. No one in her family cares enough to do anything, and when I try I’m demonized.


I wish I had the ability to make her stand by any comment or admission of guilt, but they go faster than they come and my words and intentions are always quickly reduced to nothing. Plus forcing her into anything is simply not an option.

1 Like

Something you said really struck a chord with me, about finding it so impossible to ‘give up on some one you love’. I am not sure if sharing my experience helps at all but I have been in a similar situation with other family members and it is beyond hard emotionally to commit to only what you truly can manage in a ‘healthy and quality’ way. I did not learn this until just the past few years and I am 58 now. If I did not learn it I am not sure I would have made it to this age. I had so much in front of me-so much stress, my mother has alcohol induced dementia and other mental health issues, and my 2 younger half sisters handle her. They approached me once when I was in the worst throes of dealing with my son’s schizophrenia and I just looked dumbfounded at them and said I just can’t. Then there was my other sister I mention here time to time, I love her dearly although it is one sided due to her illness. I have tried several times to help her out, with food and money and transportation and referrals to other sources for help. She is very ill and not in proper treatment, she is isolated in a tiny efficiency apartment and only takes Buspar, which is like a drop in the bucket to handle what she contends with mentally…she has many problems from anxiety, to bi polar, to schizoaffective, some delusions and even borderline personality disorder. In addition she has been a crack addict in years passed, although last I saw her in March of this year, she was only using pot and was preaching the evils of anything more than pot. Anyway, several of her doctors called me because over the years of her allowing me in and out of her life (more out than in really) some doctors kept my number and asked me, actually pleaded with me to get guardianship over her, and I knew in my heart of hearts as much as she needs some one there and she has no one else, it just could not be me, I have my son’s guardianship and to me one guardianship is enough, my son is doing well right now and I know that that wellness is not a lifetime guarantee, meds can stop working at anytime, I have heard stories of that happening 10, 15 or 20 years down the line…and maybe things will stay fine, again, one can only hope…I also want to take my own care seriously for a change now that I can breath with my son, I have to pay attention to my health and my wellness and after so much neglect of myself over the years caring for me alone seems to be a full time job…lol,…anyway…there are others in my family also unwell and I have just systematically had to say I cannot care full time or even part time for anybody else, does not mean I don’t have care or have compassion, I just know I have limitations. Sorry so wordy, I just got to thinking, and I thought I’d share those thoughts… Thanks for listening/reading. :slight_smile:


Catherine–All so compassionately and intelligently expressed. Your post in response to Safetyhit will help many of us. Thank you.


Catherine I’m learning what my limitations are as I go trust me. Thought I’d seen it all and am not known to be a weak person by any and all means. Been to hell and back before her and am not a perfect man, but I coach my son’s football team, volunteer in Superior Court reviewing child welfare cases and for the most part maintain my dignity and drive through my son. I did before her and I will after her if need be.

Still I love her and she is an extremely faithful and compassionate woman. It’s that other side that’s slowly taking hold and, as of this moment anyway, I’m utterly powerless to stop it. Like many others here of course.


I understand. Thanks for sharing.

1 Like

How is she getting the Klonipin? She needs a script. Is she “Doctor shopping”? Or maybe she isn’t abusing it.

I still think talking w her doctor, or sending the doctor a letter w your concerns, should be your first priority… It might take some detective work on your part😏
Get the doctor’s name, phone #,look at the script on the pill bottle, which pharmacy is she using?

Don’t give up! You can still help her get her meds straight.


She is prescribed four medications, including Klonopin and according to her she has been for over years. As far as the doctor I was able to find the name of the first one that she had for a decade and that’s who I called twice. Her pills she used to leave more accessible so I know what she takes and where her pharmacy is but as time has passed she is increasingly apprehensive regarding her purse and keeps it on her at all times. Even in bed.

She hasn’t been here since Wednesday but I can probably find an empty bottle hidden someplace for the Dr. name. Will look around and see.

1 Like

Definitely use this opportunity to sleuth for an empty med bottle or something w the doctor’s name on it.

Also,note the names and dosages on all the med bottles you find.

The old psych won’t help you. Too much liability. Concentrate on contacting the new one.


1 Like