First I want to thank everyone on this forum who helped me with the problems around my (now ex) boyfriend who has schizophrenia. The advice I received was very helpful.
I’m looking for advice around my ex bf’s behaviour post split. I have stayed in contact with him. Both he and his mother have an expectation we will stay friends. His mother has interfered a lot. Contact has been via text and phone calls. He says he wants me to speak to his Outreach team worker. He claims he understands the reasons why we broke up and wants to put the work in on his illness. He says this but I don’t always believe him, his responses lack consistency. He presses me for hours to analyse him and his illness and the relationship. He says he is listening, not sure he is. I’ve learned since we broke that he has been dishonest with me on a regular basis about many things. He claims this is because of his illness.
Overall the contact has been moderately stressful (there has been too much of it and too often) - but nothing overly concerning/worrying in terms of his stability. But tonight he calls me in response to a question I asked him.
He basically completely lost it with me - ranting about how he has a migraine, how miserable he is and how I don’t understand him at all, strongly implying that how he feels is my responsibility. I state firmly that it is not. He reacts with obvious anger/irritation when I tell him his behaviour is inappropriate.
I worried when we broke up he would have a “delayed reaction” to the realities of living without me. I’m worried this is it.
My questions - does his illness justify dishonesty or burdening me with his emotions post a break up which was mainly his choice? Is he intentionally lying to me? In a healthy person it would be clearly deliberate, so does that still apply to him?
I really need some insight on this because I’m losing clarity of thought.
Is he having a breakdown?
He blames his illness for all of his wrong behaviour towards me. It’s so painful to me to think this is who he really is after so long with him.
Desperate for help - please respond,