Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Feeling hopeless

My stomach is feeling sick today. My husband and I went over our MI, 29yo, house today. He lives in one of our old rentals. We haven’t been there in about a month. When I say the house is destroyed, I’m not exaggerating. It’s really uninhabitable now. He smashes things, broken windows, thermostat tore off of wall, etc. We just don’t know what to do anymore. He needs to be committed , but he is not “harming himself or others” . He’s now spending more time at our house, though he doesn’t talk to us. Sits and stares, won’t answer. We are telling him today he has to go home. We possibly could call crisis center and see what they say. They have come before… I just have lost all hope, He is noncompliant, doesn’t take meds. when he is committed, stays a few days, discharged, then it starts all over. . We don’t have any say because of HIPPA. We don’t want him living with us, long term places just aren’t there.

@Shallcro,
That is a very difficult situation, I feel for you.
For the timebeing, while he is still under your roof, you could try a few things.
Obviously trying to engage in conversation is likely not going to lead anywhere, so I suggest you try and get him involved in other ways. The fact that he left the rental to come to your home, means something. He chose it, after all, I’m assuming?
Meal times are an important family opportunity.
Even if he isn’t up to joining in discussion, you could ask him to help out — either by setting the table (or clearing afterwards), or by helping in the preparation of the food (scrubbing vegetables, or whatever). This will give him a sense of accomplishment, feeling needed and some necessary routine.
It’s worth a try. Baby steps. Everyone has to eat, so might as well start there.
Regardless of ones mental state, proper nutrition and companionship, is something we all crave and can appreciate and does wonders for our soul.
Good luck, and let us know how you get on.

1 Like

That a tough one i’m sorry , what if you told him if he wants to continue to live with you that he needs to take meds or bribe him with money to take meds or have an injectable , i know someone that does that with her son and its been working for many years now and he is stable . If that fails i would call Nami for advise . good luck , hang in there .

1 Like

Oh I can identify with this. DD lives in a home we bought for her. Last time we were there, it was disgustingly filthy and gross, although not too much actual damage that we could see. We had her hospitalized, but she was released after only a couple of weeks, and I’m afraid it wasn’t long enough. Ironically, providing her with a home means she has a safe place to be discharged to, and can now be relatively invisible and extremely ill without anyone else being affected or caring. She is in a different community, several hours away, so we have no opportunity to affect her day to day, and can only surmise the situation from phone calls. I am selfishly grateful that she isn’t able to come and disrupt our home lives, but it is frustrating to not be able to do anything. I am so sorry that you have such a difficult situation, and hope you can come to some resolution.

1 Like

Sometimes when my son gets ad muted to the hospital, I will go to his place and do a cleanup and, if I’m able to get some help and can’t afford it, I will get someone, or pay someone to do repairs. The last few times though, I did not clean or do any repairs hoping he would get sick of coming home to his place like that. That really hasn’t worked either though. However, that’s about the best you can do. Sorry I’m not much help.

1 Like

My daughter lived in a car. Her car was impounded and repossessed so now she does not have a safe place to be discharged to, so she stays in a hospital (in Canada). I asked to keep her there as long as possible. Especially with covid now. They need to find her a home. We also have forensic hospitals in Canada, but a patient needs to commit a crime and have a lawyer who would argue that the patient needs to be in a forensic hospital. The difference from jail is that a patient will be receiving treatments whereas in jail they won’t. I believe that sz patients need longer treatments to have any effect on their health.

2 Likes