Lately, things have been going well. At least it seemed that way. For a month or more, things seemed legitimately okay. My husband is still unmedicated, but we’ve been going out and doing activities fairly frequently as a family. We would take our daughter to restaurants and grocery shopping and other little errands, and we’d come home tired but mostly feeling well from spending quality time together.
Then tonight, I found a message that my husband had initiated to a woman that seemed rather flirtatious. In confronting him, I remained vague and simply said that he knew what he did and to put a stop to it (He has a history of flirting with women outside of the relationship, even going so far as to download dating apps and the like). He made a minor admission of guilt, saying “if you want me to leave, I’ll leave” meanwhile I never said anything of the sort. He maintained his innocence the whole time. Then I read the message to him and he claimed he had no idea where it came from and he had no recollection of sending it (within the last 24 hours, mind you). Then he cried and said “sorry for being a shitty person; I’m doing things I can’t even remember doing; I wish you’d never fallen in love with me” etc. My only issue with this is that I can’t believe if he’s genuine or not. I don’t know if he deliberately sent the message or not. I don’t know if he’s not remembering things due to alcohol, his mental illness, or a combination of both. I suggested he stop drinking and seek help for his mental illness, and I’m hoping this incident can be an eye opener if he truly has no recollection of what he did. I can’t even bring myself to be mad or upset over it, I’m just feeling a whirlwind and a little overwhelmed. I’m not sure what to think.
I’m so thankful for this outlet to talk about sz related issues. Any kind comments are much appreciated. Much love to all of you.