Finding a paranoid family member that runs away


#1

It’s been some years since I’ve been on here, my son is ill with schizophrenia.

My problem, though, has to do with my brother…

He is 55 years old and also a Marine Veteran.

He had been diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease in 2014. (I didn’t get told till last year though). He also was diagnosed with bipolar. He has been in the hospital recently for about 3 weeks. He tried to hang himself twice in the hospital. He got out and the very next day took off! He has the “everyone is out to get me” problem. My whole family is so worried about him! It’s bad. He doesn’t trust anyone. Not even family. Keeps changing phones by buying burner phones, sleeps in his truck, etc.
He lives in AZ and I am in Ohio. I tried calling the police there but unless he is suicidal or threatens to hurt someone else, they can’t do anything. We don’t even know where he is. He could be in Utah, Colorado, AZ, California, NV, etc.
Has anyone ever had to deal with a family member that is so paranoid that they won’t listen, won’t come home, won’t go to a hospital, etc???


#2

Hi, and welcome back to this site.

I am so sorry this is happening to you and your brother. It is pretty typical that the police not get involved unless a person is a threat to others or themselves.

Yes, my daughter left home for about 30 days, not telling anyone where she was. She wouldn’t listen to me at all then. She left home voluntarily and returned voluntarily when her credit cards maxed out and she was moneyless. She still refuses to see a doctor or go to a hospital.

I hope he contacts you and that you find some peace amid all the worry.


#3

Thank you oldladyblue. :slight_smile: My whole family keeps praying and hoping he will turn up and trust someone. It’s hard for me to accept that he has Bipolar though. He is 55 years old and I have never known him to display bipolar traits (at least not that I saw when visiting him). Maybe could be the Parkinson’s causing the bipolar symptoms?


#4

Yes, @grumpy123, perhaps Parkinson’s is causing mental issues. My daughter’s grandmother is suffering from Parkinson’s and has issues. My daughter does not have Parkinson’s but is paranoid schizophrenic per one p-doc and bi-polar per another p-doc from her hospitalizations.

It is hard to accept any type of mental illness, I find. I just keep wishing it away…


#5

Just an update on my brother. I could use some strength right now. I just feel like crying all the time.

My brother committed
suicide last Friday. He hung himself. I just feel sick. He was so paranoid, delusional, and confused that he just couldn’t go to get help. He isolated himself for a month and gave up at the end. I feel sick. God help me get through this.


#6

I am so sorry for the loss you are experiencing. This is a horrible illness.


#7

Oh no, I’m so sorry for the tragic loss of your brother.

Sending strength and prayers to you. May your broken hearth be soothed and comforted as much as possible.


#8

I am so sorry for you loss.


#9

I am so sorry for the loss of your brother. Such a tragedy, such a loss.


#10

I’m so sorry. That’s so tragic. Peace to you all.


#11

I am so sorry for your loss.


#12

My head is bowed, I have tears for you and your brother. I am so sorry.

I hope you don’t mind if I share a bit of my past. My grandfather committed suicide when he became very hopeless after his wife of over 5 decades had died. He left our home and hung himself from the shower curtain rod in his apartment 5 days later. I was devastated and angry for a long time, as I loved him, and felt such remorse. A priest took the time to counsel me and help me realize that I needed to forgive my grandfather, and myself, as this was the only solution my grandfather could find, and he was unafraid to take that solution. The priest told me that my grandfather was at peace now instead of tortured. I asked him how he could say that when he, during earlier sermons, taught me that a person would spend eternity in hell after a suicide? He was the first authority that admitted to me that no one really knows for sure what happens after death and that I could question or not believe authority. I say that your brother, who was a good man, a past Marine, and had lived a full life, made his choice and was brave to face it. I believe he is at peace, and I hope you can find peace too remembering the good times and the man he was when he was at his best.


#13

Thank you all for the prayers. My family right now is trying to figure out when the service will be, as it will likely take a while for the coroner’s report, movement of my brother’s body to my mom and dad’s area, finding the will, etc… Such a loss. and yes, he was a good man. So caring and so brave. My heart aches. I just keep doing my routine for the most part but the thoughts just keep coming of him.