Having some symptoms

I have some psychotic symptoms right now but am out of meds to try so the psychiatrist didn’t change my meds. It often comes and goes on my meds and I have been managing it this way since last year. That said, I went to the mall today and sat at a dessert shop and had a strawberry smoothie and got a new dress. I like being around young people since I feel they are more tolerant of me… and people watched them for a while. I grew up in Hawaii but went to college in North Carolina. I didn’t feel racially excluded in Hawaii but I did at college even among other Asians. I realize many white people see Asians in a negative way. I was a loner there but made new friends after returning to Hawaii. Oahu has lots of things Asians like such as anime conventions, Asian grocery stores, and a ton of boba shops… so I’m very happy here. We also have nice beaches and recently moved to a new house. I realized after I put photos of the new house on social media, some college and even Hawaii people wanted to associate with me more. I only have about 10 Facebook friends from my university, Duke. But I’ve come to realize that even those who rejected me are victims of racism as well, and they can’t move to Hawaii to escape it. I have enough on my plate dealing with mental health and it’s hard to find relief besides by lying down, listening to some music, drinking herbal pear juice, and doing some light work. Tomorrow I would like to stay home to do laundry.


But I want to point out that living in Hawaii has a dark side as well and many people here also stigmatize the mentally ill. I am lucky because my parents support me. I don’t have a case manager and most times no one makes me do things I wouldn’t want to do. When I’m not feeling well I can stay home and when I feel better I set some goals like jogging, helping with errands, or support group. But the mental health system can be unkind to those who do not have privilege.
One friend from college has a brother with schizophrenia. I looked on his Facebook page and it had all this stuff about him being in the cia, etc. It feels like a cruel way to live and he even got beat up for being black. It’s just not right and I don’t think even living in Hawaii is an escape for the mentally ill.


You are doing admirably to manage your symptoms and live in a healthy way, but I sense that you would definitely like something better! Have you tried Clozapine?


Hello, Tukey
The drink and the dress both look awesome. And I am so glad you are able to get out and do some shopping and people watching. That’s always fun. Sounds like your trying to get out and be as healthy as you can. Not shutting yourself in and being able to get around by yourself is definitely a plus, and also planning your day so you try to get a few things done everyday is also very good for the soul. Sorry to hear your having issues with meds right now, its always a pain it seams to find the right ones that work for you. I hope your doctor listens to you and is working well with you. Anyway, have a good, safe, day. Hugs to you!

Even though I have schizophrenia, my symptoms are generally mild. I have some avolition and delusions but it’s never really caused me too much suffering. But sometimes it feels like the whole thing can be cruel. It’s not just the pain but the way it deforms your brain. To be honest, my life is ok. I have some mild psychosis that comes and goes. Sometimes I go with my mom to work and sometimes I go out for tea or lunch. I realize I’m not the only mentally ill that does these things, some friends do the same. But to explain clearly I do not experience any major suffering. I do not know what it is like but I realize it is inhumane. I’ve once visited a menagerie/garden with peacocks, monkeys, etc. It feels like that is us, trapped like animals.


I am sorry to hear you are having difficulty getting meds that would help you. I am proud of the way you are continuing to move forward in your life despite these difficulties. Please stay strong, my thoughts are with you

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i’m so sorry you’re going through this. no one deserves it just remember you are loved and worthy and you are so valuable. i can’t imagine what it’s like dealing with it or how my brother does. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone… you seem so smart and so emotionally open and vocal. it’s good you’re here talking to others. support helps us all


Happy for you! Going out helps a lot.