HELLO! New to Forum - Need Support

Family
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@BarbP It’s good to have all different perspectives! I am obviously not an expert either. But everyone’s support and experiences definitely help and matter. Thank you for caring about not only my boyfriend, but me as well. My mom is definitely upset for me. She said she knows he is sick and thinks he’s a good kid. But doesn’t think all the weight should be on my shoulders. She suggests that I write (in Spanish) to his mom in Puerto Rico and ask her to pay for his help. I’m not sure yet.

On a good note, he has agreed to go to a therapist with me. He seems to realize his thoughts and actions aren’t normal or right. He is questioning himself. I can tell he’s conflicted and has reached the point where he can tell something isn’t right, but still can’t help the thoughts that he has. It must be very tough for him.

I spend all day assuring him that I’m not bad. He says he asks because he wants us to be together forever. And I told him that I understand (I have anxiety/OCD) the need to need confirmation over and over. But I told him that we spend ALL day doing this. I spend all day getting accused and questioned when all I’m doing is caring for him. And he understood this. But he can’t help it anyway.

I hope the therapist helps or has some way to help us.

42

I’m very relieved to hear that you will be seeing a therapist, as that is the first step. As much as you care for him, it is not your responsibility to carry all of his problems or be blamed for them, and his family’s financial and emotional support are important as well.

I do think that if my B-I-L had had treatment sooner and my mother-in-law had not tried to keep things hidden he would be doing better today. It takes a village, as they say. He was about your boyfriend’s age when he started behaving strangely.

On a positive note, when he finally did get care and was living in a supervised facility but able to come out with us on the weekends, he cracked jokes and enjoyed being with the family and seemed quite healthy. Early intervention is important.

Thinking of you both!

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@BarbP I feel Dan could have gone to therapy a lot earlier, too, but I didn’t want to betray him (which I know is a stupid thought on my part). I feel he has hope, though, and I am sure your brother in law does, too! I’m glad you saw him getting better and back to his old self! That must have been awesome to see.