Helpless, hopeless and sad


Its a good description of how some of them behave, mine is more of an aggressive threat than a jerk when he is having an episode.


Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that as it’s offensive to some.
I think I was thinking of some one else !
My sibling would also eat a great deal at times when she was living elsewhere, had lost her bankcard for the fiftieth time, or had spent all her $$$ and couldn’t afford food.
It lead to some awful fights , let me tell you.
Now she’s living with me and I had all her
( copious laundry) professionally done as I have bad knees and live on 4th floor and the laundry is in the basement. A schlep either way. We’re talking dirty clothes that were worn over and over and were sitting in piles festering. Her room smelled and I’d had it.
Though she has $$$$ now she refuses to pay for this. Forgets. I gently remind her. Nothing doing.
My parents are bugged to pay out of pocket for dental care because she hasn’t found one that’ll accept medicare. Glasses, contacts are often paid for by my parents…
Right now she’s wandering around talking back to the voices in her head.
5:33 a.m
Pure hell.


This is the place where you can say pretty much say what you want. I know I have been called a lot of truly filthy names by my son. The first time it was a horrible shock.

Sometimes our lives are pure hell.


It’s very hard to hear my husband, a former minister, call our beloved son-in-law, a Basta-d This is entirely new in this 18 year long battle. The Capgras symptoms are also new. He is still in the mental hospital and still refusing all antipsychotic meds, sleep machine and is refusing to speak to us in the phone and is adamant about not having visitors.


When my MIL developed vascular dementia, the nurses who would see her when she came to visit FIL in the nursing home started calling us to tell us they thought she had some sort of issue. We all just ignored them as she was always strange. Sometimes she would seem of normal intelligence, other times she couldn’t think at all.

Eventually the vascular dementia was bad enough that we all realized it was something different going on.

MIL became quite sweet and nice with the dementia - something she had never been before. She wanted hugs and handholding - again, something she had never done. She didn’t like touching her own children when they were young. She even began calling herself a different name.


I am so sorry it’s awful to be us sometimes


Hi SewNonnie,
As some who has experience taking Psych meds I can assure the side effects can be embarassing and socially isolating, such as word finding difficulty, slurred speech, and white crusts on corner of mouth with respiridone. That’s why I’ve switched to many other newer effective drugs with less side effects such as Trilafon or Invega.
Haldol has an increased risk of Tardive Dyskinesia, I think, I wouldn’t even touch it. Though it was suggested and offered.
Talking about this with an understanding psychiatrist whose willing to work around these concerns was key and led to me feeling more in control and pro-active. They’re really sick, but they’re still human beings.


The hospital sent him home because he fooled them into thinking he was ok! I knew he wasn’t but just not to what extent. My husband is a master at hiding his illness. As far as him being willing to committ himself; nope, never happened. He has always been involuntarily committed. When one lacks insight into their illness, re-hospitalization occurs!
Reading your other posts on this topic, I would like to share one thing with you that I realized along this road: getting angry and yelling at your sibling is not going to work. Yelling is not going to make her go in the shower, clean her clothes or clean up her mess…only meds can do that. I have read that most schizophrenics who have auditory hallucinations usually deal with at least one voice that constantly criticizes them. I decided awhile back not to be just another negative voice in his head criticizing him for the way he smelled or the way he wore his clothing.
This last trip to the hospital has been on a more positive side: he is taking meds that seem to really be helping him this time: he is clean, my house is spotless, he takes care of the grocery shopping and the cooking. He is keeping busy and very motivated like he used to be. I’m hoping these meds continue to help him because he is smiling and laughing a lot more than he used to and he seems happy! I haven’t seen this guy in awhile and it’s good to have him back…I am feeling thankful!!


@Ginger, up until he was put in the hospital, my husband showered and changed clothes every day on his own without question. I am thankful to be able to say that I’ve never gotten angry at him over this illness. I sure have felt resentment towards the situation but I have his sister as my best friend and through the years, she’s been the one to listen to me moan and groan when I felt like I couldn’t do this anymore! I would never blame my sweet (normally) husband for something that is not his fault. The reason he is refusing to shower in the hospital is beyond me! I just hope they do the forced meds and he can eventually return home to be with us again.


Hi Ginger,
So glad for you that you have him back. I’v waited and hoped and prayed for that with my sibling when other people in her life just give up, including health care professionals !
Laughed out loud when you said you’re husband is a master at hiding his illness - so is she ! She can fool anyone.
Her behavior is so severely skewed that I think behavioral cognitive therapy will help along with meds.
I’ve been a patient on a locked ward, they’re awful. Time passes so slowly, the fear of not being released, the noise - the confinement and limiting of freedoms, it retraumatizes her, I’m afraid. She needs a Roger’s Gaurdianship.