delete this because theres no delete
This sounds like it’s so hard on you! You are an adult but miss the closeness experienced in your family. Since you are in school you might still depend on them. My heart goes out to your family and in particular, your dad. Is your mom taking any medication? Sounds like she is refusing help. You seem to love your mom so much! Can you encourage her to get an evaluation (by a psychiatrist)? Maybe she would go with you to an appointment. Are you very far away?
I wish you well
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Are you sure your mom has schizophrenia? Has there been an actual diagnosis? Some hormone issues can be hugely troublesome.
If she does have scz,my husband grew up like you did, in a home where a brain disorder was present, but no one knew what was going on. Once you do see it, you end up questioning everything. Parents are the center of their children’s stability, sadly, like for your siblings and my husband’s, that just can’t be the case during those times a parent is struggling with their brain disorder.
In my opinion, managing her illness is your mom’s problem. You can point the way, but you can’t make her do what is needed. Limiting her illness’ effects on you is your problem to tackle. Love your mom, try to not let her brain disorder run your life.
If all of you want to maintain your original family, it is possible. Your dad may be able to recover and deal and he may be the one that can actually convince your mom to get diagnosed and take the proper action. Sometimes siblings do exit the “original” family to focus on their own lives and young families.
If no scz diagnosis has been made, the first step is a physical check up.
The specific thing that you can do for your mom - is take care of yourself and focus on your life. What I want as a parent is for my children to flourish in their own lives.
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What you are going through is incredibly difficult and stressful and you are in law school on top of that. It is obvious you are a very strong person. I know you want to maintain some semblance of close family and that may take time and patience to achieve. Before the close family can be restored again, your mom will need to find a way to achieve stability. Without a proper assessment by a professional that is not possible.
I would highly encourage her to get a complete physical from a regular doctor and a mental assessment from a psychiatric professional. levothyroxine is prescribed for low acting thyroid problems and xanax is only meant as a temporary short term help for anxiety attacks, neither is a psychiatric stabilizer in the long term. I agree with what others here have said that both physical and mental health should be addressed as soon as possible and if you can help to facilitate that -it may go a long way toward helping your mom get back to the family setting in a positive way.
You and your siblings are very wise to monitor your own stress levels and behaviors and take good care of yourselves to avoid issues in the future. Often times individual counseling for yourself and/or your siblings and even your father, can help shed unbiased light on the situation and offer new perspectives and coping skills to deal with the stress. I wish you and your family the best in the future,
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For those of you who have replied, thank you for your kind words. After posting this last night, I didn’t know what or how to feel. This was the first time I spoke out about my feelings and how this experience has effected my life. Everyday I continue to have continuous thoughts that race through my head with no where to release the anguish. Reading the advice in your posts made me feel comforted for the first time in awhile - I can’t thank you enough for that. I will try to implement some of the things that were suggested and hope for the best. Everyone in my family has given up but I am determined fulfill my role in it.
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While I whole heartedly agree a thorough medical evaluation is in order for mom, unless she is willing to let you be part of the process, you will not learn what was discussed or follow up advice. You may speak with her medical provider regarding what you have noticed, but it will be one sided. So even if you get her to go in for a physical, don’t count on a definitive answer at that point. This will be a long process.
Please do see a doctor yourself for your stress.
It is possible if you let go of your insistence she is ill she may be more willing to share with you and give you some idea of what is going on in her head. Forget about trying to prove her delusions wrong. She probably will never see it your way and it prevents trust from building.
This is hard. I have a son with sz and a mom with Alzheimer dementia. At any given point one or both of them have insisted the only problem in their life is I am trying to control them. I just smile and nod and do what I know to be the best for them.
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