Home, Diag Forum, About, Contact Us, FAQ

How can I use LEAP when my wife doesn't like to be asked questions


#1

I’m reading the Xavier Amador book and trying empathic listening, which says if you’re doing it right you sound like a journalist asking lots of questions.
However when my wife is in her worst state, she gets irritated if I ask her more than one or two questions. If thats the case, then how can I proceed?


#2

Listen and empathize without asking questions. That’s as far as I got and it still helped alot. Le method — doesn’t it sound French?


#3

Yes, I agree with @Hereandhere, LEAP is not about asking questions. The first step with LEAP is “L” for Listening (reflective listening). Then you "E"mpathize. You do not have to get through all the steps at first. Start at the beginning to build trust and don’t push it. You have to be patient. You could practice it on someone else. I found I had to read certain key parts of the book more than once. You can also go to the LEAP Institute website and there is a video that does a good job of showing Dr. Amador actually using this. You might have to dig to find it on the website.


#4

@Hereandhere has a good point, you have to figure out what works for your situation. Aren’t the questions more like repeating back what they said and asking if you are hearing them correctly?

Empathizing is good because it deals with the emotion they are feeling rather than the delusions they are sharing. Especially, if repeating the delusion bothers you.