After his weekend of calling relatives and 911 for help, he must have gotten what he needed when the sheriff called us. I think he felt he was heard. The relatives dropped the ball and didn’t listen and repeat back - hey its hard I know - but when they told him we loved him, they let him down. The sheriff came through for him by not telling him his parents loved him. He took down the complaint, called us, and my son was heard.
He was quiet all day Sunday. Today he took a yoga class and did his grocery shopping.
My son has been working himself up in the same vein recently. This, while I am standing at the stove cooking his favorite foods that I shopped for and brought to the house that I have provided to him to live in, where he has the AC cranked up to high.
my son has been very unwell for many years. i dont beliefe in medication/ forced sectioning etc therefore tried to keep him away from the mental health system and hospitals for as long as possible. until he got scheduled a few times and forcefully medicated. since then he has been on Clozepine but the side effects were so bad and symptoms worstened that i made the decision to get him off the meds unsupervised because no doctor would want to help us. so far so good, he has a much better life, has not had any episodes yet. we dont know what is ‘around the corner’ but i guess we have to try and see what works. Doctors are not really interested if he is doing well but more want to force on the patient what they have been trained for. for them medication is the only solution. not for me. there are many other factors. i think Open Dialog from Finland is a wonderful approach and i am going to do training in it next week. i am sure there is still a very long road ahead of us and many ups and downs, just have to ride along with them on their journey and observe, help where we can, not be closed minded and believe everything what doctors say. times will change and mental laws will hopefully also change. i do not beliefe in doing anything by force. they are people, the most vulerable people. we are carers/ parents should also have a say and be able to be part of the decision making. we have to live with our loved ones. we know them better than anybody. we have to stand up for them. its been a horrendous journey for us but i have to hang on to hope… it might get better…
And you are so correct, hoping that the scz will get better is a real possibility and worth hanging on to the hope.
My son spent the last 3 years unmedicated here on our property with as little stress as possible. We are hoping that these years gave him a chance to figure out how to handle his scz. Jeb has never been medicated for his scz, counting his prodromal where he first began to change, he has dealt with scz for 18 years.
This is where we are, you are correct, we are just riding along with him on his journey - for me as much as he allows- which is usually just when he needs help. Thankfully, he still calls for help when he gets in a jam. This week he realized he was lost in a large city. Once he was lost and wanted to call me for help, he realized he had forgotten his phone. Remembering to take his phone is one of his struggles.
He found a kind receptionist in an office building who allowed him to use the phone. He asked me to send him an Uber or a taxi to get him home. He couldn’t give me the address but the receptionist did.
I try to remember that Dr E Fuller Torrey has written that we should only force meds or hospitalizations to save their lives or someone else’s. A part of me thinks Jeb’s life would be easier on meds.
The tricky part here is that often we can’t get the authorities to act on the threats as they will calm down when the authorities arrive. Or there are no threats, something really bad happens without warning.
After you attend the Open Dialogue training, would you please tell us about it on this forum?
I have an unmedicated fiance who has paranoid schitzophrenia. He can barely hold down a minimum wage job as of right now because he is unmedicated and refuses to recognize that he has delusions. He thinks he knows the truth and that the rest of us are “brainwashed.” Recently his paranoia has been getting very bad and he is very rude through texting. It got so bad that he asked for space yesterday without any contact which was very hard for me, as he has never done this before. I would say with an unmedicated loved one who suffers from this, every day is highly unpredictable. I don’t know whether I will have the sweet caring loving man I love or this unreasonable distant and cold person who lashes out at me for no reason.
Its so difficult at times to be there for someone with scz. Paranoid features make it especially hard. Schizophrenia tends to cycle through better and worse periods. There is no way they can recognize their delusions are not real when they are in a bad cycle. To them, the delusions are as real as reality is for you.
Have you had a chance to learn about anosognoisa? Its a symptom of schizophrenia that keeps our loved ones from realizing they are ill. In the past, people often believed that our loved ones were “in denial” and tried to talk them out of denial. Trying to talk someone out of a delusion only frightens them.
Are you able to give him the space he is asking for until he cycles into a better period?
Are there other support people in his life that can help you?
Has he ever been medicated for schizophrenia in the past?
Thank you so much for replying to me! That in itself makes me feel like I am not alone in this. I have looked into anosognoisa but thank you for mentioning it. I will definitely look into that. I was able to give him his space yesterday but it was very very hard for me as he is usually able to function well enough that he and I have a moderately healthy relationship given his condition. That is why him wanting space all of a sudden felt almost like it was personal and he wanted space because I had done something wrong or he was unhappy in the relationship. Unfortunately there is no one in his life that can help me. He has a toxic relationship with his mother and sister (he lives at home with them) and his father is largely absent. Neither of his parents are willing to accept his condition and are in denial. He has never been medicated for schizophrenia but has been medicated for depression years ago. He had to stop his meds though because he attempted suicide via overdose. Whenever problems come up in our relationship I think I have to accept that he is not a normally functioning person and so therefore cannot cope with dealing with the problems as a normal person would. In his current condition, I am very tempted to just sweep any problems between him and I under the rug or else risk adding to his stress and making him push me away even more.
Since he has explained to you that he has scz, he is somewhat aware, correct?
I wonder if his depression was during his prodromal period. Has he talked to you about the voices he hears, maybe you have heard him talking to his voices? The meds for depression are different than the meds for scz, though many people are on more than one med.
How terrible for him to have been diagnosed with scz and his parents don’t believe it. have
Yes, don’t take anything personally, give him space that he asks for, go to Family to Family and ask him to attend Peer to Peer. And really think about making meds a requirement for your relationship.
He has never said that he is scz in a serious tone. One time we were watching a youtube video about a paranoid scz and he said “wow that sounds like me.” He will rarely have this flashes of insight but then goes back to the whole i’m not sick, i have the truth. He doesn’t hear voices. Instead he thinks there are people out to persecute him. For ex, he thinks that people called the satanic iluminati dressed up in invisibility cloaks and entered his house without having to use the key to the door and stole drawings that he never made in the first place. His parents are indeed in denial. I think the best thing for me to do to keep my mental health which is very important as well is to not take anything he says when he is having a psychotic break personally.
@vivien19 - Check out those I’m not sick I don’t need help videos. They are very helpful regarding how to talk to a person who doesn’t think they are sick. Also - there are many people with this and there are support groups on FB if you want to see other examples of what people are going through with sz. I joined a few on FB but there were so many comments I had to get off and revisit when I want to read about it. One comment the other day was from a sz man who said - I just saw a cat in the kitchen, I don’t have a cat. The thread went on with others chiming in that they like their cat hallucinations - some making light of it. They are really interesting to follow to understand what our folks are going through. Another questions was how often do your voices stop? Many said their voices never stop.
Wow, it is amazing I just read this post as the thought literally JUST occurred to me to stage an intervention type of thing with all family members present to try to force the issue of meds. My son seems to have lost insight as of late, now that it’s been about 3 months since he stopped taking meds. He says he’s doing great when it is clearly obvious he is not.
He is also rapidly cycling into relapse and I am reliving the trauma of 8 months ago (his first psych break) as one by one the same symptoms and behaviors are returning.
I am curious about how such an intervention can work legally. I live in a horrible state for any kind of forcing of ANYTHING regarding mental health. It is perfectly fine in my state for psychotic individuals to be on the loose doing whatever they want as long as they aren’t a threat to others or themselves (which really, just being psychotic IS a threat to the self… so unpredictable…)
An officer answering our 911 call in December told us “there isn’t any law against being mentally ill”.
If you are talking about an intervention where family members gather and try to persuade your son to go back on his meds, there isn’t anything illegal there.
In my notification another thread pulled up about how my old support group wanted me to stage a situation that would result in my son getting arrested. So,
If you are talking about staging a moment in which someone aggravates your son into breaking a law that would result in his arrest - that’s a different matter and it is illegal. Sometimes family members have written about falsely reporting assaults or threats to get their family members with brain disease arrested -in hopes of getting them on court ordered medications.