I’m glad I found this group I need someone to talk to and I don’t think many others can truly understand. Reading through these stories makes me feel less alone. Here goes my story and first time experiencing a schizophrenic episode. I had been dating him for 2 years and never seen him ever lose his cool, I’ve always known a kind, compassionate, caring man, he had always been loving and sweet and quite literally the best man I’ve ever dated. We were not aware of his condition aside from PTSD from some trauma as a child and in the military. Our only issue being together was that I disliked him when he drank so we “stopped” drinking altogether. I believe the episode started on a 2 week vacation in Portugal. Which is important to note because he had never left the country or been around everyone speaking a different language for 2 weeks straight. Since we were on vacation we thought a few drinks wouldn’t hurt throughout the end of our trip. One night, (no drinking involved on this day) he wanted to have sex but I had a long day, we had a memorial church ceremony for my grandfather at night and my gma was in the next room so I had said no and he went to bed upset… then I slept in and he went out in the morning. He picked me up when I texted him and we went into the city and sat at a plaza. I ordered espresso and he ordered a beer…. I gave him a hard time about drinking (even though we had been drinking beers like when we went to the street parties and we were on vaca so I got over it quick) After that he ordered a margarita and midway through said he already had 2 before he picked me up… so I was annoyed but I was like screw it and also had a margarita. after that we went and got ice cream and I ordered a sangria and he drank another beer… he lost my wallet so I lost my temper on him but then we found it from the cashier and I was like ok you’re done drinking we’re leaving. He didn’t want to come so I waited for him at a bench. He came down the stairs and I called his name and waved him over. He didn’t come, said he didn’t see me (really did thought he did) and he walked the other way. anyway, so now I’m calling and texting him and he isn’t answering - which I later learned he forgot his passcode and locked himself out, so I’m pissed and start walking home, finally I get in touch w him but I’m already half way back to the house and he can’t find the car. He gets back at around the same time I did and my gma asked him where I went he was trying to explain bc he doesn’t speak Portuguese and then i heard this as I walked up the street and I tell her he got drunk in the city, so I left him there. Then he was outside yelling this guy across the streets name wanting to fight him and I got him to come inside where my gma was like wtf making him drink milk and bread to sober up…. We went upstairs and I was like that all was unacceptable etc so he smashes his head on the mirror breaking my late grandfathers antique mirror, bleeding. I freaked out bc like wtf thought the dude was about to die or pass out. Wrapped his head, and he ended up being fine. We eventually went to sleep much later… at this point I’m so aggravated with him and I have no idea about this illness… the next day I was on the phone with my dad telling him about things and my boyfriend had said something about me getting raped when I was younger by the guy across the street to my dad so I was like wtf and slapped him… I was so mad he would do that to me… after that I told him that I need to go back to my parents for a little when we return to America - that I didn’t want to break up but I was really upset and needed a break. So fast forward to the night we got back which was about 2 days later. We came back to a destroyed home (we lived in a conversion bus built by him so we could travel the country) but everything was a mess bc of our dogs anxiety (we did have a care taker for them but they were still staying at the bus) and the fridge had went out so there were thousands of maggots in it. We got the fridge out and cleaned up then went to bed, but had to wake up for work the next day. This was the day of the incident, we both worked. He had a stressful day as a business owner but aside from that it was a normal day… he asked if I wanted to go get dinner since we had no fridge of food. I was supposed to get my car back from my cousin bc I let him borrow it while I was away and had coordinated after work to get it. So I was explaining to my boyfriend how my cousin was going to pick me up and I was gonna drive him back and then we could get dinner after that. He acted like he was coming, so I was just like “do you mind if I just go I just need a little space…” he was kinda like oh… ok… like don’t you want to get dinner first… so I was like okay I’ll just have my cousin get me tomorrow. During dinner we were discussing all the things that happened towards the end of our trip and I was explaining how I just don’t feel good about what he did and I was going to take a couple weeks at my parents to clear my head…. He was super upset. Wanted to take a shower with me and I was just like no let’s do separate ones pls and he was like wtf and I was like why are you pressuring me and so he ended up taking a longer one bc I said that and wanted to go to sleep. After that there was weird vibes and I took a shower and laid down in bed. He took his pants off and started jerking off…. I asked him to please stop. He wasn’t stopping and then he started saying shit like give me a blow job and I’m like no stop He wouldnt stop. So i was like listen we’re both tired I’m gonna go to my cousins for the night we can talk tomorrow and w/e. He still wouldnt stop so I called my cousin and my boyfriend freeeeaked like who are you calling, the cops??! I told him no my cousin and then he was like oh ok that’s fine as long as it’s only your cousin. Then 2 secs later like who the f are you calling then was like I’m gonna break your phone is it the cops… so he comes after me for my phone. Didn’t hit me but was grabbing me super aggressively trying to take my phone but I wouldn’t let him. I managed to run to his moms who lived on the same property and banged on her door like HELP. She comes outside and there happend to be a cop in his cruiser monitoring traffic across the street and boyfriend saw them and thought we called so he told his mom to give him her phone bc he was going to break it. She gave it to him and he got on the ground and started smashing her phone, then he went back to our place and his mom made me go to her house and brought me there to hide… he came back up and told us that he had shot the cops. Then he had been talking to his mom and sister and looked at me and was like we should rape her… his mom was like wtf… Then was like we should kill her and started to walk towards me and had grabbed me by the hair. His sister got in between and I ran. I didnt see any cop in the car… so I was thinking he really did shoot them. So I ran, barefoot and in booty shorts down the street and into the woods scared for my life stepping on thorns and who knows what, but I didn’t want to die… he had guns… not that he pulled any of them out. His sis had called the cops and he was taken away in an ambulance. Idk now he’s been calling me every day since apologizing and how he wasn’t himself and now is on medication… I’m certainly not ready to see him any time soon but like I feel partially at blame bc I can be quick tempered and had no idea what he was going through. I’m lost and I have no idea if I keep on running away from him or stick around and pray he continues his medication and that it never happens again or gets worse. That was my best friend after all…
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