Thanks for sharing your situation. I’m new to this new world I am now facing … and I’m trying to figure out this website. My daughter is 26 so far was diagnosed Bipolar with psychotic delusions however we are now into our 3rd psychotic episode since dec 2015 so the diagnosis may end up changing . This time she was on medication and it appears they stopped working so we are struggling to try to get her help the medication that has worked for her in the past is Abilify then refused it and was on Seroquil as a maintence dose… worked perfectly for 5 months.
Good luck with your son !
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Thanks for sharing your situation. We had several people in our FtF class that had initially received a different diagnosis than scz. The doctors seem to like to see a longtime pattern before they will commit to a scz diagnosis. My son’s original diagnosis was major depressive disorder and social anxiety. He was hearing voices, but to him they weren’t voices, so he didn’t describe them as voices.
He may eventually get on meds, we just aren’t there yet. Good luck to you and your daughter:)
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My son has now started to,say he can get messages, he says he must learn to read minds as others can, not everyone but he has heated people’s “inner thoughts” and some can hear his.
He said last week he heard the word “sunglasses” I noticed he had started wearing them around a lot,even in the house.
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Jane57, I can’t say this for sure, but I think those messages & hearing people’s inner thoughts are his way of explaining that he hears voices.
It took me a long time to figure out my son heard voices. For a long time, I clung to the psychotic depression diagnosis because, after all, he ONLY had delusions & didn’t hallucinate or hear voices.
He does, but he explains them as if they were a delusion. He explains hallucinations as having ESP and being able to see through other people’s heads. He knows what he’s seeing isn’t there or is strange, but he says someone else must be seeing it, and he’s seeing it through their “head” - we would say through their eyes.
He says similar things about the voices. Sometimes, they come from the TV or the computer. Other times, it’s because he’s psychic.
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For my son, that’s how it all started. Well, it’s when it came to my attention. He was away at University and told me that he was sure that the Professors were reading his mind and sending him messages as well. He then was trying to figure out how he could send thoughts back to them. The Sz ramped up from there. Such a strange disease and so sad and frightening for the people who suffer!
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Slw your sons theme here sounds so familiar, when we think of hearing voices I guess we simplify it , but perhaps it’s more complicated and they way our sons explain it makes us (me) miss the point.
He also says the first time he got discharged from hospital without treatment in 2015 he should have taken the pill to enable him to read minds then.
He’s also just said to his dad that my mum , his gran had a pill ready at hers when he was there and it was all going to happen then but it didn’t. Happen meaning he was going to be abducted.
Our family therapist did say that people can say things that aren’t exactly what they mean . My son is definately having a deterioration, he is stressed I know at the change to zuclopenthixol tomorrow especially as it’s I his backside .
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My son also at university started then too. He also spoke of a man psychically bullying him. I wonder deep down what all our relatives have in common, I’m sure there’s a link we don’t know of with this illness if you know what I mean.
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My son just recently complained “Dad is controlling my thought processes”
I can even begin to imagine what that could mean.
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Yes that sounds familiar (ish) my son said his dad spiked his drink or at least arranged for his drink to ne spiked with something called “truth serum”
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Someone explained confabulation to me on this forum - excuse me for not remembering who.
“In psychiatry, confabulation (verb: confabulate) is a disturbance of memory, defined as the production of fabricated, distorted, or misinterpreted memories about oneself or the world, without the conscious intention to deceive.”
But, think about it. If weird things were happening to you, things you couldn’t quite control, and you knew something wasn’t quite right, but you just couldn’t see that you had a serious mental illness, then all these explanations make perfect sense.
At first it was so surprising that there was so much in common, but the more I learn & the more I think about it, I think it would be more surprising if there weren’t common themes.
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In the beginning, when my son was first diagnosed, he wore sunglasses everywhere! Said it made him invisible. He also kept his headphones in his ears at all times. He still does that. And will stand in front of the mirror and sing for hours. He says while he is singing he doesn’t hear the voices. He used to draw a lot but hasn’t done that in a while. He has 5 different distinct personalities and the one that came out last night was “Heat” which is the mean one. “Prime” is the one that speaks the most and keeps the other 4 in check. He is also the one whom God speaks to. He knows the Bible front to back and is quick to correct people. Then there’s “Dusty” the 7 yr old child who witnessed my abuse from his father and continues to try and protect me. (Which is part of the reason I’m divorced). “Duston” is the one that reads people’s thoughts and can hear people talking to him that are deceased or live very far away. The last one doesn’t have a name and never speaks. That is the one that when he is out, my son doesn’t remember anything. I believe he was out yesterday when I was in bed and was the one that put the rags, water, taquitos and pimento cheese lid in the freezer!! When I got up and saw this I woke him up off couch to take med (it was 9pm) that’s when Heat came out.
He is currently asleep and hasn’t taken his meds for today. But after last night, I dare not wake him up!! I’m just now starting to feel better after my 3 day migraine and I don’t want to do anything to upset either one of us!! We are both worn smooth out!!
I really do appreciate everyone on here bc I feel heard and understood! As always continuing to pray for everyone and our loved ones!! 
This is going to sound really insensitive, but I don’t mean it that way.
i remember that you have a somewhat friendly relationship with your abusive ex-husband, but your ex-husband doesn’t want much, if anything, to do with your son.
If I was going to play amateur psychiatrist, which I do way to often, what you just said sounds like your ex’s abuse was as much of a trigger for your son as genetics, or drug abuse, or anything else. And, since I know drug addicts (a lot of them), I’m going to guess that he does drugs so for just a little while he doesn’t have to remember - and perhaps it’s that abuse he doesn’t want to remember or can’t forget. Watching someone you love get abused & not being able to stop it can be way worse than getting abused yourself.
Have you ever pointed out that to your ex-husband? That it might all go back to that? Or, would he think that’s all a bunch of BS.
Heat could even represent your ex husband.
I’m sorry if that sounds a little rough, but I find the distinct personalities, especially related to your history, fascinating.
I also think some trouble in my marriage early on triggered at least some of my son’s illness. There wasn’t much of anything physical, but a lot of verbal fights - and I was just as bad as his father so I’m equally to blame. Not that it makes it any better. So, I’m not pointing any fingers that I wouldn’t point at myself, just a little curious.
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I agree with you 
%!! My son already had the gene and his father’s abuse towards me is what triggered it. I have brought this to his father and grandmother’s attention several times. But my ex still refuses to admit that he abused me. Even though it is on police records. He always comes back and says that our daughter doesn’t have problems so why the difference? To which I try to explain that she was only 5 when we divorced and doesn’t remember the abuse. Dusty was 7.
Looking back I saw early signs that something was wrong and had him in therapy from age 8-15. Everyone just thought he was a rebellious child. Little did we know!! He started smoking pot at 15 and it progressed from there. Anything to stop/silence what was going on inside his head. Then when he came back home to live with me at 22 and I knew for a fact he was drug free, I sought professional help again. That’s when he was diagnosed with sz and bpd. His father still does not accept it. He just says the drugs are what did it. This coming from a 53 yr old man that still smokes pot to this day!! And his crazy ex wife is the one that got all the kids doing meth which caused the death of his youngest daughter almost 2yrs ago in a horrible truck wreck that killed all 3. She was 19.
Now our daughter works herself to death and is starting to have very bad anxiety and OCD. She doesn’t feel comfortable around her dad bc he smokes in front of everyone including the kids. But he thinks if he can throw money at them it will all be ok. Money is not what they want!! They want a present and sober dad. Oh and he is also an alcoholic. But he will go to his death bed refusing to take responsibility for any of his children’s problems!!
The gene comes from my side of the family. We have a long history of mi in my family. His fathers abuse triggered it. Spent many years in therapy thinking he was just a rebellious child. He quit school in 9th grade. Homeschool through 11th grade. Started drugs to self medicate until I finally got the correct diagnosis at age 22! 10 yrs ago. Yes he still smokes pot but the research I’ve done on these antipsychotic drugs and the damage they do on your organs makes me wish smoking pot was all he did!! Plus the fact you can’t od on pot.
I can only pray that one day his father will admit he played a part in our son’s mi and try to build a relationship with him! But I’m not holding my breath!!
I’ve stopped having to much communication with his dad bc it just hurts me to much. And while I could use the financial support, it’s not worth the cost of the mental stress it puts on our son!! That’s what matters most to me! I’ll just keep going it alone!! And with the support of this group!! 
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Well, maybe your ex has a MI of his own. Or if not, then he’s truly crazy - that’s the kind of thing I tell my son when he asks if he’s broken.
I tell him, no he’s not broken. He has a chemical imbalance we can fix.
The broken people are the ones that do terrible things to others, when there’s no mental disorder involved.
And, people react to things differently. I’ve had some bad things happen too, but I can apparently bounce back from anything, and once it’s over, it’s over for me. I may not always forgive people, but I move on & leave it behind.
Everything that is but my son’s illness - every break he has changes me too.
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My son’s doctor told him there is a similarity between Alzheimer’s and sz. Which makes sense in a way as both are diseases of the brain effecting cognitive functions. My son took it as he is doomed…but that is another story.
Hope things improve for you soon.
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