My mom has schizophrenia. She has had it my whole life (I’m 32) and I am the main caregiver.
Last year my dad died. He and my mother didn’t have any contact for years. My sister kept his ashes in her house, so we could decide what we wanted to do with them. My mom stole his ashes and dumped them in the sea.
I have been reading a lot of comments about forgiving and trying to understand that the hurtful things people with Schizophrenia do are because of their illness and not because they are bad people or want to hurt you. I heve been through a lot with my mother and normally I can take this approach with her. But in this case the thing she did is so big and hurtful that I don’t know what to do with this. I am so mad and hurt. Not just because she did this, but also because I didn’t have any say in what happened with my dad’s ashes. She took that part of the grieving process from us. This can never be replaced. It also feels like the grief surrounding my dad’s death is starting all over again.
At this point I can’t even speak to her. But at the same time I feel guilty, because mentally I know that she didn’t do this to hurt us. But I really don’t know how I can get over this or what to do. I am afraid that I can never forgive her for this. I really don’t know who to talk to about this. Because my friends can’t relate and don’t know what it means to have a family member with schizophrenia. They think I should cut her out of my life completely.
Does anyone have some advice?